100 clever remarks for ex-lovers - Witty jabs for exes

Ex-lovers are often seen as something quite detestable, akin to an eraser that fades and easily flies away. If you still feel bitter about your ex, it's time to post witty statuses to relieve stress. In this article, we'll compile for you 100 clever remarks for ex-lovers - Witty jabs for exes.

I. Witty jabs for exes that are hilarious

• I smirk as I watch you trade for someone worse than me.
• Does the woman beside you now resemble who I used to be?
• When love reaches its end, indifference becomes the reason for parting ways.
• You don't need to feel guilty, just think that I'm the one who wanted to break up.
• Take your baggage, leave my world, and I'll complete your shameless happiness.
• The phrase 'Wishing you happiness' is the most hypocritical I've ever heard.
• You once said I was your life, after losing your life, are you still alive?
• How can one be content with the ex cuddling every news. I want to witness marriage, arguments, cold wars, ultimately infidelity, infertility...
• Your promises to me, are you repeating them to her now?
• You told me: Sorry, you deserve better. I laugh, at least you still have some self-awareness.

• Exes are like chewed gum, tasteless after a while and nothing sweet about it.
• I'm ready to trade my ex for anything good in this world.
• After the breakup, reminiscing your 'I love you' sounds so sarcastic.
• You won't have a chance to find a beautiful girl with blind eyes like me again.
• Even breast milk can be weaned off. Who are you that I can't get rid of?
• When breaking up, always speak well of your ex. But if they're too ugly, you don't need to say anything.
• Outer beauty astonishes, inner beauty astounds during breakups.
• I often call exes 'holiday', short and swift.
• Wishing you perpetual loneliness and longevity.
• An ex is like money in the trash, regrets if not picked up, nausea if picked up.
• Thank you for loving me before. I'll be even more thankful that you stopped loving me.
• I won't attend your wedding, but please inform me of your funeral. I'll buy lots of fireworks to light up for you. Hope you accept this heartfelt gesture.
• In the next life, you'll become someone I like, then dislike.
• Heard your life isn't going well, I'm overjoyed.
• I'll have a better life, thanks to you, but not because of you.
• Seeing someone who looks like you on the street, I hurriedly chased them, then realized my mistake and dropped the brick I was holding, thankfully not hitting them.
• My home has an altar, waiting for your visit.
• Don't say love crazily and then betray innocently.
• Don't chase societal appearances with a 'Innocent' Mask...!!
• Loving for the body - only worth throwing away trash. Loving for material things - better off dead!

II. Witty jabs for exes

• I want to etch your name a thousand times in the sand. So the waves can crush your face.
• You came in like a breeze. But left in disgrace like a dog.
• On Facebook, voices of husband and wife... just illusions... through storms... towards emptiness!
• Love isn't a boat. Not every shore welcomes it and not everyone loves.
• I call you Thai hot pot broth. Because it's all bitter and spicy.
• Calling you a rice paper because you're cheap and two-faced.
• Calling you clothes because I have to change you every day.
• An ex is like money dropped in the trash. Why regret over nothing?
• Three pennies for a bunch of men. No need to regret a worthless one.
• Hey you! Do you know how many girls pursued the girl you abandoned?

• You said you'd take me through all life's obstacles. Turns out, from one junction to another, you diverted away?
• Calling you an eraser because you always fade in my heart.
• After causing pain, don't wish each other happiness... knowing it's just a formality after a breakup!
• I just got my driver's license. If you and her hit the road, be careful!
• Wishing you and loneliness a lifelong journey together.
• An ex is like a toilet paper. One-time use and never reused.
• I thought breaking up with you would help me forget the memories, the images of you. But instead, I forgot it all.
• An ex is like an expired medicine. Not useful anymore and harmful to health.
• If it's just hatred, I'd crush it. But since it's disdain, I'll stay silent as if you never existed.
• My resilience is abundant. But how do you defend against betrayers and villains like you?
• The betrayal we receive today isn't because we're foolish or too good... it's because we were too good to things unworthy.
• Love isn't a boat. Not every shore welcomes it and not everyone loves.
• No need for pity. I'll return to living as before. Learn to let go of what I once thought was everything.
• Calling you an eraser. Because you always fade in my heart.
• Calling you clothes. Because I have to change you every day.
• Calling you rice paper. Because you're cheap and two-faced.
• Calling you a boat. Because you dock everywhere.
• You said you'd be my sun. But every evening, you disappear.
• The girl you abandoned, now many pursue her.
• Lack of money, lack of food leads to death. But lack of men, life isn't over yet.
• Your ex is like money in the shit. Regret if not picked up, dirty hands if picked up.

