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To cocoon or encourage independence, the debate over 'love with the rod or let it slide,' comforting a crying child or not... always sparks arguments among parents. Japanese Professor: 'Vietnamese children are leaning too heavily on their parents.' Vietnamese mothers share 8 things you should never do to your child. The hardships only Vietnamese mothers truly understand.
1. To Cocoon or Encourage Independence?
In daily life, it's not difficult to witness Vietnamese parents excessively pampering their children, doing everything for them from a young age. In preschool, many Vietnamese mothers don't let their children do anything for fear of dirt, damage, or exhaustion. Even at the university level, many mothers 'worry immediately' when their child is preparing for college, moving to a dorm without knowing how to cook, and lacking basic self-care skills. Therefore, the decision to let the child become independent, sleep alone, take care of personal hygiene, or participate in cooking and housekeeping tasks in some families is considered extravagant and remains a topic of heated debate.
Even parents who support corporal punishment are uncertain about its negative effects on a child's psyche and question whether spanking is a genuinely effective disciplinary method.
Hence, the decision to let the child become independent, sleep alone, take care of personal hygiene, or participate in cooking and housekeeping tasks in some families is considered extravagant and remains a topic of heated debate.
2. To Spank or Not to Spank?
Disciplining children to ensure good behavior is a matter that Vietnamese parents discuss endlessly. Some parents believe in 'love with the rod or let it slide,' thinking that spanking is necessary for children to learn fear and discipline. On the contrary, some parents strongly oppose this approach, claiming that spanking can cause significant psychological trauma to the child.
Most parents admit that, due to their inability to control anger, they occasionally resort to spanking. Even those who believe in 'disciplining through spanking' still debate when and how to spank and whether it truly serves as an effective deterrent.
These parents are also uncertain about the negative impacts on a child's psyche if the spanking method is applied. They question whether spanking is indeed a good disciplinary approach.
3. To Comfort or Let Cry?
Comforting or letting a child cry is another highly debated issue among mothers. Some parents successfully adopt a sleep training method from an early age. Initially, the child may cry for an extended period, but gradually, the crying time shortens, and the child becomes accustomed to sleeping alone. On the flip side, some parents fail with this method and consider those who let their child cry for such a long time as excessively cruel.
Similarly, in a different scenario, when taking the child to the supermarket or to a restaurant with the mother, the child suddenly bursts into tears and screams when not allowed to buy a favorite toy. Parents argue in that situation whether to teach the child in their own way or to meet the child's needs to stop the crying. Some believe in comforting the child, not letting them cry in crowded places, affecting others around.
However, many others believe that, to teach the child independence, compromising with the child in any situation is not advisable. Because, according to them, compromising with the child once is synonymous with letting the child have their way, encroaching further.
The Gia Đình Việt Nam
