Top 10 Most Common Mistakes Mothers Make When Raising Young Children

Caring for and educating children within the family is always a top concern for grandparents, parents. However, each generation has different perspectives and methods of raising and educating children. Traditional or modern methods of care and education are always a difficult question in every family. Society still values ​​multi-generational families. Among them, the life experiences of grandparents are valuable to maintain the good traditional values of Vietnamese families. However, to choose valuable experiences, combined with new scientific knowledge, it is necessary to listen to and respect each other among family members. Because the common goal is still to build a warm family, create the best development environment for children.

For those who are first-time mothers, the advice of predecessors is truly useful. When mothers are constantly confused about whether what they are doing is right or not? Or how to deal with a picky eater or a crying baby? And mothers eagerly apply various methods shared by others, but the results are still uncertain. The best thing is for mothers to follow their instincts, the advice is really helpful, but the mother's decision is the most important, and only the mother truly understands what the baby wants and needs.

Marriage is about living together for a lifetime. So why not create a comfortable, peaceful life together? Because if you torture each other mentally, sooner or later, you won't be able to bear it and get divorced. Maintaining and nurturing common interests is a secret recipe for happy couples. When spouses can share their joys, passions, and constantly explore new things together, their marriage will surely endure over time. Not every couple has the same interests and enthusiasms, but what matters is that you must respect each other.

The pressure and worry of raising children often make many mothers feel tired and busy, leaving no time to think about their husbands. This is unfair to the fathers. In fact, when becoming a father, men also have many thoughts and worries about their new role. Arrange some free time or weekends to warm up your relationship with your husband. You don't need extravagant pleasures; just being together and enjoying a romantic movie can bring you closer.

Today, many couples are so busy with work or their individual relationships that they forget the attractions of their spouses. Married life will quickly become dull if we don't know how to nurture and discover new things together. Let's exchange and find common interests so that we always have many happy moments together. Besides the emotional harmony, share with your spouse the difficulties and hardships on the motherhood journey, as his presence is necessary in this journey.

When a child is born, parents often feel like they're losing control of their lives. For instance, a mother may want to take a relaxing bath, but the baby wakes up and starts crying. It's not as terrible as doomsday, but if it happens continuously and lasts for an unknown period, exhaustion accumulates, making the mother feel drained. It's uncomfortable. Meanwhile, mothers also have their own needs. However, when they think a bit about themselves, they start feeling guilty, and others think they're exaggerating their problems. They might argue that in the past, grandmothers didn't even have washing machines, yet they still had to raise and care for children.

After giving birth, during maternity leave or staying at home to care for the child, many mothers think they'll have plenty of time, so they take the opportunity to rest. Don't be mistaken, mothers; time passes quickly, and taking care of a child is indeed very busy with countless nameless tasks, leaving no time to do what you want or even to pay attention to yourself.

Caring for your child keeps you busy, causing you to 'forget' to take care of yourself. And perhaps it even extends until the child is 4-5 years old. Indeed, in today's modern life, alongside taking care of the family, many talented women also have to manage their careers, businesses, and personal branding. Moreover, for postpartum mothers, the endless days at home taking care of the child and the mountain of work never seem to end; they forget that they themselves also need rest and care. However, managing time effectively is something everyone must learn. The secret is: Consider self-care or spending time loving yourself as a priority to implement every day.

Never mistreat yourself and turn yourself into a full-fledged breastfeeding mother who always feels overwhelmed. Spending a little time each day while your baby sleeps to relax and do what you love, like listening to music or reading books, is wise. Make a 'commitment' to spend 30 minutes each day exercising, taking care of your skin, listening to your favorite music… and maintain it every day; you'll gradually realize that spending time on yourself isn't as difficult and time-consuming as you think!

Parents protect their children when they are young, but they cannot shelter them forever. As children grow older, parents age, and the children need to walk on their own two feet. However, not allowing children to become independent can lead to them becoming overly dependent on their parents. They might not know how to do household chores, take care of themselves, learn independently, or express their own opinions. So, parents should let their children make their own decisions and become independent to avoid dependence on their parents as they grow up. Overprotecting children can cause them to become unbalanced in their behaviors as they grow older. Firstly, children may tend to fear everything. They fear walking alone and fear the risks they might face when doing something. Secondly, children may also rebel and do things they have never done before to prove themselves, including dangerous or prohibited activities.

Usually, parents who overprotect their children cause them to lack the skills to protect themselves. They seem to rely on their parents for everything, even when bullied. For example, in school, if someone takes a child's pen or belongings, the child cannot react and only knows to report to their parents. Moreover, scientists have found that children raised in overly protective families often lack confidence and self-esteem. They seem hesitant to do anything, lacking the concept of self-esteem. Children lacking the ability to protect themselves lead to anyone being able to bully them.

Among the eloquent phrases often used to describe women, the one I fear the most is 'sacrifice.' Throughout poetry from past to present, the virtue of sacrifice has been praised as an admirable quality expected of women, in line with traditional beliefs and, of course, still prevalent in modern society. Among the highest accolades bestowed upon women by the state institutions is: 'Excellent in state affairs, adept in household affairs.' If considered seriously, I find that the women who receive this accolade are indeed... superheroes. The burden of their public duties is no less than that of men, and they also have to shoulder the additional burden of 'managing household affairs,' truly requiring three heads and six hands.

