Buzz
As a new parent, you were filled with lofty ideals: you pledged to stand by your children unconditionally, encourage them to embrace their true selves, and foster their self-esteem. Then, you witness your son in a dress. You may harbor concerns about his acceptance, but you can remain steadfast in your ideals and support him for who he truly is.
Guidelines
Observe your child's actions. Does he gravitate towards pink, dresses, and frilly shirts? Is cross-dressing a frequent occurrence, or does it happen sporadically? Does he identify as a girl, or does he simply enjoy certain colors and styles?
Assure yourself. This revelation may come as a surprise to some parents or caregivers. However, your child can engage in cross-dressing and still lead a fulfilling life. You remain a loving parent. Your child is not alone in their behavior, and everything will be alright.
- Consider delving into LGBT+ and feminist literature, particularly narratives featuring individuals who grew up embracing their uniqueness. These resources can offer insights on how to provide support and alleviate any concerns you may have.
Educate Yourself about Transgender Children and Cross-Dressing. Some children engage in cross-dressing for fun, while others are transgender and find comfort in expressing their true gender identity. A transgender child may require support in transitioning to their authentic gender, whereas a child who cross-dresses for enjoyment may simply appreciate having access to dresses and skirts.
- Regardless, your child deserves love and acceptance for who they are.
Encourage Your Child's Exploration. By allowing your child to experiment, you convey that it's acceptable to embrace their authentic self and that you stand by them unconditionally. Granting them freedom to explore different avenues enables them to discover what feels most comfortable for them.
- When shopping for clothes, permit them to browse both the blue and pink sections if they wish.
- Support their desire to dress up in old clothes or costumes. (Emphasize the importance of seeking permission if borrowing clothes from siblings!)
Initiate a Conversation. Approach the discussion with a positive attitude, expressing your non-judgmental stance and genuine desire to understand your child better. Inquire about their preferences and provide information about cross-dressing and gender expression if they show interest.
- Ask them about their motivations for dressing in clothing typically associated with another gender. (This can help discern whether they identify as transgender or simply enjoy cross-dressing, fostering mutual understanding.)
- Engage in an open dialogue regarding societal gender norms and the freedom to dress according to personal preference, highlighting the importance of self-expression through fashion.
- Encourage the exploration and enjoyment of clothing choices in a safe environment, emphasizing that everyone has the right to dress as they please.
Address School Dynamics and Bullying Honestly. If concerns arise about your child's reception by peers, engage them in conversation. Allow them to weigh the significance of cross-dressing in public settings and empower them to make their own decisions, even in the face of adversity.
- 'Some boys may face teasing for expressing themselves in traditionally feminine ways. Although it's unfair, it's important to remember that the decision to display painted nails at school is yours to make, and I'll support you regardless.'
Participate in Feminine Activities Together. Share in activities typically associated with femininity, such as painting nails or hosting a tea party. Engaging in these activities communicates your love and reinforces the message that embracing femininity is perfectly acceptable.
- By demonstrating respect for traditionally feminine pursuits, you instill the value of respecting girls in your child.
Stand Up for Him Against Criticism. If other adults make hurtful remarks about you or your child, assertively express your disapproval. Your child deserves the freedom to be themselves, and you're demonstrating good parenting by allowing them autonomy over their choices.
- If your child feels upset, offer reassurance. Remember, the negativity stems from others, not from him.
- Consider how you'd want your child to defend someone else facing bullying. Lead by example and advocate for your child.
Suggestions
Cautions
- If you pressure him to suppress his true self or hide his feminine traits in public, he may harbor resentment towards you. It's preferable to gently guide him and respect his autonomy in making decisions.
