Top 10 Etiquette Practices for Communicating with the Japanese

The Japanese typically don’t address others by their first names. Instead, they use honorific suffixes (-san) with someone's last name. If you watch Japanese films with subtitles, you’ll notice that 'san' is translated as ‘Mr.’, ‘Mrs.’, or ‘Ms.’ It’s the most common honorific in Japanese. In fact, there are many ways to show respect through honorifics in the language! Honorifics in Japanese come in two main forms: prefix and suffix honorifics.

The term 'San' in Japanese means 'Mr.', 'Mrs.', or 'Ms.' It indicates respect without considering marital status and is easy to use! It's the most commonly used honorific and applies to strangers, acquaintances, and colleagues. 'Sama' is reserved for individuals of higher rank (such as in a company setting) or customers. Yes, in Japan, customers are treated with the highest respect, and shop employees will refer to them using their last names. When addressing any Japanese person by name, always follow this same rule, especially with new friends or acquaintances. Among friends or with close relationships, gender-specific suffixes like '-kun' or '-chan' are used.

Perfume has become a fashion statement, and people wear it for various occasions. While some still enjoy wearing perfume, the majority of the Japanese population tends to avoid it. This may be due to Japan's climate, personal scent preferences, or their lifestyle. The Japanese tend to have a subtler body odor compared to Westerners, and daily showers are a cultural norm due to their clean habits and humid climate. Moreover, many Japanese people prefer the fresh scent of soap after a shower, so the use of perfumes or colognes is not common.

On the other hand, some individuals may have unpleasant body odor, especially when using public transportation like trains or buses, because they don't use perfume or deodorants. There’s also a belief among some that no scent is considered 'good,' and they might opt for deodorant without adding additional fragrances. Terms like “scent harassment” or “sume-hara” were coined in Japan to describe the discomfort caused by strong smells. Depending on individual sensitivities, strong perfumes may cause headaches or nausea for some people, particularly when they’re exposed to it for a prolonged period. While some Japanese individuals can tolerate the scent of perfumes, if a Japanese person complains about your perfume or fabric softener, it’s important to pay attention to how much you're using.

Pouring drinks for those around you is a common gesture of appreciation and respect in Japanese social culture. At social gatherings, especially among colleagues, ensure that you don’t begin eating or drinking before the most senior person or the highest-ranking member starts. In office settings, this is typically your boss or the head of the company. In family gatherings, this tradition is usually observed for the father or the eldest son.

Refusing food is generally considered rude, not just in Japan. If you don’t like a dish being offered, it’s polite to accept it, but you are not obliged to eat it. Similarly, if you are offered a drink you don’t enjoy, simply leave your glass untouched and avoid drinking it all. No one will refill or replace your drink unless you finish it. If the alcohol doesn’t suit your taste or you simply wish for something different, you can opt for a cup of oolong tea instead. And remember to say 'kanpai' (cheers!) before finishing your drink.

The Japanese take great pride in their cuisine, preparing each dish with meticulous care to achieve the perfect balance of flavor and color. It’s uncommon and considered disrespectful to alter dishes according to personal preference. The only acceptable reason to refuse food is due to allergies or dietary restrictions. Additionally, you should always eat rice first, followed by a few other dishes, and then return to rice. Rice often serves as a palate cleanser to neutralize strong flavors, allowing you to better savor the tastes of other foods.

Most restaurants and cafes in Japan have designated areas for you to place your used trays and dishes so staff can easily clear them away. If no such area is provided, make sure to neatly arrange your plate and utensils, with chopsticks on the rest and any lids placed on their respective dishes. Particularly, avoid canceling restaurant reservations at the last minute. Last-minute cancellations, especially at upscale restaurants, can waste the considerable preparation efforts made in anticipation of your visit.

Tipping in restaurants and hotels is a common practice in many countries as a way of showing gratitude. However, if you leave a tip in Japan, you will almost certainly find a staff member chasing after you to return the money. Despite Japan being famous for its omotenashi (hospitality) and exceptional customer service, tipping is not a practice here. In Japan, tipping is considered unnecessary and even inappropriate.

Whether it's in a restaurant, hotel, hair salon, or even a taxi, tipping is never expected or accepted in Japan. Attempting to give a tip can often cause confusion, and it may even be seen as rude or insulting. Simply saying “arigato” (thank you) is enough to show your appreciation. Instead of offering money, focus on supporting the service or business in other ways.

