Buzz
Son, tomorrow is your wedding day. Today, seizing this opportunity, in the role of a man, Dad wants to share with you some insights he has about marriage, hoping you'll encounter fewer troubles.
Never treat your wife as family
Some say that after marriage, you become one family, but Dad wants to tell you that no matter how long you've been married, only your parents and your children are truly family, while your wife will always be your beloved. A marriage must be built on the foundation of love to ensure lasting happiness.
My wife, absolutely not family nor flesh and blood of mine. I can argue with my parents because even if they're angry, I'm still their child, unbreakable and irreplaceable. But not with my wife. The relationship between me and my wife is a fair one; if I err against her, she can leave me anytime. Marriages that treat love as kinship belong to the lazy, unwilling to strive for equality, unwilling to give too much.
Do you know, after getting married, my parents made a small rule at home that the toilet must always be closed. Because my parents love each other, they just want to show their best appearance to each other. This is fairness, this is effort. Don't think marriage is the end of everything; once the game is over, you can do whatever you want.
Some say that after marriage, you become one family, but I want to tell you that no matter how long you've been married, only your parents and your children are truly family, while your wife will always be your beloved. A marriage must be built on the foundation of love to ensure lasting happiness.
Dad remembers director Ly An once said a very touching passage.
During an interview, Ly An was asked, “What is the greatest feeling of happiness for you?” Ly An replied: “If my wife can smile at me, I can feel a bit more relaxed, that's when I feel truly happy. I may be a father, a teacher to others, but it doesn't mean I can automatically earn their respect. Every day, if I want to be respected, I still have to strive to meet certain standards. Because of this reason, I dare not slack off, not even for a second.”
Dad believes that his son can surely earn respect from his wife. Listen closely, son, actually, marriage is quite troublesome, and it's not as beautiful as we imagine. You know, lately, Dad has been good at using his phone, browsing the internet, reading the news a lot. Dad found this passage extremely profound and wants to share it with you:
“What is the meaning of marriage? It's not about making you happy every day, feeling love every minute. Sometimes, marriage can even be contradictory, it's like a tight rope binding your hands and feet, forcing you into a pile of moral principles regarding how to treat others, making you tired, making you doubt everything in the end.”
The true value of marriage is most evident when life falls into darkness: In your loneliest moments, there will be someone by your side, listening to your complaints, cheering you on to overcome. In your emptiest heart, there will be a gentle gaze that makes you feel like you need to change. And when you fail, fall flat on the ground, there will still be a door ready to open for you. The person behind that door not only doesn't blame you, doesn't criticize you, but also tries to soothe your wounds, feels hurt for the pain you have endured.
Parents could do the same, but unfortunately, their understanding for you isn't as profound, and they can't stay by your side as long. You know, one day, your parents will also leave you, and then beside you, there will only be your wife and you building your family. That's why getting married, putting effort into that marriage is crucial. This is also what Dad wants to tell you: Treating your wife well is the most important matter in a man's life.
Being a wife is the toughest job in the world
When you were young, due to busy work, Dad rarely came home. Everything in the house, from taking care of grandparents, your studies, to household chores like paying bills, visiting relatives and neighbors, all fell on Mom's shoulders. At that time, Dad thought it was normal, whose home didn't follow the principle of 'men build houses, women build homes' like that? Moreover, with just housework and looking after you, what's so difficult?
Until one day, when your grandmother fell ill, Mom had to go take care of her. That's when Dad had to come home early every day, cook for you, struggle for hours to prepare a few dishes, then clean up, and supervise your studies. That was also the time when you were most unruly, wanting to play all day. Just supervising your studies tired Dad out, sometimes he felt like using the cane on you.
Dad emphasized once more, never preach morality to your wife at home, home isn't a place for lectures. Look at Dad, whenever Mom speaks, everything becomes absolute truth, Mom is the greatest.
