Being 30 and single? No big deal! Being with someone isn't everything!

Freedom at 30 allows me to accomplish so much. My friends with husbands and boyfriends envy my independence.

When I told a new colleague, 'I'm 30 this year, never had a crush or been liked by anyone. Basically, zero romantic experience. I'm now labeled as the 'old single girl.'' She didn't believe me, saying, 'You must be joking or hiding past relationships. With your looks and successful career, no one has noticed?' I chuckled, 'Wish I had a past relationship to remember.'

At 30, still single. It's the truth, not everyone believes it, just like my new colleague. She said, 'How do you survive a boring day without any guy texting or showing interest? Are you sure you're a girl?' I laughed, 'No guys, but I have other relationships and interests to focus on. Guys aren't everything.' She argued, 'But they're a significant part of your life, like women are for men.' I concluded, 'That's your perspective, not mine.'

I remember a time when a young intern, under my direct guidance, bid farewell on the last day. She said to me, 'How are you so capable of handling everything and solving every problem? Men usually don't like women who are too perfect. Their protective instincts won't kick in.' I replied, 'Actually, I'm not perfect or demanding. I just do things to the best of my ability. Whether it's big or small, in work or daily life, if I can handle it, I prefer to do it myself without bothering anyone.' It's this personality that makes people around me say, 'You're too independent; that's why guys don't bother with you.'

I'm not some macho man. I just always liked being independent from a young age. When things in the house broke, like the light bulb, fan cord, chair leg, torn clothes, or worn-out shoes... I always found ways to fix them based on my own knowledge for the best results. I rarely sought help from my parents or siblings. Regarding career choices, I decided based on my strengths. I wanted to be a business professional instead of attempting to become a teacher or accountant just to easily get into civil service as my parents wished. When my parents tried to persuade me to return to work for my uncle's business in our hometown, I declined.

I told my mom, 'Mom, love makes Dad happy with his new partner. Without love, even if we stay together, the family's happiness is fake. I'm the same; if I have to go back to work for my uncle, it's like killing my love for my current job, so I won't go anywhere.' My mom sighed again. I'm so familiar with my mom's sighs that whenever she wants me to do something, but I refuse with my own perspective, I can accurately predict when her sighs will come. My mom said, 'Fine, do whatever you want. Just don't go against your conscience.'

In Saigon, I live alone. I don't want my slightly eccentric habits like staying up late, waking up late, enjoying dancing to sudden bursts of inspiration, or yelling when a brilliant idea strikes to affect others in a shared living space, so I choose not to live with anyone. In the workplace, I'm quite straightforward. With subordinates, when they make mistakes or fail to meet requirements, I often talk very seriously, not hesitating to use strong words to point out their weaknesses. Therefore, many employees don't like me or hesitate to interact with me. With superiors, if they have disagreements with us, I don't back down; I straightforwardly point out the shortcomings of the higher-ups and tell them to take responsibility, assessing the capabilities of those below. The bosses rarely ask me to attend important meetings. But they have never intended for me to resign.

When it comes to relationships, I'm even more straightforward. Many colleagues and friends set me up with diverse individuals from lawyers, doctors to journalists, designers, graphic artists... but I've never had a date that extended beyond the third meeting. Most of them don't even contact me right after the first date. Those who make it to the second date often hear me say, 'We're just not compatible,' and then we part ways. It's not that I'm picky or have high standards. It's just that the people I meet either talk too much, are overly sarcastic, overly expressive, want to get married immediately due to family pressure, or are too insecure and seek a sweet, cute girlfriend.

When I discover their issues, I don't hesitate to say, 'I'm not a match for you' or 'There are things about you that don't align with me. It would be challenging for us to become a couple.' Many of them are quite surprised and confused when talking to me and then never schedule another meeting. After my friends inquire about the reasons for not meeting again and hear the whole story from me, they can't help but shake their heads, 'Oh my, can't you pretend to be a bit delicate and reserved? Men love to protect and cherish their loved ones; do you really need to be so straightforward? Besides, pay attention to people's personalities a bit; otherwise, even during the Chinese New Year, no one will approach you.'

I respond, 'Why should I pretend? What if they find out later that I'm not like that and then leave me? I think, at the beginning of a relationship, it's essential to reveal one's true nature to see if the other person is genuine. If someone likes me, even if I want to kill him, he will still like me and want to protect me, not disappear after hearing a few comments.' My friend is even more perplexed, 'Men like you are extinct now.' I shake my head, 'That's why I'm still single until now.'

And so, I remain single. My friends worry that I'll fall into depression due to lack of romantic attention, feeling inferior compared to friends with partners or spouses. My family is concerned that in a few years, there won't be any eligible bachelors left for me, and I'll have to settle for divorced or abandoned men, making my situation even more desperate, with the risk of not finding a husband.

Being 30 and single allows me to book tickets to travel anywhere, anytime, with anyone, for as long as I want. No worries about finding someone available, coordinating schedules, or dealing with jealousy when exploring with different companions.

At 30, being unattached gives me the freedom to switch jobs freely if I feel unsatisfied or want to challenge myself in a new environment. No concerns about needing a stable job to build a future with someone else.

At 30, remaining single means I can confidently showcase figure-hugging or sexy dresses, wear a bikini at crowded beaches, sport ripped knee jeans, a midriff-baring crop top, bold red lipstick, and messy, tousled curls without fearing judgment or conforming to someone else's expectations.

At 30, being unattached allows me to take a break from a lucrative job and use the entire account balance to travel or pursue my passions without worrying about saving for a small family.