Buzz
Thinking before speaking is a crucial skill in various situations, enhancing relationships and enabling effective expression. Utilize the THINK acronym - True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind - to filter your words. Practice strategies like pausing, seeking clarity, open body language, and focusing on one point at a time.
Steps
Using THINK to Evaluate Your Speech
Evaluate the Truthfulness of Your Words. Before speaking, reflect on whether your words align with the truth. Avoid fabrications and exaggerations; strive for honesty even in small interactions.
Speak if it's Helpful, stay silent if it's not. Offering assistance can benefit others, but refrain from speaking if it may cause harm. For instance, offering a helpful tip during a video game can be beneficial, while mocking someone's struggles is best avoided.
Determine if your comment might be Inspiring to others. Encouraging, uplifting words are always welcome. Whether it's a compliment, words of encouragement, or an inspiring story, share it to inspire others.
Tip: In another version of the THINK acronym, “I” represents “illegal.” If what you're about to say may be considered “illegal,” refrain from saying it. This includes threats or discriminatory remarks.
Speak if your comment is Necessary. Sometimes speaking up is essential to prevent harm or convey an important message. If needed, speak up to warn or inform others, but refrain from speaking if unnecessary.
Refrain from speaking if it's not Kind. Consider if your words are kind before speaking. If you can't say anything nice, it's best to remain silent. Whether it's offering a genuine compliment or staying quiet, kindness should guide your speech.
Remember: If your words pass the THINK test, speak up! Otherwise, consider revising or remaining silent.
Being Mindful of Your Word Choice
Be an Attentive Listener during conversations. Fully concentrate on the speaker, allowing for thoughtful responses afterward.
- For instance, when someone shares a weekend story, engage actively to demonstrate genuine interest.
- Avoid planning your response while the other person speaks to ensure attentive listening and relevant replies.
Take a moment to pause if you catch yourself saying “um” or “uh.” Excessive filler words often indicate uncertainty. Pause briefly to gather your thoughts before continuing.
- Feel free to express the need for a moment to reflect if asked a question.
Pro Tip: During presentations or conversations, take a sip of water for a natural pause, allowing time for reflection.
Seek clarification by asking questions. If uncertain how to respond in a conversation, ask for clarification. Rephrase the statement or question to ensure understanding and buy time to think.
- For instance, ask, “What did you mean by that comment about the movie's structure?”
- Or, confirm understanding with, “So you're saying you want to leave because you're not feeling well, right?”
- This technique can also provide time for reflection.
Manage tension by taking deep breaths or excusing yourself. In intense situations or when feeling nervous, deep breaths can calm and help gather thoughts. In need of a longer break, excuse yourself for a restroom visit or a brief walk.
- For extended calm, consider stepping away for a moment or two.
Utilizing Effective Communication Techniques
Maintain focus by eliminating distractions. Remove phone, TV, or computer distractions to engage fully in conversation. Prioritize attention on the person spoken to.
- Politely pause to eliminate distractions, ensuring full attention.
Show attentive listening with open body language. Employing open body language enhances thoughtful communication. Be mindful of posture and gestures, maintaining eye contact and a neutral expression.
- Face the person directly, keep arms relaxed, and maintain eye contact to convey attentiveness.
- Avoid distracting behaviors like looking around the room.
- Relax facial muscles to appear approachable.
Remember: Leaning in towards the person shows interest in their words, while leaning back suggests disinterest.
Focus on one point at a time. Avoid overwhelming others with too much information. Pause after making a point to allow for questions or further discussion.
- For instance, when discussing your day, highlight one positive event instead of recounting every detail.
- In debates, present your main argument first, supporting it with evidence, rather than inundating with multiple points.
Conclude with a summary or silence. After speaking, it's okay to remain silent. Summarize your point if necessary, but silence is also acceptable.
- For example, you might conclude, “Overall, my trip to Florida was enjoyable, and I plan to return next year.”
- Ending a story without a summary is acceptable too.