Two weeks passed, Dad looked disheveled like returning from a battlefield. Dirty clothes piled high like mountains in the house, the floor, chairs, everywhere covered in dust. Every day, after attending to you, Dad felt exhausted to death. Many mornings he couldn't get up, making you late for school. Do you remember, how miserable those times were for both of us? From then on, Dad understood how hard Mom had worked.
So, in the future, if you come home tired, I hope you can ask your wife if she needs any help. Girls from other families don't marry you to become your maid. You love each other, marry each other out of respect, empathy for each other's hardships, always be grateful and strive together, only then can you walk through life together.
Dad emphasized once more, never preach morality to your wife at home, home isn't a place for lectures. Look at Dad, whenever Mom speaks, everything becomes absolute truth, Mom is the greatest.
A good man treats his wife well to succeed
Actually, our family has faced many major setbacks. Dad resigned to start a business, but due to lack of experience, he was deceived, not only had to compensate but also owed a lot of money. We had to sell our old house, move to a smaller one, life became difficult, and we were always afraid of creditors knocking on the door. Relatives and friends also gradually distanced themselves. Dad felt utterly helpless like a deserted island at that time.
Dad suggested divorcing Mom to protect us from the impact. But Mom said, 'How can a family be separated like that, dear?'
So Mom did something that Dad still admires when looking back - she went to demand payment from each customer who owed money. Despite being turned away repeatedly, Dad urged Mom to give up, but she remained steadfast. Later on, Mom successfully recovered a substantial amount. Subsequently, our family bounced back. That's why Dad always tells you, in our family, Mom is the greatest. Dad and I owe Mom a lot.
When a man encounters difficulties, only his wife can stand by him, help him, sacrifice for him, support him, only his wife.
There's a saying: A wife is the highest Feng Shui in the house. Because if a man comes home, facing pressure and chaos, it will inevitably affect his mood.
Do you remember Uncle Tuan from Dad's company? You used to say you didn't like him because he always got argumentative when he drank. He used to be very successful, good at making money, treating people warmly, having many friends, being filial to his parents. The only thing was, he was very cold towards his wife, always feeling she lacked education and knowledge.
Every time we went to his house for dinner, his wife was always busy, not able to sit down at the table properly, yet he would scold her for being slow. Because he was not comfortable at home, it affected his work, and he was declining day by day. Now he drinks more often, and every time he does, he complains about his talent being wasted and blames his wife for his lack of success. Actually, Dad thinks his problems stem from himself.
His wife is an extremely gentle woman. Both of his elderly in-laws, one paralyzed, the other senile, are taken care of by her. Their two children excel in top universities, sharp and bright. Even the neighbors in the countryside, all won over by her charm, have extended their affection to Uncle Tuan. But Uncle Tuan fails to see any of this, and even if he does, he deems it worthless.
There's a saying: A wife is the highest Feng Shui in the house. Because if a man comes home, facing pressure and chaos, it will inevitably affect his mood.
I hope you can become a good father.
Mom and Dad want to make it clear that we're not pressuring you to have children soon, and even if you don't want to, that's okay because we understand the current values are not like they used to be. But if you decide to have children, Dad hopes you understand that the influence of a father on his children is often greater than that of a mother. Dad doesn't want you to just be a father; he expects you to be a role model for your children.
Dad doesn't want you to just be a father; he expects you to be a role model for your children.
Your children will learn from you, they'll emulate you, your values will become their values. If you hope for your future children to be upright and kind, then you must live your life accordingly. If you aspire for them to be well-educated, then you must never forsake learning. If you wish for them to be healthy and strong, then you must prioritize physical activity and sports.
Today might be the first and last time Dad gets so sentimental like this. Mom's asking me to wash the vegetables now, so I won't say more. Wishing you find a beautiful, gentle wife who cares for the family like your mother.
Dad believes that the person you've chosen won't disappoint you, so treat them well.
My dear son.
Posted by: Nhat Nguyen
Keywords: Father's advice to his son: 'never treat your wife as a stranger'
