Buzz
Funny drunk stories compile 18 humorous tales about drinking, getting drunk, bringing you moments of relaxation and joy. Let's read and share these amusing stories with others to collectively unwind and derive profound life lessons.
Humorous Tales of Drinking and Getting Drunk
Here is a collection of the funniest and most humorous drunk jokes. Feel free to check them out.
Funny Drunk Stories, Outrageous Jokes
1. The Truly Lucky Story
Bob is completely wasted. He comes home and knocks on the door:
- Oh, Bob! You're back?
- Yes, my dear, ran into an old friend.
- !?
- I drank away my entire month's salary.
- Oh, I see.
- The car got impounded too...
- Naturally.
- Oh, you're truly the gentlest woman in the world. Um... Yeah... it seems I accidentally gave the necklace you gave me yesterday to another girl.
- Dear Lord, I'm so lucky!
- Why, were you going to say you're very pleased?
- Yes, because I'm just... your neighbor. Be brave, it's only a few steps more. May God be with you!
2. Drunk Joke: Mix-Up
In a bar in Alaska, a cowboy who just arrived asks the bar owner:
- How can I become an Alaskan?
3. Funny Story: Right Away
There's a knock on the door, and the homeowner rushes to open it:
- Hey there, come on in. What do you need?
- My dad wants to borrow your bottle opener.
- His eyes light up: Bottle opener! Go home and tell your dad to prepare another glass; I'll... personally bring it right away now.
4. Humorous Tale: What's That Face?
Two intoxicated guys are chatting on their way home:
- Beautiful, look at the moon!
- No way! That's the sun!
- They argue until they encounter someone coming the other way. One of them asks: Hey, buddy, tell us, is that shining thing up there the sun or the moon?
The other person looks up, furrows his brow, and says:
- Fool! It's a streetlight, not anything else!!!
5. Drunk Joke
Two drunken men are walking on the street, and suddenly one says to the other: 'Hey, try to smile; we're about to pass by the police station.' A while later, the same person says: 'Forget it, no need to smile anymore; we're already inside the station.'
6. Vintage Beer Tale
Far from the beer, dusk falls, yet the heart feels melancholy, remembering so much, longing to be near the beer barrel, to drink abundantly... what's that?
In short, it's about that beer, oh wait, is it really beer? But why is the absence of beer so tempting...oh, so tempting!
Unable to be by the beer, the heart is sad and lonely, hoping that we keep drinking without getting drunk, hoping that no matter how much beer we drink, it never diminishes. It's like missing beer a lot, wishing not to be far...
My love, I want to drink with you until morning, nobody leaves, we stay together until the end of this night... so tempting, so tempting...so tempting...
7. Amusing Story: The Reason for Begging
A passerby asked a beggar: 'Why are you begging?''
- So I can get money to buy alcohol.
- Why do you drink alcohol then?
- So I can gather the courage to beg.
- !!!!!
8. Tale: The New Genius
Dad tells his son:
- Take this bottle and go buy a bottle of wine.
- Where's the money to buy it, dad?
- Without money, how can you buy the new genius?
- A while later, the son returns without the bottle. Dad asks: Where's the wine, son?
- No wine, still can drink, that's the new genius.
9. Fun Story: Not Knowing Who You Are
Three drunken men stumble home together. Arriving at the door of a house, one guy knocks and shouts: 'Is Mr. Tu here?'.
A woman's voice answers:
- Yes.
- Ma'am... who are you?
- I'm Mr. Tu's wife.
- Alright, please come out and see who Mr. Tu is, bring him in so the rest can go home too...
Truyện hài hay
10. Tale: Adding One More Bridge for Safety
Two heavily drunk pals stumble along the road. Reaching the riverbank, suddenly someone exclaims:
- Well, darn it! The bridge is now two, one wrong step on the 'illusory' bridge, and you'll take a plunge!
- Maybe because I just crafted one bottle a while ago, that's why it turned into two bridges. Or perhaps if I make one more bottle, I guarantee one bridge will become three. Then we just go through the middle one for the safest bet!
- Haha, logical indeed... logical indeed!
11. Joke: Worse Than Dropping
A disheveled guy stumbles into a bar and asks:
- Was I here last night?
- Indeed you were!
- How much did I spend?
- Around 80 pounds.
- Thank God! I thought I lost that amount somewhere.
12. Hilarious Tale: Not a Local
Two tipsy fellows meet, one points to the sky and asks the other:
- Sir, is that the moon or the sun up there?
- Sir, I'm sorry, I'm not a local, so I'm not sure.
13. Funny Tale: Soberness Strategy
Just after the New Year's drinking session with friends, the husband, staggering, decides to go straight into the house. Hoping to appear sober, he sits down and starts reading a book. A few minutes later, his wife enters and asks:
- What are you doing?
- Reading a book.
- His wife screams: You crazy person! Pack your bags and go to sleep!
14. Hilarious Tale: Moon or Sun?
Two intoxicated guys are chatting on their way home:
- Wow, look at the moon!
- No way! That's the sun!
- They argue until they encounter a stumbling person walking in the opposite direction. One asks: Hey buddy, can you tell us if the bright thing up there is the sun or the moon?
- The person looks up at the sky attentively and then furrows their brow, asking back: Excuse me, were you referring to the left or the right one?
15. Joke: The Two Guys
On the national highway, two young guys on a motorcycle are speeding like crazy when a traffic cop runs out, blowing his whistle to stop them. One of the two speaks up, sounding nervous:
- Uh... Hello... esteemed officers... police!
- Please... four comrades... civilians form a... single line... - The police officer replies.
16. Humorous Tale: Forest Fire Scene
A heavily intoxicated husband stumbles into the house, flops down on the beanbag, and gazes intently at the TV. After a long while, he grumbles:
- What movie keeps showing the same forest fire scene?
- The wife retorts: Just take it easy on the drinks; the TV's been sold, and all that's left is the heater over there!
17. Humorous Tale: Talking on Bended Knees
Two drinking buddies engage in conversation:
- Lately, aren't you afraid of your wife nagging when you go drinking?
- Oh God, my wife scares me plenty.
- So, you've got the guts just like me. You know, when I return from a drinking session, my wife has to kneel down to talk to me.
- Well, then you're surpassing me. Teach me your ways.
- Easy-peasy, when I come home after drinking, I crawl under the bed...
18. Hilarious Drunk Tale: Unorthodox Urination
There's a guy, intoxicated, urinating at a spot with a sign: 'No Urination Allowed.'
A police officer passing by rushes over and scolds:
- Why are you urinating here?
The guy replies:
- I'm Chinese, so I read from right to left. I thought the sign up there said 'Urination allowed.'
Another joke:
=>Modern Jokes
=>Collection of Humorous Stories
=>Absurd Jokes
Check out the details of November 20th jokes to make Vietnamese Teachers' Day joyful and full of laughter.
If you're looking for entertainment, relaxation, and want to create moments of joy for everyone, let's try these hilarious, tipsy stories here. Alongside the laughter, these jokes also carry valuable lessons for everyone. Read and ponder together.
