Buzz
- He's self-centered, authoritarian, stingy, and a liar. Just last month, someone told me, 'You're truly a gift from heaven to him,' - the wife snorted.
The husband replied:
- Well, I still think the same now!
- Really? - the wife's eyes sparkled.
The husband shrugged and replied:
- Of course! Heaven bestowed a debt!
Joke 2 - Who's right, Who's wrong?
- During the Vietnamese Language exam at the University. The question was as follows: 'A woman without a man is nothing' and students were required to punctuate it correctly.
- While grading papers, the lecturer noticed all male students wrote: 'A woman without a man is nothing.' Meanwhile, the female students wrote: 'A woman without! A man is nothing.'
Joke 3 - Unable to diagnose...
Originally a central hospital in hopes of better service. When the elderly patient reached the doctor's desk for consultation, the doctor looked at the old man for a moment and said:
- Well, sir, you better go home, you won't be able to get a diagnosis here like this.
The elderly man got annoyed and said, 'Why is that? I have enough money, doctor, just let me in for a check-up.'
The doctor: No, that's not what I meant, you're too weak for an examination like this.
The elderly man burst into tears: - Doctor, am I about to die? Am I seriously ill?
The doctor: No, it's not like that at all, it's just that you're too frail to join the queue for examination. It's crowded, only the healthy ones can get in for a check-up...
The elderly man: ...??????
Joke 4 - Guessing the wind direction
A real estate agent speaks to a client about the house they're interested in.
- Honesty with our clients is our consistent policy. We'd like to present to you all the advantages and disadvantages of the house. And now, let me begin with the disadvantages. To the north of the house, about 1 km away, is a pig farm; to the west is a wastewater treatment plant, to the east is an ammonia production factory, and to the south is a fish processing company...
- So what are the advantages of the house?
- Well, its advantage is that you can always guess the wind direction.
- !!!!!
Joke 5 - Dieting
- Long hair: Hey, I'm on a diet, you know!
- Short hair: Really? I see you getting fatter though.
- Long hair: So what?
- Short hair: Yeah! How do you diet anyway?
- Long hair: Instead of eating 4 bread rolls every morning, now I only have 3 bowls of rice porridge.
Joke 6 - No way to please men
A group of guys went to a 'girlfriend-finding club', where it was advertised that there were plenty of girls for the guys to get to know. When they arrived, the guide said:
- We have 5 floors, gentlemen can go through each floor one by one, and you can stop wherever you like.
They went to the 1st floor, saw a sign that read: 'Short but sincere girls'. They laughed and continued to the 2nd floor.
On the 2nd floor, there was a sign that read: 'Short and cute girls'. The guys felt it wasn't up to their standards, so they continued to the 3rd floor.
On the 3rd floor, there was a sign that read: 'Tall and sincere girls'. The guys wanted better girls, so they went up to the 4th floor.
On the 4th floor, there was a sign that read: 'Tall and beautiful girls'. The guys were excited to see that the standards were increasing as they went higher. They thought, there's one more floor, might as well go up. So they continued to the 5th floor.
On the 5th floor, there was a sign that read: 'There are no girls on this floor. This floor was built to prove that there's no way to please men!'
Joke 7 - Yeah, go ahead, honey!
Nagging wife: Since we got married till now, you've always been obstructing everything I do, like:
'Don't buy this...', 'Don't dress up...', or 'Don't gossip with the neighbors...' I'm tired of those 'Don'ts'. Why don't you ever say: 'Yeah, go ahead, buy it, honey'?
'Yeah, go ahead, do it, honey...' I guess I'll have to move back in with my parents!
Husband: Yeah, go ahead, honey.
Joke 7 - Going out to eat together
Where have you been for so long? - The mother asked her child.
The child went out to dinner with him.
And then?
Afterwards... we had breakfast together.
Joke 8 - Putting the letter in the mailbox
The daughter sneaked out of the house almost bedtime, but was intercepted by her father:
- It's late, where do you think you're going?
