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NURTURING AND TEACHING
Truly, nurturing and teaching a child from birth to adulthood is not just an incredibly long and challenging process; it is more accurately described as a magical journey for parents. While 'nurturing' may seem easy, 'teaching' proves to be quite challenging. It demands from parents a heart of forgiveness, patience, and a love for their children greater than for themselves.
When it comes to teaching children, there are indeed various approaches. In the first part of the 'Growing Up Together' series, let's explore some typical styles of parenting.
The 'Autocratic' Style
This parenting style involves dictating to the child, saying things like 'I forbid you from stepping out of the house' or 'Oh my, you asked to go out at 7 am, and now it's... 7:30, and you haven't returned. This time, you're grounded immediately.'...
Let me explain it this way! Using scolding and physical punishment might temporarily restrain your child, preventing them from mingling with bad influences or avoiding tobacco and alcohol. But that's just temporary. Firstly, a person's ability to resist temptations or negative habits fundamentally comes from their own consciousness. Secondly, you can completely forbid your child from stepping out after school or leaving the house after 7 PM, but can you truly understand that if they want to misbehave, they can do so anytime? Do they need the clock to strike 7 PM to smoke or engage in risky activities before 7 PM? Can't they smoke or gather for racing before 7 PM?
The 'My Child is a Treasure' Style
'Let the toys be, Mom will clean everything up'; 'Oh dear, my child is bleeding... the little finger, oh my goodness' – these are the phrases of parents who follow this parenting style.
Without saying it, everyone knows that for parents, their children are nothing less than the most precious treasures in their lives. However, if you excessively pamper and protect them, the consequences can be difficult to predict. Children may tend to rely on their parents, struggle to become independent, and even develop arrogant and rebellious tendencies that are challenging to discipline later on.
So, what is the right approach?
According to Dr. Nguyen Hoang Khac Hieu (Department of Educational Psychology, University of Education, Ho Chi Minh City): 'Strict prohibition is a sign of helplessness. Neglect and indifference are signs of irresponsibility. Excessive pampering is a sign of teaching children to be 'weak.' If we've made our children 'misbehave,' then we can also teach them to be good. Put yourself in the shoes of your child to feel the results or consequences of your actions. If parents can 'walk in their children's shoes,' then those children can truly be happy.'
Exactly, parents, refrain from imposing on your children, yet don't be overly lenient either. Put yourself in their shoes to understand, share, and grow alongside your child.
