Buzz
'I'll divorce you after our child finishes college,' I thought it was just something my wife said in anger, little did I know she had been planning for 10 years!
There are a few women who handle divorce with true grace.
A man who only knows how to love himself has nothing worth reminiscing about.
A recently divorced man spoke about his ex-wife, saying, 'When we walked out of the government office, I cried while she laughed. She said, I've been waiting for this day for ten years, ten years of diligently educating our child, ten years of suffering.'
She had told me many times that she would divorce me after our child finished college. I thought it was just her being upset, but she meant it. Moreover, since then, she had been preparing for the divorce.
I remember those years when my wife was very independent and gentle. Suddenly, I realized that what I thought was a harmonious marriage was actually because my wife no longer wanted to argue with me.
I used to hate it when my wife told me to do household chores. Then, I don't know since when, she stopped asking me to do them. At that time, I was very happy, thinking that all women were like that, if you didn't spoil them, they would know what to do themselves.
Looking back now, perhaps at that time, my wife wanted to let go of me. She didn't need me, so she did everything by herself.
During those years, my wife never asked me for a single penny. When our child was still young and she couldn't work, she would ask me for money every month. I remember feeling extremely annoyed every time she mentioned money. Making a few meager dollars each month and spending it all on this house.
Every time my wife asked for money, I would say, 'Can't you save a bit? Why buy an air conditioner for the living room? Just make do with the broken one. Every day you buy new things for our child, and then there's makeup, what's the use? Do you know how hard it is for a man to earn money?'
I remember at the beginning, my wife would argue back, but as time went on, she just smiled and endured silently.
At that moment, I froze, but I didn't let it bother me. If she didn't care, then neither did I, as long as she didn't demand money from me.
It was then that I realized my wife no longer needed my financial support.
No, during those years, my wife was not only financially independent but also emotionally independent.
My wife started rarely arguing with me. Whatever I said, she just listened or pretended not to hear, then she would retreat to another room. At that time, I thought my wife had become virtuous and docile, but I never imagined she found our arguments unnecessary.
Looking back on those years, I realized I could do whatever I wanted, and my wife wouldn't care. One evening, I didn't come home, and she didn't even call. At that time, I arrogantly laughed at those whose wives urged them on, thinking they lacked dignity for being controlled by their wives.
Now, thinking back, someone else's wife still loves them, but mine didn't love me anymore back then. At that time, I was extremely arrogant, thinking this woman also knew how to keep silent.
I thought again, during those years, my wife avoided arguments with me for the sake of our children, taking care of everything for them, while I didn't care even a little bit.
For ten years, my wife worked hard to earn money, take care of the children, and handle all the household chores. Even when her parents had something to do, they never asked me for help. I used to be proud of this, thinking my wife should be like this.
Every time my wife asks for something small, I immediately feel annoyed. I don't want to care about anything she wants, I just want to be served like before, as long as she doesn't ask for money, she can do whatever she likes.
Once when my wife was sick, she called me. I remember clearly what I said at that time: 'Doesn't your mom's house have anyone? Don't you have money on you, why call me?'
My wife didn't say a word and hung up the phone. Later when she recovered from her illness, I felt a bit guilty, thinking she would cry or argue, but she pretended as if nothing happened. I immediately felt that my wife is just like that, I don't care, she can't do anything to me.
I never thought that a submissive wife like her would be so determined when divorcing me.
Was this determination perhaps accumulated from this cold marriage?
It's like she once said: 'You ceased to be my husband long ago, you're just my child's father now'.
So, she waited for 10 years, prepared for 10 years, waited until our child finished university, became an adult, then decisively filed for divorce.
Looking back, there's really no reason for my wife to linger. Because in this marriage, even I can't recall what I've given her. There's only one child, which is also her only source of nostalgia.
Stepping out of the marriage registry office, he cried, for he couldn't fathom a future where he had to do the laundry and cook alone, take care of the household chores all by himself. He couldn't even imagine being able to drink the soup his wife cooked for the rest of his life.
Meanwhile, his wife laughed, because there was nothing good about the marriage for her. After the divorce, she just stopped taking care of someone with a bad temper.
Men shouldn't wait until their children grow up to appreciate their wives.
When the children were young, you thought she would never leave you. No matter how big your mistake was, she would always forgive you, tolerate you for the sake of the children.
You even naively thought that wives should be disciplined. If you're too good to her, she'll become spoiled; if you're not good to her, she'll know how to behave.
You relied on her after giving birth, she wasn't as strong as before, but rather oppressed, despised, looked down upon, never showed her any care or affection.
You relied on her love for your child, not wanting the child to live in an incomplete, disparaged, cold family, even just seeing her as a free babysitter.
Did you think she would always be weak and easily oppressed like that?
Why didn't you consider that she had no other choice back then? When she gathered enough strength, when she became strong enough, when the children had grown up, she would not hesitate to leave you.
Because a man who only loves himself, if not for the children, there's nothing worth longing for.
The rest of life with you, truly exhausting!
The rest of life without you, how could it be happy!
Watermelon (translated from Weibo)
Posted by: Do Thi Ngan
Keywords: Men who only love themselves, there's nothing worth longing for
