Dear husband, do you know that no woman in this world wants to shoulder everything alone? Every woman wants to lean on her husband, to be loved, cared for, and protected. This desire intensifies, especially for a postpartum woman like me.
Just after overcoming childbirth, it's like stepping through the 'gateway of life and death.' Regardless of the woman's natural strength and prior good health, she becomes extremely vulnerable. Postpartum women experience reduced health, disrupted sleep, and are at risk of depression. I, too, need your shoulder, your embrace, encouraging words, and your help.
Dear husband, since having our child, our family life has been completely overturned. The neat and tidy room, the fragrant atmosphere, and the prepared meal are no longer there when you come home. I don't rush to the door to greet you, carry your bag, or prepare your bathwater as before. Now, you no longer see the image of a lovely, tidy wife; instead, what you see is a 'sloppy mom' in disheveled clothes, messy hair, a plump body, and always carrying the scent of milk. Doesn't it disappoint you a lot? I feel the same way and feel that my life is no longer on the right track as it used to be.
Since having a child, almost all of my tasks and activities have been turned upside down because the baby cries, demanding to be held all night. I can't get a wink of sleep, and when the baby needs to eat or be cleaned, it doesn't follow any specific schedule, making me frantic. There have been times I had to seek your help or call my mom for assistance, which made you angrily exclaim, 'As a woman, don't you know how to take care of a child?' But, do husbands know how challenging and difficult it is to care for a child, especially an infant? That's not to mention the countless unnamed household chores that also take up a lot of time. Have you ever sat down and wondered who does all the tasks like cooking, cleaning, laundry, and housekeeping? It's me, your wife, and the mother of our dear son.
I remember more than once you saying that I'm overwhelmed, disheveled in appearance, and even buying clothes, suggesting I pay more attention to myself. In the past, I would have been moved to tears by your care and attention, but now it brings tears of pain because I realize I'm no longer the beautiful or tidy wife in your eyes. Every woman wants to feel beautiful and wants to beautify herself, and I am no exception. However, I no longer have time for myself, dear husband. From morning till night, I only focus on the child, then household chores, cooking, cleaning, and laundry. Where is the time for me to pay attention to myself?
As a woman, happiness and sacredness unfold in motherhood. To give birth, I, like all sisters in this world, have sacrificed and embraced numerous hardships, dear husband. I've temporarily set aside my passion and, more importantly, traded both my time and youthful radiance. So, if I have a supportive, caring, and loving husband by my side, the happiness will be immeasurable. In such a scenario, I won't fear looking unkempt, facing difficulties, or enduring pain to become a mother. My only fear is being neglected or criticized by my husband.
Did you know, dear husband, since giving birth, I dare not look at myself in the mirror or wear any of my favorite body-hugging dresses? For the past 4 months, I've been wearing loose clothes, tied my hair into a messy bun, my eyes are tired, my complexion is dull, and this bulky figure of over 60 kilograms... until now, I can't accept that this is the same girl. I'm always anxious and afraid, scared to face the truth that I'm overweight, unattractive, and not well-groomed. My greatest fear is that you might be like other men who take advantage of their wives being busy with the newborn to get involved with someone else.
Unexpectedly, the toll on a mother's body during childbirth is immense
During natural childbirth, a mother has to endure up to 57 units of pain, equivalent to experiencing the simultaneous fracture of about 20 bones. In contrast, the father's body can only handle a maximum of 45 units of pain.
Darling, please don't be like that because postpartum women like me are very fragile. I will collapse, perhaps not survive if you, my husband, act like those men. Above all, I don't want my mind to be filled with confusing thoughts, baseless jealousy, or to have a heavy heart just to interrogate you about trivial matters. And, most importantly, I don't want to abandon our child to follow you every step of the way. More than anything else, I don't want to lose you, the person I love dearly.
Right now, though I feel insecure about my bulky and colossal body, I don't deserve to stand next to you – a man full of elegance and charm. But if I have a husband who shares, cares, and encourages me to believe that I will soon return to my former self, it makes all the difference.
Give me more time, dear husband! Don't get angry, don't be upset, and don't be too quick to be disappointed because postpartum women like me are fragile and extremely sensitive.
The Radiant Wife
Source: Emdep
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