III. Deeply Sarcastic Remarks

• We all know the ancient proverb: “If you set someone free and they never come back, then they were never yours.” Fear is like letting a dog loose, fearing it might get hit by a car, but an ex is the same. It's just an opportunity you have to seize.
• If it's just hatred, it's not clever. Silent smiles of disdain are the truth.
• If there were a zombie apocalypse now, my ex would survive till the end because zombies only eat brains.
• Dating an ex is like riding a roller coaster – full of ups and downs, but ultimately makes me nauseous.
• I always remember my ex, once a week, and that's garbage day.
• Don't cry over the past, laugh because his new girlfriend isn't as pretty as you.
• If an ex texts: “I still love you,” reply with “can’t blame you.”
• Loving someone means giving your all, not being with someone who paints futures with words.
• Loving for the body, worth tossing into the trash.
• An ex is just a “holiday”, enjoyable or not, it’s time to work. Working for money creates more value than holidaying.
• Evil nature, rotten personality, spraying liters of perfume won't cover the stench.
• You're like a rice paper, quick to consume but cheap and two-faced.
• An ex is nothing special, just like clothes, they need changing daily to avoid staining oneself, both physically and mentally.

• When in bed with them, your mind is elsewhere. So if you left, don’t come back, don’t think of me when regretting your bad choices.
• In this life, don’t love to insanity only to betray innocently. If you can’t be innocent, don’t try to play innocent!!!
• Today's betrayal isn't because I'm foolish, but because I tried, just not with the right person.
• Sometimes seeing the men I once loved, I can't help but doubt my sanity.
• Disappointment is like loose change, insignificant until you gather enough to buy a one-way ticket away from you… forever.
• Your emotions are depleted. Or maybe love has expired for you!
• Promises yesterday, paths diverged today.
• Loving you, I smile. No longer loving you, I'm like a mute.
• Everything starts with randomness. And ends in a romantic mishap.
• Your path is full of stones and bricks. What will I use to smash your face?
• Roses are red. Skies are blue. My hand has five fingers. The middle one is for you.
• This story is long, telling it feels awkward, so let's stop here, we split ways.
• With you, I'm strangely peaceful. Without you, I feel strange but also peaceful.
• You're like a Thai hotpot, initially sour and spicy, later bland.
• Life is unfair, why does fate joke like this, letting you live in peace post-breakup?
• The past is cheap, don't bother the expensive future, stop fantasizing strength, oh former lover.

IV. Superbly Witty Status Updates

• No matter how beautiful the past was, it becomes a mourning object when love ends.
• In reality, we all know time passes, and some do not need to linger.
• I turned away immediately because there's no room for regret in my dictionary.
• It's better to not love at all than to love the wrong person.
• You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.
• Your ex-lover is not a mistake; it's part of your growth.
• You don't remember your ex-lover; you remember the memories with them.
• Remember, you were happy before meeting someone, so you'll be happy after they leave.
• If your loved one hurts you, cry a river, then build a bridge and move on.
• Sometimes women remember their ex-lovers, not because they're still in love, but as a reminder and motivation to do better.

We've compiled for you 100 sarcastic quotes about ex-lovers - incredibly cool NYC burns. Have a great day!