Buzz
If you frequently talk about your greatness or importance, it might be starting to irritate others. Don’t be too hard on yourself, though! Now that you’ve acknowledged the behavior, you can make relatively simple adjustments. It’s perfectly acceptable (and even admirable) to take pride in yourself. The crucial aspect is to find more modest ways to communicate that. Even if it’s your children or friends who are boasting, it’s never too early to try to steer their behavior in a different direction!
Procedures
Presenting Your Achievements with Humility
Recognize the hurdles you encountered to appear modest. It’s completely acceptable to take pride in your accomplishments. The key is to incorporate additional elements into the discussion when discussing your successes. Express gratitude for your ability to achieve. The person you’re conversing with will likely value your appreciation.
- Instead of saying, “I smashed my goals last quarter. Can you believe how amazing I did?” say, “I was fortunate enough to meet my targets. A lot of factors had to align for that to happen! It was challenging given the current economic climate, so I had to get innovative.”
- Celebrate your progress and acknowledge your efforts if you’ve been striving to improve yourself.
Highlight your effort, not just your accomplishments. Instead of simply boasting about the outcomes, share a bit about the journey you took. This will make you sound more modest and relatable. You don’t have to delve into every detail, just offer a few key insights.
- For instance, you might say, “I achieved a commendable score on my LSATs. I believe my consistent adherence to a study schedule over several months really made the difference. It was challenging, but ultimately rewarding.”
Acknowledge the contributions of others. Constantly talking solely about yourself can come off as boastful. Even if you believe you deserve most of the credit, it’s wise to recognize the assistance you received along the way, especially if your success is intertwined with someone else’s.
- Consider saying, “I feel like I delivered an excellent performance in the game the other day. However, it was the collective effort of my teammates, who secured numerous hits, that led to our victory!”
- This approach is much more gracious than simply stating, “I played exceptionally, which is why we won!”
Opt for positivity when discussing others. While trying to showcase your achievements, you might feel compelled to undermine someone else’s performance. However, letting your accomplishments speak for themselves is more effective. If you do mention others, do so in a positive light.
- Avoid remarks like, “Have you seen my new condo? It’s far superior to Kelly’s!” Instead, say, “I’m thrilled with my new place and would love for you to see it! I’ve heard great things about Kelly's place too!”
Exercise caution when posting on social media to prevent inadvertently hurting others. Without the context of tone or facial expressions, it’s easy for people to misinterpret your posts. Ensure your words accurately convey your intentions. Review your posts before sharing to avoid misunderstandings.
- A thoughtful, humble post could be, “I’m delighted to announce that I’ve accepted a position at State University. It’s an honor to be joining such a prestigious institution.” This will be better received than, “I aced my job interview and outperformed everyone to snag a job at State University.”
Avoiding Delicate Topics
Consider your audience to avoid causing offense. Before speaking, think about who you're addressing. If your news might upset or hurt someone, consider sharing it with a more appropriate audience.
- For instance, refrain from discussing a recent promotion with a friend who has recently been laid off. Instead, share the news with someone experiencing similar workplace success.
Avoid boasting about being tired; it's not an achievement. Exhaustion isn't something to brag about, as it can alienate others. Vent to friends or family if you're feeling worn down, but don't treat tiredness as a badge of honor.
- Expressing exhaustion is fine in moderation, but avoid glorifying it as an accomplishment.
Avoid using busyness to validate your worth. Most people are busy, so refrain from boasting about it. If you need to discuss your schedule, tie it to actual achievements rather than presenting busyness itself as an accomplishment.
- For example, mention how you've been helping your mom move instead of just emphasizing how busy you are.
Show pride in your children without appearing boastful. It's natural to be proud of your kids, but avoid exaggeration. Focus on specific achievements rather than making grandiose claims.
- For instance, say, “Sammy got an A in calculus. I’m proud of his hard work,” instead of, “Sammy got the highest grade. He's a genius!”
Exercise humility when discussing finances. Talking about money can come off as arrogant and is often considered impolite. If necessary, discuss finances in general terms without divulging specifics.
- For example, instead of boasting, “My bonus exceeded six figures,” opt for, “I'm grateful for my hard work being recognized with a substantial bonus this year.”
Assisting Others in Avoiding Bragging
Lead by example; refrain from boasting. It's crucial to set a positive example, especially for children who often imitate adult behavior. Avoid bragging around those prone to it to discourage them from doing the same.
- If children persist in bragging, take a moment to explain why it's inappropriate and guide them toward expressing themselves differently.
Avoid making comparisons to deter bragging. Constantly comparing achievements can prompt others to boast. Instead, focus on individual accomplishments without pitting them against others.
- For instance, rather than saying, “You outperformed everyone at soccer today,” try, “Your passing skills were exceptional. I admire your teamwork!”
Offer quality time to boost confidence. Bragging often stems from insecurity, a common issue for both children and adults. Provide extra attention to those who boast, offering quality time to boost their self-esteem.
- If you notice a friend boasting excessively, invite them for a coffee outing. Quality time together can help.
- For parents with multiple children, allocate individual time to each, perhaps by reading an extra bedtime story.
Instill kindness to foster humility. Bragging contradicts kindness. By teaching children the value of kindness, they learn to recognize the harm in bragging. Lead by example and engage in activities like volunteering to cultivate compassionate habits.
- For young children, promote kindness through simple acts like sharing toys.
- Extend this ethos to your social circle by involving friends in volunteer work.
Useful Tips
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Be mindful of your tone. Speaking loudly or overly excitedly can be perceived as bragging, even unintentionally.
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Practice self-affirmation! It's perfectly fine to acknowledge your own accomplishments.
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Seek feedback from a trusted friend or family member if you're concerned about boasting too much.
Additional Resources
- ↑ https://www.businessinsider.com/10-ways-to-talk-about-yourself-without-sounding-like-a-jerk-2014-3
- ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/amymorin/2017/01/29/7-ways-to-talk-about-your-accomplishments-without-sounding-like-a-braggart/
- ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/amymorin/2017/01/29/7-ways-to-talk-about-your-accomplishments-without-sounding-like-a-braggart/
- ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/amymorin/2017/01/29/7-ways-to-talk-about-your-accomplishments-without-sounding-like-a-braggart/
- ↑ https://www.mic.com/articles/146078/we-need-to-stop-bragging-about-how-little-sleep-we-get
- ↑ https://www.fastcompany.com/3029294/why-you-need-to-stop-bragging-about-how-busy-you-are
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/singletons/201303/why-some-people-cant-stop-bragging
- ↑ https://www.insider.com/flexing-bragging-about-expensive-things-may-stop-you-from-making-friends-study-shows-2019-1
- ↑ https://www.parents.com/kids/development/social/how-to-deal-with-your-childs-bragging/
- ↑ https://www.parents.com/kids/development/social/how-to-deal-with-your-childs-bragging/
- ↑ https://www.parents.com/kids/development/social/how-to-deal-with-your-childs-bragging/
- ↑ https://www.parents.com/kids/development/social/how-to-deal-with-your-childs-bragging/
