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Contemplating sexual matters is a natural aspect of being human. Our biological urges and instincts often lead us to consider such thoughts. However, at times, these thoughts may become overpowering, hindering our ability to concentrate and complete basic tasks. Nevertheless, it's feasible for these urges and desires to fade into the background as you navigate your daily life, particularly when your focus should be on career, education, health, hobbies, interests, family, friends, finances, etc. Continue reading below to explore methods for stopping sexual thoughts.
Procedures
Avoiding Stimuli
Comprehend and predict types of stimuli. While it may be simple to recognize specific stimuli or situational triggers, like those mentioned, attempt to discern patterns among your stimuli. This awareness can aid in proactively avoiding certain things when aiming to reduce sexual thoughts.
- Are your stimuli primarily visual or verbal? For instance, men often respond more to visual stimuli, whereas women may be more influenced by verbal stimuli.
Identify your personal triggers. Recognize situations, times, or emotions that consistently lead you to thoughts about sex. Compile a list of these triggers. For instance, you might find yourself thinking about sex:
- Immediately upon waking up.
- During specific activities like gym sessions, yoga classes, etc.
- While commuting on public transport.
- When you should be studying or working.
- When in the company of someone you're attracted to.
- When in bed.
Make accessing pornography more challenging. Although pornography might offer temporary relief from sexual urges, developing a reliance on it can intensify sexual thoughts, making it difficult to break free. Take steps to limit access to pornography:
- Remove pornographic materials from your surroundings, including videos, magazines, calendars, and other items both at home and in frequented places. Endeavor to avoid watching pornography altogether.
- If your computer has firewall protection, activate parental controls and set the profile to 'teen' to prevent accidental exposure to pornography. Parental controls can be useful for adults too, so implement them across all your devices and web browsers.
Maintain a list of unappealing topics. Compile a list of subjects that you find unattractive. Train yourself to redirect your thoughts to these unsexy topics whenever your mind wanders to sexual matters. Consider incorporating the following unsexy mental diversions:
- Focus on neutral and pleasant topics such as picturesque outdoor scenes, underwater landscapes, playful puppies, amusing sports mishaps, or strategic chess moves.
- Contemplate cold-related topics like bulky winter clothing, snowscapes, or wintry conditions.
Replace triggers with alternative thoughts and subjects. Distract yourself from sexual thoughts by redirecting your focus to other topics. With time, this diversionary tactic will become second nature:
- Engage in an immediate diversionary activity. For instance, if you typically think about sex during bus rides, make a conscious effort to occupy yourself with other tasks, such as completing homework, reading a book, or chatting with a friend. Similarly, if sexual thoughts arise during dull moments in class, meetings, or work, take diligent notes to maintain focus on the present conversation.
- Prioritize discussion topics. If encountering certain individuals consistently triggers sexual thoughts, prepare specific questions or discussion points for your next interaction. Alternatively, develop thought-provoking topics relevant to broader audiences, such as current events, global affairs, environmental issues, or political developments.
Commit to personal goals. Set a minimum objective to minimize sexual thoughts, ensuring they do not disrupt your daily obligations like work or school. Make a dedicated commitment to achieve this goal:
- Utilize visual reminders to reinforce your commitment. Wear a piece of jewelry or tie a string around your wrist as a tangible prompt to resist succumbing to sexual thoughts.
- Share your goal with a trusted friend or family member to enhance accountability. Regular check-ins can provide support and guidance if needed.
- Reward yourself for adhering to your commitment. Treat yourself to a favored dessert, indulge in a shopping excursion, or enjoy another preferred activity as a form of recognition.
Be kind to yourself. It's natural to think about sex, especially as you navigate adolescence and adulthood. Don't burden yourself with guilt over it. Sexual thoughts only become problematic when they interfere with your ability to concentrate on other matters. Remember, the intensity of these urges will fluctuate, and they will eventually subside.
Staying Occupied
Create specific
blueprints. Fill your idle hours with pre-planned activities. While relaxation is essential, excessive free time can lead to excessive thoughts about sex. Schedule your day with productive pursuits and self-improvement endeavors. Reserve some time for unwinding at the end of the day, but maintain a balanced schedule to prevent boredom and wandering thoughts.
Explore your creative side. Channel your sexual energy into creative endeavors. Use the time you'd typically spend dwelling on sex to engage in a creative pastime. Immersing yourself in a fulfilling activity offers a constructive outlet for your emotions, keeping your mind occupied and engaged.
Immerse yourself in literature or film. Dive into a captivating book or movie as a distraction from sexual thoughts, particularly in the short term.
