Buzz
When you’ve been married for a while, it’s easy to fall into a routine. But if your marriage is starting to feel a bit dull, don’t worry—it’s never too late to inject some excitement back into it! In this article, we’ll guide you through some proven methods to bring back the joy in your marriage.
This piece is inspired by insights from our expert dating coach and matchmaker, Laura Bilotta. Read the full interview here.
Steps
Schedule a weekly date night.
Dating is an essential element of a thriving relationship. Don’t let it slip away after marriage! If weekly dates seem too much, aim for once a month—just ensure it becomes a regular occurrence.
- Take the effort to dress up for your dates, and encourage your partner to do the same. Keep the spark alive by continually trying to impress each other.
- When you’re together, put away distractions like your phone. Focus on deepening your connection and enjoying genuine quality time together.
- Date nights don’t need to be extravagant. If going out isn’t feasible, consider a cozy night in. Have a candlelit dinner on your patio or balcony, or sway to romantic tunes in your living room.
Keep the Flirting Alive.
Remind your husband that he still lights up your world. Drop him sweet notes, blow him kisses, or compliment his assets. Express your affection freely! He’ll feel valued, and it might inspire him to reciprocate.
- Flirting isn’t just enjoyable—it has numerous benefits for married couples. It boosts confidence, eases tension, and deepens intimacy.
- Infuse creativity into your flirtatious gestures. Consider curating a playlist of his beloved love songs, leaving a box of chocolates on his pillow, or sending a steamy text (even if he’s beside you).
Add Some Playfulness into the Mix.
Humor is the secret sauce of a thriving relationship. Amidst the chaos of daily life, it’s crucial to let loose and be silly. Research indicates that couples who engage in playful activities together feel more at ease and secure.
- Every couple has their unique way of being playful. Whether it’s sharing an inside joke, speaking in funny voices for your pets, or sneaking fries from your husband’s plate when he’s not looking.
- Most men appreciate when you laugh at their jokes. So, the next time your spouse cracks a joke or says something amusing, let yourself burst into laughter!
Break the Monotony.
Breaking free from monotony can be challenging. Make a conscious effort to explore new experiences together. This could range from trying a different breakfast recipe to embarking on an impromptu weekend getaway. Embrace variety to inject excitement and joy into your marriage!
- Routines and traditions are valuable in a marriage, but seek opportunities to diversify them. For example, if you typically have a weekly game night, introduce new games occasionally to keep things fresh.
Keep the Element of Surprise Alive.
Infuse your relationship with a dash of unpredictability. Simple surprises can be immensely enjoyable. Surprise your husband with a small gift 'just because,' and leave it somewhere for him to discover. Alternatively, bring him his favorite coffee without prompting. Or, arrange a date without revealing the destination—maintain the suspense until you arrive! Once you initiate surprises, he might reciprocate. Here are a few other delightful ideas to consider:
- Throw a surprise party for him and invite his closest friends.
- Send flowers or a special treat to his workplace.
- Prepare his favorite 'special occasion' meal, even in the absence of an occasion.
Explore New Frontiers in the Bedroom.
Sexual intimacy is a fantastic way to strengthen your bond and have fun. If your sex life feels routine, don't hesitate to take charge and introduce novelty. Encourage experimentation with new positions, toys, or shared fantasies.
- If there's something you're curious about, don't hesitate to communicate it. Discussing sex might feel awkward initially, but open dialogue is essential for a fulfilling sex life.
- Occasionally initiate intimacy yourself if you're not usually the first to do so. It will likely surprise and delight him!
- Surprise him by donning sexy lingerie or trying out a new fragrance.
Connect through Non-Sexual Touch.
Physical closeness doesn’t always have to lead to sex. Any form of affectionate touch can inject fun and romance into your marriage. This could range from holding hands during a stroll to indulging in a passionate make-out session. You can also:
- Surprise him with a soothing foot or back massage
- Playfully engage in footsie under the table
- Cultivate a habit of giving spontaneous hugs and kisses
- Experiment with various types of kisses. A gentle peck on the back of the neck or forehead can evoke just as much tenderness and romance as a kiss on the lips!
Reflect on Fond Memories Together.
Revisiting cherished memories can reignite the spark of love. Recollect and reminisce about enjoyable experiences, or browse through an old photo album as a couple. You might even collaborate on compiling a montage of nostalgic videos from your early dating days to surprise him with.
- Revisit the emotions associated with those moments. Reminisce together, saying something like, “Remember when we took that trip to the lake near your parents’ house and ended up falling off the dock? We laughed so hard!”
- By recalling exciting activities you once shared, you may feel inspired to recreate the joy. For example, if you used to host weekly poker nights with friends, consider reviving the tradition.
Discover Mutual Enjoyable Pursuits.
