Top 10 Best Vova Jokes

Story 1: A Day at School with Vova

Today, the inspection team came to check the classroom, and everyone was well-prepared, except for Vova...

Biology Class.
The teacher asked a question:
- Why does a plant grow faster when we fertilize it?
- Because... because the plant can't stand the rotten smell of the fertilizer, so it grows rapidly! - Vova quickly responded.
- ?!

Composition Class.
The teacher assigned a composition with the topic: 'Describe the pig at your house.' Vova stood up to ask for an extension until the end of the week, and the teacher asked:
- Why haven't you finished your composition yet?
- Um... because my dad hasn't come back from his business trip yet!
- Ah! Is it because you want your dad to do it for you?
- No, ma'am! It's just that I want to describe it accurately, so I jumped into the pigsty to measure its length. As for... its weight, I have to wait for my dad to come back and help me tie it up to know it.
- !!!

Geography Class

Vova and Tom were discussing the topic of the four seasons. Tom asked Vova:
- Why do people call it winter when it's cold?
- Because during the cold season, if you lie down, you'll feel warm.
- Then why do people call it summer when it's hot?
- Because... when it's hot, lying outside feels cool. That's obvious.

Physics Class

Teacher: When we're at sea, if the boat happens to spring a leak,
and water rushes into the hold, what should we do?
Vova: Ma'am, we have to act quickly to prevent sinking, so we should make another, larger hole
to let the water flow out.
At the end of the class, Vova was awarded a 'ticket' to meet privately with the parents due to his 'outstanding' performance during the past period.

Story 2: Vova Treats the Teacher to Candy

After school, Vova wants to treat his teacher to candy!
Vova says:

- Teacher, do you like candy?
Teacher:

- Thank you, I really like it.
The teacher finishes speaking and takes Vova's candy and puts it in her mouth.

- Oh! It's delicious! Thank you once again!
Vova: I think so too! But I don't understand why both the dog and the cat at my house spit it out!!

Story 1: Peanut Incident

Boris invited his friend Vova to visit his grandmother. Grandma asked Boris to fix the faucet in the kitchen. While waiting in the living room, Vova seized the opportunity to finish off the plate of peanuts on the table. When leaving with his friend, Vova thanked grandma and apologized:

- Thank you for the peanuts, grandma. I accidentally ate them all and didn't leave any for you.

- No worries, they used to be a plate of chocolate! Since I don't have teeth, I sucked off all the chocolate coating around the peanuts.

Story 2: Dad is the Most Miserable

The teacher told Vova: - Your laziness in studying only makes your parents miserable.

- But my dad says it's you who make him miserable, as he has to worry a lot and sometimes even loses sleep because of you.

- Are you serious?

- Turning red, the teacher asked again. Can you elaborate?

- Yes, because you assign too much homework, my dad can't handle it.

Story 1:

During the composition class, the teacher assigned the whole class to write a test essay with the topic: If you were the director?

The whole class was diligently working on their essays, except for Vova who was sitting around poking his classmates.

- Vova, why aren't you doing your essay?

Vova replied jokingly: Well, ma'am, I'm waiting for my secretary to arrive. =))

Story 2:

During class, the teacher said:

- Whoever thinks they are foolish, please stand up!

The whole class remained silent.

After a few minutes, Vova stood up.

The teacher asked: - Vova, do you consider yourself foolish?

- No sir, but seeing you standing alone like that...

Story 1:

Today, the teacher wore a new shirt embroidered with roses on her chest. Seeing the students staring intently, the teacher was very pleased and asked, “Do you know what roses live on?”

Vova answered, “Ma'am, they live on milk, don't they?” The teacher blushed and sent Vova out to the hallway.
The principal passed by, saw Vova lingering there, asked about the situation, then said: “Vova, you're mistaken. Roses live on manure and urine.”
Vova muttered: “I didn't know their roots were that long.”

Story 2: Justice

- Vova stood at the door welcoming the young men who came to court his sister:
- I saw you kissing Maria!

- Don't say it out loud like that, here's 2 rubles for you.

- Thank you, here's 1 ruble back for you.

- Back???

- Yes, I take 1 ruble from all the guys equally

- 1 ruble.

Story 1: Mammals

Today Vova returned from school looking gloomy. His father asked:
- Why are you so sad, Vova?
Vova: I got 0 in the biology test.
- Why did you get 0?
- The teacher asked us to find 2 examples of mammals that can fly.
- Example 1: bat – excellent – Example 2: flight attendant!!!

Story 2: Can't Open

Vova often sits on the bus with Natasha.

