Buzz
Marriage is never vague; it's a truth you'll inevitably come to grasp.
Gerald Rogers, a renowned speaker, has recently emerged from his 16-year marriage. Unable to salvage what seemed like a lifelong bond, Rogers pens advice he wished he'd heard when proposing to his fiancée.
Below is Gerald Rogers' article: 'I'm no marriage expert. I'm not even proficient in this field. If so, I wouldn't be here, writing advice I only wished I had heard before it was too late.'
Nowadays, I can only say: If only I knew when marrying her, I'd understand that...
1. Keep the Passion Alive
Having gone through numerous experiences and after countless arguments, big and small, I finally realize that what disappoints women the most after marriage is how husbands express their love. Remembering the times of love, I spoiled her endlessly, with all the dates, surprises, and certainly, those sweet words (even if just through text messages). But after marriage, it's like a chemical reaction that makes everything become normal, as natural as having dinner. In those 16 years of marriage, we hardly ever had private dates, or if we did, it was just to some familiar places; I did my thing, she did hers. Our conversations became simpler, more mundane, revolving only around very practical matters, with no trace of affection, let alone the courtship of the past. What was called 'the spark' didn't exactly vanish, but it seems unimportant now. Back then, I didn't worry or think about it at all, I just brushed it aside and thought that life had a hundred thousand other things to worry about... But I was wrong! Women always like to be pursued, and she didn't change that need after marriage. And I unintentionally lost my spark from who knows which year of marriage; I can't even remember anymore.
2. Absolutely No Lies
Women are always sensitive to lies, so I sincerely advise you that, while any resolution may suffice, absolutely avoid lying. The only exception is if your wife's current health doesn't permit it; otherwise, always speak the truth, no matter what, regardless of seriousness. Women have great forgiveness; they may forgive all your mistakes, except lies. Just one falsehood and you'll naturally place your relationship in a very tense situation. Everything that happens afterward, even with your promises, she'll only believe 70% and reserve 30% for doubt. Men always try to spin things in the safest direction for themselves, regardless of how far it strays from the truth, while women see lies as a sign of insufficient love. Thus, everyone has their reasons for their own thinking, each going their own way, until they part ways.
3. Money is as important as love
Love and money will each contribute 50-50 to your marital happiness. Many believe this dynamic can change, meaning that if love is strong, money matters little, or even not at all. Those who think so probably haven't married yet or never have to think about earning money. In marriage, money is a team game where both must support each other to reach the end, which is victory. If two people are in the same game but have different views, different purposes, and can't share tasks with each other, the likelihood of winning is very rare. Conversely, if both are united, no matter how low the starting point, the results can be surprising. Before marriage, love indicates the sustainability of the relationship, after marriage, money demonstrates that sustainability. If after getting married, your family's finances gradually stabilize and grow every year, you can be reassured. But if your family keeps quarreling about money, be cautious!
4. Learn to Share
Women are inherently courageous like men, yet they always seek a shoulder to lean on. Hence, the simple task for husbands is to provide a strong shoulder for their wives whenever possible. The courage of men is not only demonstrated through grand gestures but also through understanding every small thought of their partners. Don't hesitate to share time and listen to everything she wants to say so that you both become soulmates, not just a couple living together. Be a husband whom she wants to call first, no matter what happens, or else you might end up like me now. If you already have children, you'll understand more about what I call sharing here. Clearly, not every husband is willing to help his wife, especially when both are exhausted. However, remember that no matter how tired you are, your wife is even more tired and busier, and she may have had no time for herself for a long time. If she receives your sharing at this moment, it's a priceless gift for her, making your relationship much stronger and deeper. Every small gesture of yours will be appreciated by her, so remember to show it whenever you can!
Above are pieces of advice for maintaining a happy family from someone who failed in marriage. Whether you believe it or not, it's up to you!
By Ellle
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