- I just wanted to dash out to the mailbox to drop off two letters, Dad!
- Then hurry up a bit, that mailbox has whistled twice already!
Joke 9 - Wealth brings no peace...
Two thieves carrying two bags of money were running away, closely chased by the police.
One of them said to his friend: It's true that as soon as you get a little rich, you immediately encounter trouble!
Joke 10 - Dodging the law
A traffic police officer stopped a car carrying 3 people and checked the driver's blood alcohol level. Result: Exceeded the allowed limit.
- This machine is broken! - The driver shouted - My wife hasn't had a drop of alcohol. Test her.
The police officer agreed, but the result was the same.
- See? Clearly it's broken!
Joke 11 - Just because of a toothpick...
Seeing his son being lazy, lying around all day, refusing to get married, the father advised:
- You're almost 40, son, get married or else after meals, you won't even have someone to pick your teeth with!
40 years later, the young man of that time, now an 80-year-old man, lies with cotton balls tightly stuffed in both ear holes.
- All around, the grandchildren blasted loud music, frolicking and playing soccer in the living room. The old man sighed quietly:
- Oh! Just because of a toothpick, my life is miserable like this!
Joke 12 - Misguided directions
- I'm sorry sir, we're undergoing some repairs at the back, so the restroom has been relocated. You walk down the hallway, at the first door on the left, turn right, then at the fifth door on the left, turn right again, and then...
In the end, the man in desperate need finally found a small room with a hole (under repair). Without hesitation, he relieved himself.
15 minutes later, he returned to the dining room. There was no one here, only the landlady trying to clean up the brownish-yellow stains, muttering curses:
- Damn whoever rudely 'dealt cards' into the ventilation system!
Joke 13 - Unfairness
Women are just too much! Every day they apply all sorts of makeup on their faces without any problem, but yesterday I got a bit of lipstick on my face and got scolded.
Joke 14 - Showing off new clothes
Khánh: Hey, I'm scared! There was a thief at my house last night.
Cúc: Stop bragging!
Khánh: Don't believe me? I'm telling you, there's evidence to prove it. Look here, the thief stole all my clothes, so I had to buy this new shirt.
Cúc: Haha!
Joke 15 - The ghost!!
Teacher: Bo, can you tell me what animal is active at night?
Bo: Excuse me, it's a ghost, ma'am!
Teacher: ??!
Joke 16 - Describing a dog in literature
- That's just too much!
- The teacher sternly scolded Taychot: Why is your essay describing a dog just like Tue's, not a single word different?
- How could I, sir? I don't have a dog at home, so I went to his house to describe his dog.
Joke 17 - Tomato nose and coconut nose
- Hung: Your nose looks like a tomato, very ugly. It should be a coconut nose like mine to be beautiful.
- Lan: Yeah, that's right, but look, the 'coconut water' is flowing!
- Hung: ?!?
Joke 18 - Women's quiz
At a women's quiz competition, they asked a few questions:
1) Can you name some famous football players?
2) Name some slang words that come to mind first?
And most of the answers from the ladies delighted the judges. For the list of football players they listed: Peach Jam, Pomegranate Beach, Carrot Tomato, Raisin Grape, Apple Berry...
As for the list of slang words, they came up with: Bimbim, Zonzon, Susê, Chôm chôm...
Truyện cười 19 - Not even a bit funny
- Tiny: Yesterday I watched a circus act where they were throwing knives, it was great!
- Teo: Really? Let's go watch it tonight then!
- The next day:
- Tiny: So, any good?
- Teo: Not at all, he kept throwing knives but didn't hit the girl.
- Tiny: Fainted
Truyện cười 20 - Hunger eradication and poverty reduction
- Are you still providing food aid?
- No, we're out.
- What about aid for the poor?
- No, all gone too!
- Wow, how did you do it so quickly?
- Well, I... sent them to another province.
With these super short and funny jokes in the article, we hope readers have enjoyable and relaxing moments. Wishing you all a productive day ahead!