One day, Vova gathered all his courage and handed Natasha a piece of paper, on which he wrote:
“I really like you, if you agree to be friends with me, please give this paper back to me, but if you disagree, please throw it out the window.”
A while later Natasha returned the old piece of paper, Vova happily opened it to read, it said: “the window is closed and can't be opened”

Story 1: Vova's Teacher

Vova came home from school looking gloomy.
Dad asked: Vova, why so sad?
- I got 0 in Literature.

- How come you got 0?
- The teacher told me to make a sentence using the words 'teacher'

- So what did you say?
- I said: Teacher is a bitch!

- Oh my...

- The teacher got angry, gave me 0 and sent me to see the principal.
- Then what happened?
- The principal patted my head, gave me 5000 and asked where the teacher lives!

Story 2: History Class

In the history class about France, the teacher noticed Vova being absent-minded and suddenly asked:
- Vova, who took the Bastille?

- I didn't take it, ma'am.

The teacher got angry and called the parents to school. She said:
- In the history class about France, I asked who took the Bastille, and Vova not only didn't listen but also answered: 'I didn't take it, ma'am.' Can you tolerate this?

Vova's father replied:
- My child is honest, when he says he didn't take the Bastille, it means he didn't take it. However, let me go home and see if he kept it there.

The teacher got even angrier and reported to the principal.

Surprisingly, the principal said:
- If the child took it, he would get bored and return it anyway.

Story 1: Boasting Grandpa

Natasha, Anto, and Vova were chatting.
- My grandpa is a teacher, so everyone calls him 'teacher'.

- My grandpa is even better, he's a pastor, so everyone calls him 'father'.

- My grandpa is way better, anyone who sees him from afar shouts 'oh Lord'!

- What does your grandpa do?

- My grandpa is... a 'terrorist leader'!!!

Story 2: The Report Card

Vova complained to his desk mate:

- Yesterday, I got scolded by the old man twice.

- Why?

- The first time, I showed him my report card, which was full of bad grades and the teacher's comments about my mischievous acts. The second time was when the old man realized it was his own old report card.

Story 1: Vova Goes to the Supermarket

Vova took his little brother to a supermarket, picked up a pack of sanitary pads for women, and brought it to the cashier. The cashier, puzzled, stared at the two kids, then couldn't resist her curiosity and asked.

- How old are you?

- I'm eight. - Vova replied.

The cashier continued:

- Do you know what this is for?

- Not really. But this isn't for me, it's for my little brother. – Vova pointed to his brother standing next to him.

- For your brother? – The cashier was surprised.

- That's right. He's four years old. We saw it on TV and heard people saying that if you use this, you can swim and ride a bike. But he doesn't know how to do both...

Story 2: Vova's Music Gift

One day Vova went out and found a wallet. He immediately called a live music gift program:

- Hello, yesterday I found a wallet, inside it there are 50 million in cash.

The radio host asked gently: What can we do for you now?

- In addition, there is a business card with the name and address of the deceased. I want to give a song called 'Really Lost' with a sincere thank you!

Story 1: Origin

The teacher explained that humans originated from the curiosity of Adam and Eve.

Vova raised his hand:

- You're wrong, teacher. My dad said our ancestors were MONKEYS.

Natasha turned and said:

- Vova, the teacher didn't specifically mention your family's origins.

Story 2: Biology Class

Today Vova came home from school looking gloomy.

Dad asked:

- Why are you sad?

Vova: I got 0 in biology class.

- Why did you get 0?

- The teacher asked me to find 2 examples of mammals that can fly.

- Example 1: bat - excellent

- Example 2: flight attendant!!!

Story 1: Sausage Manufacturing Machine

Vova's dad bought a small sausage factory and said to Vova:

- If we put a sheep in here, we'll get 9 sausage links. We give 2 links to the government and keep 7 for ourselves. Understand, Vova?

- Not really.

- You put the sheep in here, and sausage comes out here. 2 sausages go to the government, 7 stay. Understand now?

- Still confusing. Is there a machine that does the opposite, Dad?

- Yes. It's called your mom.

Story 2: The Truth

One day, Vova went to class and the teacher taught the students about the proverb 'hard work pays off',

The teacher gave an example: If we work hard to raise a flock of chickens, we'll eventually get delicious eggs.

Vova whispered to the kid next to him that you don't need to raise chickens to get eggs.

The teacher, furious, asked Vova to stand up and kicked him out. As he was leaving, Vova turned around and said, 'I'll raise a flock of ducks'…