Whether you’ve received an invitation to a formal dinner or you’re planning to dine out, polishing your table etiquette is essential. Good table manners not only make a positive impression on your fellow diners but also contribute to a pleasant and enjoyable dining experience. We've compiled a comprehensive guide to help you navigate the dinner table with ease and grace.
Guidelines
Begin with Clean Hands
Prioritize Hand Hygiene Before you start your meal, ensure your hands are thoroughly clean. Take a trip to the restroom and wash your hands with soap and water. If you're teaching children about table manners, use this opportunity to educate them on proper handwashing techniques and duration.
- In upscale dining establishments, you may even be provided with a bowl of water to cleanse your hands. However, this is typically reserved for formal dining occasions.
Silence your phone.
Avoid disruptions from ringing phones. Before joining the table, switch your phone to silent or vibrate mode and store it in a pocket or purse. If you receive an important call, excuse yourself from the table to answer it, ensuring minimal disturbance to other guests.
- Avoid placing your phone on the table during the meal as it can be distracting.
Wait until everyone is seated.
This includes waiting for the host. Whether at a dinner party or restaurant, allow all guests to settle before starting your meal. In situations without assigned seating, offer the best seat, typically the head of the table, to the guest of honor or host. Other guests may choose their seats accordingly.
- Enter and exit your dining chair from the right in formal settings. Additionally, assist nearby guests by pulling out their chairs as they sit and gently pushing them in. Military etiquette dictates entering from the left and exiting from the right during formal dinners.
Place your napkin on your lap.
Your napkin serves as a safeguard for any dropped food. Unfold your napkin and place it over your lap, ensuring it lays flat. Throughout the meal, you can use it to wipe your hands or mouth as needed.
- When seated, the napkin should be your first touch.
- If leaving the table temporarily, place your napkin on the chair to indicate you'll return and are not finished with your meal.
Pass dishes clockwise.
Continue passing dishes if you’re serving yourself.
After serving yourself, pass the dish to the person on your right. Avoid reaching over others and politely request a dish if needed.
- For bread, offer some to the person on your left before passing it along.
Wait for the host or guest of honor to start eating.
When no designated host is present, follow the lead of the guest of honor. Once they begin eating, you may proceed. Considerations such as grace or toasts may also delay meal commencement.
- With family meals, wait for the meal preparer to start eating.
Start with the outermost utensils.
Formal dining often includes multiple utensil sets. If uncertain, begin with the outermost utensils and work your way inwards. Different courses typically correspond to different utensils.
- At informal gatherings, such as dinner parties with friends and family, multiple utensils are usually not a concern.
- On the left side, you'll find, from outer to inner, the salad fork, dinner fork, and dessert fork. On the right, you'll encounter the soup spoon, tea spoon, and dinner knife.
Keep elbows off the table.
Keep elbows close to your sides during dining. Resting elbows on the table occupies unnecessary space and is generally considered impolite. Elders may even remind you of this etiquette.
- Between courses or when not eating, resting elbows on the table is acceptable. The rule applies only when actively using utensils.
Consume food slowly with closed mouth.
Avoid displaying food in your mouth while speaking. Finish chewing and swallowing before engaging in conversation. Eat slowly and mindfully to prevent hurried eating.
- Apply the same courtesy to drinking: take small sips and refrain from making noise or causing spills.
Practice politeness with “please” and “thank you.”
Extend gratitude, including to the host after the meal. Maintain courteous and respectful behavior by using polite language when requesting food or additional items. When dining at a restaurant, express gratitude to the servers for their service.
Engage in conversation during the meal.
Conversation enhances the dining experience. Participate in discussions with fellow guests while enjoying your meal. Ensure to finish chewing and swallowing before speaking and actively listen to others.
- If unfamiliar with neighboring guests, introduce yourself and inquire about their connection to the host. This can initiate lively conversation!
Use your napkin to cover your mouth if you need to burp.
Burping is natural, and handling it discreetly is polite. If you feel a burp coming, cover your mouth with your napkin to muffle the sound. Afterward, simply say 'excuse me' and continue eating.
- If troubled by hiccups, it's courteous to step away from the table until they subside.
Retrieve your utensils if dropped.
Request a replacement if needed. Should you be unable to reach your dropped utensils, inform the waiter or host to request a new set. Similarly, if your napkin falls, ask for a replacement.
- If food falls, discreetly use your napkin to pick it up before requesting a new one from your waiter.
Place your utensils on your plate when pausing or finished.
Streamline cleanup by consolidating utensils in the center of your plate. This prevents them from slipping off. At a restaurant, this gesture indicates readiness for plate removal.
- During breaks or pauses, or while awaiting more food, you can cross your utensils. The fork's tines should face downward with the blade inward. If using a tablespoon, place it bowl-side up. When finished, position them side by side at the 6 o'clock position in the UK or 4 o'clock elsewhere. Additionally, place your napkin to the left of your plate.
Assist with table clearing after the meal.
Participate in post-meal cleanup during family dinners. Help gather dishes, napkins, and cups for transport to the kitchen. For an extra touch of courtesy, offer to assist with dishwashing. Your host will appreciate the gesture, and you may secure an invitation to future gatherings.
Etiquette Reminders
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If excusing yourself to the restroom, a simple 'excuse me, I'll be right back' suffices. No need for further explanation.
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Avoid correcting others' table manners, as it may be perceived as impolite.
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When unsure, emulate the host's behavior.
The guidance provided here reflects the real-life experiences of Mytour readers, just like you. If you have a helpful tip you'd like to share with Mytour, please feel free to submit it below.
- When dining at a buffet-style event, be mindful not to overload your plate. It's better to go back for seconds than to waste food or overindulge.
- Wait until you've finished everything on your plate before requesting seconds. Wasting food, especially when someone has prepared it for you, is considered impolite.
- After finishing your meal, place your fork and knife on the plate, crossing them with the fork facing downward.
- Avoid talking while eating as it is not only unappealing but also disrupts conversation for others.
- Remember to express gratitude to the host before leaving. Failing to thank the host personally is considered impolite.