How to Encourage Adult Children to Contribute Financially

Buzz

Content

Steps

Not quite ready to evict your grown-up kids from the family home, but frustrated with their lack of financial contribution? This guide offers practical strategies to make household finances more equitable while also encouraging them to take on more responsibilities around the house.

Steps

Discuss Rent Contributions

Allocate Household Chores Fairly

PRO TIP

Anna Svetchnikov

Anna Svetchnikov
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist

Teaching accountability through responsibilities

Anticipate pushback and counter with concrete evidence.

Conquer guilt. If your adult children reside with you, it's likely because you wish to support them; perhaps they've encountered challenges, and most probably, you relish having them close. Demanding contributions may evoke feelings of guilt, particularly if you perceive your child as being in a tough spot. When confronted with this, remember the following:

Shielding them from life's harsh realities does them no favors. Your parental duty is to instill in them the skills to become self-reliant adults capable of thriving on their own. Encouraging them to shoulder their responsibilities in your home teaches them the value of accountability. It's preferable for them to learn these lessons from you rather than facing dismissal from a job or the dissolution of a marriage.
You're not alone in grappling with these dilemmas. Adult children returning home are dubbed 'mammoni,' or 'mama's boys' in Italy; 'parasaito shinguru,' or 'parasite singles' in Japan; 'boomerangs' or 'twixters' in the US; 'KIPPERS' (short for 'kids in parents' pockets eroding retirement savings') in the UK; and 'Hotel Mama' in Germany. Parents worldwide empathize with your struggle to dispense tough love.

Express gratitude. When your adult children begin contributing more, express your heartfelt appreciation for their role in the household and family, and thank them. Occasionally, you might need to cut them some slack during periods of unemployment or while saving for significant expenses like travel. You'll discern the necessity for this as situations arise.

Tips

Set aside the rental income in a designated savings account. This fund can serve as a safety net for unforeseen circumstances, a vacation fund, or even as assistance for their future education or during challenging times.
Opt for shared transportation whenever feasible and encourage the use of public transit and bicycles among family members. By minimizing the need for multiple vehicles, everyone benefits from reduced fuel and maintenance expenses and promotes healthier habits like walking or cycling.
If you're fortunate enough to have a child living independently, enlist their help in elucidating the realities of life to the sibling who relies excessively on you. The sibling who holds a job and manages bills and expenses will not hesitate to impart the realities of the real world.

Warnings

Consider the valuable contributions your children might already be making that could potentially save you money. These may include services such as chauffeuring, companionship, gardening, dog walking, personal shopping, and caregiving. Remember, every relationship is reciprocal. If you treat them unfairly, they might opt to allocate their hard-earned money elsewhere or seek alternative living arrangements. In such instances, you'd have to pay for these services, and they certainly don't come cheap. If you reduce a relationship solely to financial terms, don't expect anything for free that you're not willing to provide freely. Make sure to evaluate both sides of the equation before making decisions.

Essentials

Budget
Written agreement
Evidence of expenses (such as bills, rental rates from newspapers, internet examples of living costs, etc.)
Patience

The content is developed by the Mytour team with the aim of customer care and solely to inspire travel experiences. We do not take responsibility for or provide advice for other purposes.

If you find this article inappropriate or containing errors, please contact us via email at [email protected]

Frequently Asked Questions

What are effective strategies for discussing rent contributions with adult children?

To discuss rent contributions effectively, have an open conversation about household finances, set clear expectations, and provide evidence of living costs. Encourage accountability by explaining how contributing can foster their independence.

How can parents encourage adult children to take on household responsibilities?

Parents can encourage adult children to assume household responsibilities by allocating chores fairly and expressing gratitude for their contributions. This teaches accountability and instills the skills necessary for self-reliance.

What should I do if my adult child resists contributing financially?

If your adult child resists financial contributions, be prepared for pushback. Counter their objections with concrete evidence of expenses and emphasize the importance of learning to handle life's responsibilities for their future success.

How can rental income from adult children be managed wisely?

To manage rental income wisely, set it aside in a designated savings account. This can serve as a safety net for emergencies, a vacation fund, or financial assistance for their future educational needs.