How to Avoid Being Obsessive in Your Relationship with a Guy

Cultivate your own social circle. Don't be the person who neglects their friends when in a relationship. In case things don't work out, you'll need your friends for support afterward. Moreover, individuals who maintain their own social lives are more attractive to potential partners. Show him that you have a life beyond him by nurturing your friendships and engaging in activities with others. This will naturally make him want to spend more time with you.

Have plans independent of him. Nothing captivates a guy more than a girl who has her own life. Don't be at his beck and call every moment. Make plans with friends and pursue your interests. This independence is what initially attracted him to you.

Avoid waiting around for his call. It's unattractive for a guy to know you're at home anticipating his call. It can come across as needy. If you prefer staying home, that's fine, but don't wait for his call as if your evening depends on it. If he might call, carry on with your plans and let him reach you on your cell. This way, you won't waste time waiting, and he won't feel pressured.

Assert yourself. Assertiveness is an appealing trait involving setting healthy boundaries and standing by your expectations. Have a clear sense of what you want and take steps to pursue it. While it's fine to be accommodating, ensure you maintain your own opinions to prevent being taken advantage of.

Take charge of your decisions. Even in a committed relationship, you retain control over your life. You have the autonomy to make decisions, whether trivial like choosing where to dine or significant like selecting a college. Own your choices and avoid revolving them around another person.

Respect his time. Remember, he has a life and needs just like you do. Consider his schedule before reaching out, especially late at night. Think about how you'd feel if roles were reversed. If it's urgent, like a family emergency, leave a message and give him space to respond. Bombarding him with calls or texts will only irritate him and may come off as obsessive.

Avoid assumptions and accusations. Be mindful and refrain from jumping to conclusions. Instead of assuming the worst, remind him of the reasons he chose to be with you in the first place. Remember, both of you interact with others, so trust is key. Confronting without evidence can damage trust and lead to unnecessary conflict.

Respect his independence. You both had lives before meeting, which attracted you to each other. Don't expect him to sacrifice everything for you. Encourage him to spend time with friends and pursue his interests. Healthy relationships allow for individual space and interests.

Respect his privacy. Trust is essential in a relationship. Snooping undermines that trust and can be perceived as obsessive. Once you start, it's hard to stop, leading to a destructive cycle. Avoid invading his privacy by snooping through his phone, social media, or private messages, no matter how tempting it may be.

Avoid centering everything around him. Refrain from plastering his image everywhere or surrounding yourself with mementos of him. Be authentic—pursue your own passions and hobbies instead of blindly adopting his interests.

Engage in activities you enjoy. Whether it's joining a school sports team or rediscovering your love for cross-stitching, indulge in activities that bring you joy. Rekindle your passion for old hobbies and explore new ones independent of your relationship.

Release the pressure on the relationship. Trust that if it's meant to be, it will unfold naturally. Obsessing over every detail won't secure his love and might even push him away. Accept that you can't control everything and allow relationships to evolve organically, leading to deeper and more fulfilling connections.

Distract yourself from obsessive thoughts. When intrusive thoughts about him arise, resist indulging in them. Engage in activities to divert your attention, such as calling a friend or tackling your homework. Refrain from dwelling on negative thoughts, as this only fosters unhappiness and reinforces the habit of obsession.