Unfortunately, it can be quite challenging to recover deleted text messages. If you suspect your spouse is concealing something, there are a few methods you can attempt, although most options require actions that may alert him. Time is crucial—the longer a message remains deleted, the less likely it is to be recovered. While it may not be pleasant, addressing your concerns directly could yield better results than snooping through his phone. Remember, you are resilient, and you will overcome this obstacle.
Procedures
Utilizing Android Tools

Access the Google Drive backup if available. The most reliable method to recover deleted messages on Android is by accessing the backup file via Google Drive. To do this, log into the Google Drive associated with your spouse’s account on a computer. Navigate to the backup folder for the desired date and open it to view any deleted texts.
- Be aware that this may be illegal in some jurisdictions. In certain states, snooping through someone’s private communications without consent can constitute a felony.
- If there are no backup files in Google Drive, the chances of recovering deleted texts are exceedingly low.
- To enable automatic backups in the future, access the Settings on your spouse’s phone, select “Connected Devices,” then “Backup,” and finally “Back up now.” Ensure that the SMS option is checked, and Google will back up any text messages on the phone.
- If you have a Google One subscription, you can configure it to automatically back up messages.

Utilize SMS Backup and Restore for an alternative backup method. SMS Backup and Restore offers a cost-free option for Android users seeking to safeguard text messages. Simply download the app on your spouse's phone and link the backup to your personal Google account. With this, you can back up his texts at your preferred frequency and access them whenever necessary.
- While many text recovery tools for Android come at a price, SMS Backup and Restore are completely free.
- Keep in mind, if he discovers the app on his phone, you might need to provide an explanation as it doesn't conceal itself.

Exercise extreme caution when considering third-party apps or software. Numerous apps and programs promise to recover deleted Android texts, but they often prove ineffective and may contain harmful software. Once a text is deleted on Android and the backup data is discarded, the information is irretrievable.
- If you're determined to give it a try, consider options like Android Data Recovery, Dr. Fone, Tenorshare UltData, or FonePaw. Although unlikely to recover anything, they offer free trials, providing peace of mind.
Recovering iPhone Backups

Ensure a backup file is available for restoration. Without a backup, accessing deleted texts on an iPhone is impossible. Fortunately, iCloud typically handles backups automatically. Verify the existence of a backup by accessing 'Settings' on his phone, then 'Apple ID,' 'iCloud,' 'Manage Storage,' and 'Backups.' This provides a list of available backup points.
- Before proceeding, consider the legality of accessing your husband's phone based on state laws.
- Restoring an iPhone to view deleted messages will likely alert your husband, so prepare an explanation if you choose this route.

Restore the iPhone using iCloud to retrieve old messages. Connect the phone to a computer and select 'Restore iPhone' from the desktop folder. Choose the desired backup point for restoration. Allow a few minutes for the phone to complete the restoration process from the selected backup point. Any texts present at that time will reappear in his inbox.

Utilize iTunes for backup restoration if iCloud isn't configured. Connect his phone to the computer and launch iTunes. Locate the phone in the sidebar, then opt for either 'Restore iPhone' or 'Restore Backup.' This action will wipe the phone's contents. Choose your backup point, and any messages present at that time will be restored.
- If you have macOS Catalina or newer, you can perform this using Finder. The process remains the same, but you'll access the phone menu in Finder instead of iTunes.

Exercise caution when considering third-party apps and software. Similar to Android, many third-party apps lack the capability to retrieve deleted messages. Moreover, they often contain malware or data-stealing functionalities. Nevertheless, if you're determined to explore these options, Dr. Fone, Enigma Recovery, PhoneRescue, and Tenorshare UltData are among the reputable choices. However, success rates for retrieving deleted texts are generally low.
Communicating with the Carrier

Reach out to your phone carrier to inquire about text message retrieval. Carriers retain text messages for a certain duration. While they may not readily provide access upon request, some may offer backup software for accessing recently deleted texts. While not guaranteed, it's worth exploring this avenue.
- Some carriers offer dedicated programs for retrieving deleted texts (e.g., Verizon).

Employ a parental control app to monitor his texts from your device. Parental control apps are designed to oversee children's phone usage. You could install one on his phone and link it to yours to monitor his activities. Although it doesn't allow access to deleted texts, it enables you to view future messages before they're deleted. Popular options include SecureTeen and TeenSafe.
- He's likely to discover this app on his phone, making it an unsuitable long-term solution.
- Keep in mind that doing this without consent may be illegal in many states and constitutes a breach of trust. It's advisable to refrain from such actions unless absolutely necessary.

Consider using a premium spy application if you're genuinely in need of long-term surveillance. Several applications can be installed on a person's device discreetly, providing insight into their phone activities. While these apps often require payment, they grant you access to retrieve all his messages from your device or computer covertly.
- It's essential to note the legality of such actions based on your jurisdiction. Moreover, ethically, it's advisable only in cases where suspicions are well-founded and you require concrete evidence. In most situations, this approach is discouraged.
Taking Action

Understand the potential consequences if he's innocent. Suspecting your partner of infidelity can be emotionally taxing. However, if there's even a slight chance of his innocence, snooping through his private conversations without consent can severely damage trust. Explore alternative methods to address your concerns if possible.
- In certain states, accessing someone's electronic communications without permission, even within a marriage, can constitute a felony. Ensure you're fully aware of the legal implications before proceeding.
- If you genuinely seek information, consider hiring a licensed private investigator as a lawful means to gather information.

Initiate an open conversation regarding your concerns prompting the desire to monitor his phone. If you're contemplating such actions, it likely signifies underlying relationship challenges. Remind yourself that marriage is a partnership and addressing issues together fosters growth. Communicate openly with him about your apprehensions rather than resorting to snooping.
- You could approach him by saying, “Can we talk? I've noticed some changes in your behavior lately, and it's been troubling me. Is there something you'd like to share?”
- Alternatively, you might express, “I've observed a change in your phone habits recently. Is there anything going on that you'd like to discuss?”
- Or simply state, “I've felt a distance between us lately. I value our relationship and would appreciate it if we could address any concerns together.”

Confront him directly if you suspect infidelity and possess evidence. If there are indications of dishonesty, engaging in conversation is preferable to invading his privacy. Present your evidence calmly and respectfully, aiming for an open dialogue to determine the best course of action moving forward.
- For instance, you could initiate the conversation by stating, “I've noticed certain behaviors that have raised concerns for me, such as [specific behavior]. Can we discuss this openly?”
- Or address the issue by saying, “I've observed some inconsistencies in your actions lately. It's causing me distress, and I believe we need to address it together.”
- Remain receptive to the possibility of misunderstanding and maintain an open mind during the conversation.

Consider couples therapy as a way to mend your relationship. Whether there are hidden issues or not, seeking professional counseling can be beneficial. Couples therapy offers a platform to address concerns, enhance communication, and strengthen your bond. Think of it as routine maintenance for your marriage, ensuring it remains strong and healthy.
- Couples often seek counseling for various reasons, and it doesn't necessarily indicate marital problems. Like cars, relationships benefit from occasional tune-ups.