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Experiencing being stalked can be a terrifying ordeal, leaving one feeling vulnerable and helpless. Statistics show that about 1 in 4 women and 1 in 13 men in the United States encounter stalking during their lifetimes, often by someone familiar. If you suspect you're being stalked, there are measures you can take to ensure your safety and gather evidence against the perpetrator. Always remember to call 911 if you're in immediate danger or being followed.
Steps
Cutting Off Communication
Avoid interacting with the stalker. By responding, you inadvertently give the stalker a sense of power over you. Refrain from reacting in any way, including asking them to stop contacting you. Ignoring them is crucial.
- Do not reply to their messages, emails, or online comments. Instead, keep records of all communication as evidence.
- If you encounter the stalker, try to maintain a neutral demeanor. They seek your reaction to validate their control. While staying composed is ideal, don't blame yourself if you can't. Their behavior is not your responsibility.
Take all threats seriously. If the stalker has made any threats to harm you, whether direct or indirect, it's crucial to treat them seriously. Contact law enforcement immediately and ensure your safety.
- Once you're safe, document and report all details of the threat.
- Some stalkers may threaten self-harm to manipulate you, especially if you have a history with them. In such cases, notify law enforcement and avoid falling victim to manipulation.
Secure your technology. If your stalker had access to your devices, it's essential to replace them to prevent any spyware or tracking devices. Obtain new phone numbers and email addresses.
- Inform your close contacts about the change, emphasizing the need for confidentiality due to ongoing harassment and stalking.
- Change passwords for all your online accounts, including banking and shopping platforms.
- You may keep your old devices active for evidence gathering, but ensure any relevant information is shared with law enforcement.
Seeking Support From Loved Ones
Inform others about your situation. Sharing your experience of being stalked with trusted individuals is vital. They can offer support and help keep you safe by being vigilant.
- Share your concerns with family, friends, colleagues, and authority figures in your community.
- Consider informing school or workplace authorities about your situation for added protection.
- Provide descriptions or photos of the stalker to those you trust, instructing them to notify authorities if they spot the individual.
Manage social media privacy. Request your friends not to disclose your location or share photos of you online. You may also consider limiting your social media usage or deleting your account.
- Be cautious as stalkers might use your social media activity to track you and gather information about your daily life.
- If you're aware of the stalker's online presence, block them from accessing your social media accounts.
Create a safety plan. Develop a strategy that you can quickly implement if you sense danger. This plan might involve identifying a safe location, keeping essential documents and contacts handy, or signaling for help in emergencies.
- Consider preparing an emergency kit with vital documents and supplies for quick departure if needed.
- Inform trusted individuals of a code word or phrase indicating danger, allowing them to alert emergency services on your behalf.
- If you have children, educate them about safe places and people to approach if they feel threatened.
Ensuring Your Safety
Change your daily routine. Avoid predictable patterns by varying your schedule. Take different routes to work, alter your coffee stops, or shuffle your exercise class days.
Remain vigilant in public places. Stay attentive and avoid distractions like phones or headphones while out. Utilize the buddy system for added safety.
- Avoid walking alone at night and request company from friends.
- Ensure you have all your belongings with you and remain aware of your surroundings.
Avoid solo workouts. Opt for group activities at a gym or join running or biking groups. Exercise in well-lit, populated areas.
- Avoid using headphones and carry self-defense items like pepper spray.
- Find workout buddies for added security, such as training for races together.
Equip yourself with self-defense skills. Learning how to protect yourself during an assault can instill confidence and readiness. Additionally, enhance your situational awareness.
- Enroll in a self-defense course available at fitness centers, community hubs, universities, or local martial arts dojos.
- Carry a self-defense tool like pepper spray and acquaint yourself with its usage. Seek advice from law enforcement regarding recommended self-defense mechanisms.
Fortify your residence. Implement strategies to safeguard your home and ensure personal safety indoors. Inform reliable neighbors about your situation for added vigilance against suspicious activities. Protective measures may include:
- Maintaining locked doors and windows, even while at home, and keeping curtains drawn.
- Providing a spare key to a neighbor instead of concealing one on your premises.
- Installing security cameras or systems on your property.
Exercise caution when answering the door. Consider refraining from answering the door unless expecting visitors. Prioritize safety over politeness:
- Request friends or family to announce themselves by name or call upon arrival.
- Redirect deliveries to your workplace or a trusted acquaintance's residence if feasible.
- Verify the identification of service personnel before granting access to your property.
- Install a peephole if not already in place.
Gathering Evidence and Seeking Legal Recourse
Consult a victim advocate. Reach out to a crisis hotline to connect with professionals who can provide insights into stalking laws, safety strategies, and referral services. You can contact the Victim Connect Resource Center at 855-4-VICTIM.
Reach out to law enforcement. Your stalker might be violating anti-stalking regulations or engaging in other criminal activities such as property damage. Initiate contact with the police to explore your options. They will initiate an investigation and offer guidance on precautionary measures and the type of evidence that would aid them the most.
Secure a restraining order. If you can identify your stalker, pursue a restraining order, also referred to as an order of protection, against them. Seek advice from a law enforcement officer or your victim advocate regarding this matter.
Preserve all evidence. Capture and document any threatening communications such as texts, emails, or phone calls. Forward them to the designated police officer handling your case. Retain any items provided by the stalker and deliver them to law enforcement instead of discarding them.
- Take screenshots of online harassment to furnish to the police. Additionally, report the harassment to the website owner, who may assist you or law enforcement in tracking down the perpetrator's location.
- If you suspect property damage by the stalker, file a police report (for insurance purposes and as evidence) and photograph the damage.
Maintain an incident log. Chronicle each interaction with the stalker, noting the date, time, details of the encounter, and subsequent actions taken with law enforcement.
- If individuals in your circle regularly encounter the stalker, such as coworkers or roommates, ask if they would be willing to maintain their own incident log to bolster the evidence.
Recognizing Stalker Conduct
Listen to your intuition. If something feels off, don't dismiss it as an overreaction. Stalkers aim to instill fear in their victims, seeking control over them and their environment. If someone's persistent presence in your life is unsettling you, you might be dealing with a stalker.
- A stalker isn't just someone who bothers you repeatedly. It becomes stalking when their actions start to intimidate and disturb you.
Evaluate if you're being stalked. Familiarize yourself with the signs and behaviors typical of stalkers. Some common stalker behaviors include:
- Shadowing you (even if you're unaware)
- Frequent, unwanted calls, texts, or emails
- Appearing uninvited at your home, workplace, or school, or waiting for you outside these locations
- Leaving unsolicited gifts
- Causing damage to your property
Uncover the identity of the stalker. Often, stalkers are individuals known to the victim, such as ex-partners, acquaintances, or family members, although sometimes they are strangers.
- If you recognize the stalker, provide law enforcement with all available information, including electronic details like email addresses or usernames, and if possible, a photograph.
- If the stalker is unknown, discreetly attempt to capture a video or photograph. Note down license plate numbers and provide as detailed a description as you can.
