Buzz
Date… month… year…
Today, I had a date with a guy who invited me to watch a movie. Before entering the cinema, he stopped by the counter to buy a large Pepsi. Thinking he got it for me, I was surprised when, as soon as we sat down, before the movie even started, he started slurping the Pepsi like a cow drinking from a river. A moment later, feeling thirsty, I turned to ask for a sip, but he had already finished it, saying: 'Do you also like drinking? Why didn't you tell me at the counter, and I would have bought one for you too!' I don't know if drinking Pepsi makes his stomach cold, but he had to get up to use the restroom every 5 minutes. The seats were quite cramped, so every time he squeezed out, others in the row had to make way, bending their legs to let him through. Occasionally, someone got their foot stepped on, and they would scream in pain. The movie was over an hour long, but I counted him going to the restroom over ten times. I wondered if he came here to watch the movie or to use the restroom. Fed up, I turned and said: 'Next time, remember to bring a bucket when you watch a movie, use it right at your seat, fill it up once for convenience, and not disturb those around you.' In the rare moments he didn't go to the restroom, I couldn't watch the movie properly because it was a horror film, and every time it got scary, he would scream loudly, clutching onto me. And not just holding, but his hand would roam, touching randomly. I pushed his hand away, serious, reminding him, then he apologized: 'Sorry! It's not intentional! I have a bad habit that whenever I'm scared, I can't control my limbs.'
Date… month… year…
Accepted an invitation today to hang out with a rather handsome guy riding a Dream II. As soon as I sat on the bike, he revved the engine loudly, deafening me, then he turned back and asked me: 'Do you like wheelies? Let me show you!' Frantically waving my hands: 'No! I don't like it! If you do, I can give you my older brother's phone number. Contact him!' Hearing that, he asked: 'Is your older brother also a professional stunt rider?' I replied: 'No! My older brother specializes in digging graves! Call him to make an appointment in advance, introduce yourself as my friend, and you'll surely get a discount!' This guy had the knack for style and broad knowledge. Every time we passed a place, he would point and say: 'That's the most beautiful and expensive luxury shop in Hanoi! I just bought stuff there last week!' A moment later, he pointed again: 'That's the most luxurious and delicious restaurant in the capital! I just had a drink there the day before yesterday!' A little further, he pointed: 'That's the most professional and classy bar in this city! I was partying there last night!' I remained silent, not saying anything. A while later, as we passed Trâu Quỳ area, I pointed my hand and said: 'That's the largest and most upscale psychiatric hospital in the North! Did you just escape from there this morning?'
Date… month… year…
Today, went on another date with a guy who invited me to Thủ Lệ Park. This guy is thin, with long, lanky limbs, messy hair, dark skin, and a noticeable odor (probably due to not showering). So when he got close to the monkey enclosure, the baby monkeys started screaming, thinking they were reunited with lost family members after years. It wasn't just the monkeys that were confused; even the park security guards got mixed up. I saw them rushing in, grabbing him, and preparing to throw him into the monkey cage. He frantically explained, pulled out his ID, and only then did the guards believe him and let him go. Bored of watching monkeys, he suggested we pedal swan boats. When we reached the middle of the pond, his face turned pale. I asked what happened, and he said he got seasick. As he finished speaking, he vomited a substantial amount right onto my newly bought pristine white dress, in the middle, between my thighs. I rinsed it off, but that spot on the dress remained damp and blotchy. Looking at it, one couldn't help but think we used the swan boat ride as an excuse for some scandalous activity in the middle of the pond. Watching his face at that moment, I felt a mix of sympathy and irritation. I lost interest in swan pedaling, just wanted to give him a kick to make him flip into the pond and be done with it.
Date… month… year…
I'm quite excited because tomorrow night I have a date with a guy who, in my opinion, seems pretty decent. He dresses very elegantly, in a suit, dress shoes, and always carries a briefcase; he claims to have a high monthly salary, around more than 3 billion, but he lives a simple life, still renting a room, eating instant noodles, and taking the bus. Hopefully, he'll be the dream prince I've been waiting for all these years...
Authored by: VICTORIOUS CAT STRIKER
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