One meaningful way to express your gratitude is by providing honest and constructive feedback about the service. This feedback can help your favorite restaurants or hotels improve their service quality, which in turn benefits their business. Additionally, purchasing official merchandise such as t-shirts or mugs can help promote the businesses you support.

Visiting sacred places and praying has been a cherished tradition in Japan, especially during the New Year. At this time, long lines form outside major shrines as people pray for a prosperous year ahead. It’s crucial to behave respectfully and modestly in these spiritual spaces, as this is a fundamental part of Japanese culture. Always bow slightly before entering a torii gate, and avoid walking down the center of the path leading to the shrine, as the space between the gate and the path is considered sacred and reserved for the gods, not humans.

When you arrive at a shrine, offer a respectful bow, then gently toss a coin into the offering box. Many Japanese believe that using a 5-yen coin increases the chances of finding a soulmate, as “go-en” sounds like the Japanese word for “relationship.” However, this is more of a popular myth—gods existed long before the yen coin. If there’s a bell, ring it two or three times to signal your presence. Then bow deeply twice, until your body forms a 90-degree angle. Clap your hands twice, with your left hand slightly forward. Show your respect, thank the gods, and finish with one final deep bow before leaving.

Hot spring facilities, or onsen, typically provide both large and small towels for guests, though some onsen may require guests to bring their own supplies or charge an additional fee. Tattoos may affect your ability to use certain onsen, as members of criminal organizations such as the Yakuza are known for their tattoos. As of around 2015, many onsen have prohibited tattooed individuals from using their facilities. It’s also important to note that drinking alcohol while in the hot spring, whether indoors or outdoors, is not permitted.

Hotels and traditional ryokan inns that offer onsen facilities often make them available to the public for a fee. Similar to swimming pools, guests are required to wash themselves thoroughly before entering the hot springs. In Japan, it’s customary to cleanse your body before soaking in the hot water. Everyone has a responsibility to keep public or private bath areas clean, especially in shared spaces. Visitors may choose to take a quick shower to ensure that soap does not contaminate the onsen. While many hot spring areas are shared, some facilities may have separate sections for men and women.

Many people tend to jump in and share their opinions right after someone else finishes speaking. Even worse, interrupting a Japanese person before they finish telling their story is considered very rude. Both of these actions are regarded as impolite in Japanese culture, particularly when interacting with older individuals. Avoiding excessive talking or interrupting is not only encouraged in Japan but is also widely appreciated elsewhere. It's important to remember that the Japanese will rarely interrupt you when you're speaking, so you should reciprocate that respect by leaving room for them to respond when it’s your turn to talk.

You can avoid talking too much or interrupting by practicing the art of listening. Paying close attention when someone else is speaking is a social skill that anyone can master. With a few scientifically-backed tips, you can become a better communicator by simply waiting a few seconds after someone has finished speaking before responding. This brief pause allows you the opportunity to continue the conversation and ask thoughtful questions, especially when engaging with a Japanese person.

Humility is highly valued in Japan, so boasting is generally frowned upon, no matter how successful you may be. Even when Japanese people excel and receive many compliments, they often remain humble, admitting that they still have room for improvement. Additionally, Japan's culture of apology is well-known, with the act of apologizing being an important part of everyday life.

Japanese people will apologize when they feel they have done something wrong or want to make amends. The proper way of apologizing is very important in Japan. There are different levels of apologies depending on the severity of the situation: “Sumimasen” is a polite apology used with acquaintances and strangers, while “Gomen” is a more casual apology among friends and family. Some may even offer a gift as part of their apology. The sincerity of an apology in Japan is not just about the words you use; your tone and body language are equally crucial in conveying the right level of remorse.

Japan has a rich cultural heritage, ancient traditions, and many superstitions to consider when giving gifts. Whether you're sending a gift to thank a host or presenting a gift to a business partner, there are specific customs you should follow. The numbers, colors, and even symbols on the gift can unintentionally cause offense if their meanings aren't understood. For example, avoid numbers like 4, 9, and 43, as they carry negative connotations (e.g., don't give four pieces of cake or four flowers).

Gift exchange plays a key role in Japanese business etiquette and social customs. Whether it's for your boss, a colleague, or a friend, it's important to know certain practices. Gift-giving is also common at the end and middle of the year as a way to express gratitude. These gifts are often exchanged between teachers, students, colleagues, and business partners. If someone gives you a gift, it's important to reciprocate. If you're visiting a Japanese home, always bring a small gift (such as cakes, cookies, or flowers). When presenting a gift, use both hands, and this applies when receiving as well. If the gift is a personal gesture, offer it at the end of your visit, not at the beginning as in Western cultures.