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A memorial service typically takes place following a funeral, or sometimes instead of one. It can also serve as a way to commemorate the anniversary of the event leading to the individual's passing. Regardless of the occasion, a memorial service can provide comfort to the bereaved and serve as a tribute to the person's life. The following steps offer guidance on organizing a memorial service.
Guidelines
Preparation
Review the deceased's will. Before embarking on planning a memorial service for someone who has recently died, it's crucial to review their will (or consult with someone who has access to it if you don't).
- They might have outlined specific preferences for the service or explicitly stated their wish to forgo one entirely!
- Refer to this if you require assistance with will probate.
Decide on the type of service. After consulting the will, consider the preferences of the deceased and the family regarding the type of service. Each memorial service is unique and should reflect the individuality of the departed and their loved ones. Understanding the different types of services is crucial for effective planning. While no two services are identical, here are some common types:
- Funerals are typically held shortly after death, often allowing mourners to view the body. While they may not be strictly religious, funerals usually have religious elements and are suitable for those seeking a traditional service.
- Memorials can be scheduled at any time following a funeral, serving as a public event for those unable to attend the funeral or focusing on alternative aspects of remembrance. Some choose to have a memorial instead of a funeral. The body is not present at a memorial, providing space for remembrance and grieving.
- Life celebrations are modern memorial services that emphasize celebrating the life of the deceased rather than mourning. These events are lively, with humorous anecdotes and toasts in place of somber reflections. Like memorials, life celebrations do not involve the body of the deceased.
Assign tasks. Dealing with grief is challenging without the added responsibility of organizing a service. While there may be one person taking the lead, it's essential to delegate tasks to avoid overwhelming a single individual. Distribute responsibilities such as sending invitations and booking the venue.
- By sharing tasks, no one person bears the full burden, allowing everyone to properly grieve. It also ensures that everyone has the opportunity to contribute, similar to the tradition of each person symbolically contributing to burying a loved one.
- Considering the potential financial strain of funerals and memorial services, it's crucial to distribute the financial responsibility among multiple parties.
Organization
Set the date and time. When planning a memorial service, choose a date that accommodates out-of-town family members. Select a date close to the funeral or anniversary event to facilitate attendance and encourage the sharing of memories.
Select a venue. Ensure that the chosen location for the memorial service can accommodate the expected number of attendees.
- Determine the necessary seating and table arrangements based on RSVPs and catering needs.
- Provide a podium for a guestbook and consider the preferences of the deceased regarding the venue's religious or nonreligious nature.
Create a guest list and send out the invites. Stay organized during memorial service planning by compiling a list of the deceased's friends and loved ones to send invitations. This ensures you don't overlook anyone important and helps with arranging accommodations for out-of-town guests.
- You might need to assist with booking local hotels for out-of-town guests or consider offering accommodation at home.
- Incorporate floral arrangements with their favorite flowers or colors and curate a playlist featuring their favorite songs or genres.
- Consider adding other meaningful mementos that capture the essence of their life.
Seek input from loved ones. Consult friends and family members of the deceased for ideas on special touches that will honor their memory best. Their insights into songs, colors, decorations, and mementos, as well as assistance with photos and keepsakes, will help create a heartfelt memorial.
Organize guest speakers. Guest speakers often play a significant role in memorial services, offering personal insights into the life and legacy of the departed.
- Reach out to potential speakers well in advance to confirm their availability and provide time for preparation.
- Inquire about any specific requirements they may have, such as audiovisual equipment or readings they prefer.
- You might also suggest readings that resonate with the personality of the deceased.
Consider recording the service. Many wish to preserve memories of the memorial service by hiring professional videographers or photographers.
- You can find recording professionals through platforms like Yelp, Angie's List, or Craigslist.
- Alternatively, a family member or friend may volunteer to document the service.
Following Through
Share an obituary. As the service approaches or afterward, consider sharing an obituary for the departed. Many find solace in commemorating their loved one in this way.
- An obituary also serves as a means to inform the public about the passing and details of the memorial service, particularly to acquaintances unknown to the family.
- Contact your preferred newspaper via phone or email to initiate the obituary publication process.
- If publishing post-service, include a line stating, 'Services were privately held with the family.'
Create tangible keepsakes. Providing physical mementos can aid in the grieving process, offering tangible reminders of the departed.
- Set up a blank poster at the service for guests to share written condolences and memories.
- Utilize websites like Tributes.com to compile photos and tributes from mourners.
- Encourage guests to bring small items symbolizing memories of the deceased, such as photos or meaningful gifts.
Produce a tribute. Whether through writing, music, visual arts, or other mediums, creating a tribute can be a meaningful way to honor the deceased. Alternatively, reciting a favorite poem or passage by the departed's beloved author is a heartfelt tribute.
References
- ↑ http://www.dsfda.org/Funerals-and-Memorial-Services.html
- ↑ https://www.legalzoom.com/articles/how-to-get-a-copy-of-a-will
- ↑ https://www.loveliveson.com/an-ultimate-guide-to-5-types-of-funeral-ceremonies/
- ↑ https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0302-types-funerals
- ↑ David I. Jacobson. Funeral Home Director. Expert Interview. 14 July 2020.
- ↑ http://www.sevenponds.com/after-death/planning-a-funeral-or-memorial-service/
- ↑ https://funerals.org/?consumers=planning-memorial-service
- ↑ https://www.architecturaldigest.com/story/3-pro-florists-arrangements-you-can-do-at-home
- ↑ https://www.chicagotribune.com/chi-placeanobit-story.html
- ↑ David I. Jacobson. Funeral Home Director. Expert Interview. 14 July 2020.
Suggestions
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Take your time during the planning process, and ensure you don't bear the entire burden alone. Remember to allow yourself time to grieve.