- Select material that doesn't evoke sexual themes, avoiding steamy romance novels or explicit imagery.
- Opt for animated, action-packed, adventure, thriller, or mystery genres, which offer engaging content without triggering sexual thoughts.
Attend a performance or exhibition. Immerse yourself in a show or exhibit to divert your attention and enjoy yourself. Going with friends adds to the experience, providing additional distraction and post-event discussions.
- Consider attending live performances like concerts, musicals, plays, lectures, or readings.
- Explore museums, new exhibits, aquariums, or zoos for alternative entertainment.
Prioritizing Wellness
Maintain a balanced diet. Avoid potential triggers for sexual thoughts by ensuring you're not experiencing hunger-related dissatisfaction. Eat three nutritious meals daily and stay hydrated, especially in hot weather. Incorporate brain foods like celery, spinach, walnuts, sunflower or pumpkin seeds, beets, and even dark chocolate to keep your mind alert and focused.
Stay active. Exercise not only promotes physical health but also helps reduce sexual preoccupation by providing distraction and releasing endorphins. The endorphin rush from exercise offers a similar sense of well-being as sexual activity, making it a beneficial alternative.
- Choose activities that engage you and provide social interaction, such as team sports.
Engage in team sports. Participating in team sports offers social interaction and diversion from individual thoughts. Selecting the right sport and team dynamics can minimize the risk of exacerbating sexual thoughts while maximizing the benefits of physical activity.
- Consider joining a single-sex team or exploring different leagues to find the most suitable fit.
Ensure restful sleep. Lack of sleep can impair focus and concentration, making it harder to control sexual thoughts. Aim for eight hours of quality sleep each night to support mental clarity and mood stability.
Fostering a Fulfilling Sex Life
Prioritize communication with your partner. Open communication fosters a healthy sexual relationship, reducing the likelihood of intrusive sexual thoughts. Verbal and non-verbal communication can deepen emotional intimacy and enhance overall satisfaction.
- Discuss desires, boundaries, and expectations openly with your partner to maintain a fulfilling relationship.
- Even if not sexually active, communicate openly to address any concerns or discrepancies in expectations.
View sex through a romantic lens. Shift your focus from purely physical to emotionally intimate interactions with your partner. Embrace romantic gestures to strengthen the bond and connection between you both.
Cultivate healthy attitudes towards masturbation. Masturbation can be a healthy outlet for sexual urges, reducing the fixation on finding a sexual partner. Balance regular dating with self-pleasure to maintain mental clarity and focus on personal growth.
Remember that life is diverse. While sex may dominate your thoughts at times, it's essential to recognize that life encompasses a wide range of experiences and interests. Embrace your complexity and explore other facets of your identity beyond sexual desires.
Exploring External Support
Engage with a trusted family member. Parents and relatives, despite generational gaps, offer valuable insights and support. Conversing with understanding family members can alleviate feelings of isolation and provide reassurance during times of sexual introspection.
- Alternatively, confide in an older sibling or cousin if you prefer speaking to someone closer in age.
Share your concerns with a trusted friend. Discussing personal struggles with a compassionate friend can offer comfort and solidarity. A non-judgmental conversation can provide ongoing encouragement and understanding.
Consult with a religious leader or counselor. Seek guidance from a religious advisor if your sexual urges conflict with your spiritual beliefs. Religious leaders are experienced in addressing such concerns and can offer perspective and support without judgment.
Seek guidance from a therapist or counselor. Therapists, including psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, and other professionals, can provide valuable support and assistance.
- Check if your insurance covers therapy sessions, and explore options available through your school or workplace benefits. Confidentiality is assured during your sessions, and therapists can help you address obsessive thoughts, including those related to sexuality.
- Seeking therapy is increasingly accepted, so don't hesitate due to social stigma. Many people regularly benefit from therapy, and it's a proactive step toward managing your well-being.
- If you suspect sexual addiction, consider consulting a licensed sex therapist to address these concerns before they escalate into harmful behaviors.
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Recommendations
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Don't stress over sexual thoughts. Remember, it's a natural aspect of being human. What's important is managing your thoughts and carrying on with your daily activities.
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If you're a woman, hormonal birth control might affect your libido. Discuss with your doctor the possibility of switching to a less androgenic formula to mitigate this effect.
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Try incorporating meditation into your routine.
Cautionary Notes
- In severe instances, persistent fixation on sexuality may necessitate therapy and medication. While it's likely that your thoughts about sex are not as overwhelming as you perceive them to be, consult your doctor if you feel your thoughts are unmanageable.