But they do not realize that a happy family, a civilized society should never be built on the sacrifice of anyone, let alone the sacrifice of a weak woman. What both parties do for each other when in love, when building a family should be mutual consent. Do not pressure your partner with your sacrifice, nor make anyone sacrifice for you. Love should be the lightest thing in life, not burdened with a colossal account between giving and receiving. I really like a saying I read somewhere long ago: In a family, when the mother is happy, the family is happy. The warmth of a home should be nurtured by all members together, not built upon the sacrifice of the wife, the mother.

Mothers, always remember that besides yourself, there is also your husband or other family members. Don't juggle too many tasks. Do what you prioritize first and feel necessary, such as taking care of the children, teaching them... then think about other tasks like household chores, clothing, tidying up the table, taking care of pets. If you feel overwhelmed, then don't juggle too much, okay? It will only lead you into an inescapable mess.

Sleep is a vital necessity for our bodies. It accounts for one-third of each person's lifetime. During sleep, our bodies release essential hormones to facilitate metabolism, accumulate necessary energy for daily activities, and support the body's growth process. It helps the brain organize information systematically, establish, and reinforce long-term memory. This is crucial for body development and adaptation to the living environment.

The long-term health consequences will far outweigh the reasons for sleeping less. Sleeping an extra 2 hours per night not only improves overall health but also brings significant changes in mental health. Optimizing fat burning time, energy replenishment, and self-repair time are just two of the many benefits of getting enough sleep. Your body will be very grateful if you get enough sleep every day. Despite being busy, mothers should take advantage of any opportunity to sleep to regain energy to take care of their beloved babies. Also, to ensure their own health so that they always feel comfortable and not tired or irritable.

Many parents want their children to improve, so they compare them to others. Whether it's siblings or friends' children. Comparing will make the child feel their self-esteem is hurt and that they are inferior. This negatively affects children more than positively. One reason you shouldn't compare your child to others is that it touches their self-esteem. How would you feel if you were constantly compared to others? Children's inferiority complex originates from childhood. So don't make the child feel they are inferior to others. You don't want to make the child arrogant, but don't make them feel worthless either.

Each child is an individual, with their own talents and interests. This is easily explained when one child has a musical talent, while another does not. A child without musical talent may excel in sports or love reading. No child is better than another comprehensively. Let the child develop their own interests and abilities. Let the child feel that they don't need to be like siblings, or the children of a friend of their parents. Comparing children to others risks making them feel inferior. Over time, your child will think they are really inferior and will believe it. The child will think why bother trying when they won't succeed? So the child will always believe they are inferior and fail.

Taking photos is no longer unfamiliar in travel and daily life, capturing moments to reminisce about our youth. Wandering on the roads, the most vivid and beautiful images are recorded by our eyes and stored in the treasure trove of memories. But life, along with memories, presents countless moments that compel us to remember and embrace. Unconsciously, our eyes, over decades, memorize numerous frames of life's film, so that when we pause, we struggle amidst the multitude of memory drawers, unsure which to open to recall what's worth remembering, to cherish what we once passionately pursued.

Your little one will grow up so fast, and you won't be able to remember all the adorable, funny moments or every developmental milestone. Preserving your child's photos, keeping a diary... is something you should do to create memories for your little one as they grow up. You don't have to wait until your child is wearing nice clothes or posing for pictures. Natural, candid photos taken randomly in daily life can become the most impressive moments of your child's childhood. Your child will be curious to know what their favorite toy looked like when they were little. Help your child not forget their teddy bear or cute doll by capturing moments of joy with their beloved toy.

As a first-time mom, you might feel overwhelmed when you see baby items because there are so many options, ranging in size, color, and cuteness. They look adorable, and it's hard to resist buying them for your little one. However, your goal is to purchase essential items for your baby and avoid items that may cause discomfort or end up unused. Therefore, you need to consider factors such as softness, safety, durability... before considering the cuteness of the items.

Shopping for your baby is a matter of concern. Whether it's out of love for your child, shopping habits, or the allure of baby products like clothes, shoes, and socks, moms need to exercise restraint. You should make a list of what is truly necessary and buy just enough because your baby will grow up very quickly. When buying clothes for your baby, opt for sizes that are 1.5 to 2 times larger than your baby's age in months, at least until they are 2 years old. If you see cute clothes for your baby and buy too many sizes 0-3 months, it will be a waste because your baby won't like it!

Adults often dislike seeing their children crying, getting angry, or throwing toys. Therefore, parents often cannot control their emotions and end up shouting or scolding their children. If you scold your child with the hope of changing their behavior, you should stop right away because it's not effective. When people feel angry or stressed, the brain releases cortisol, activating the 'fight or flight' response. This is a natural physiological reaction when the cognitive center of the brain shuts down and the emotional center takes over completely. That's why when we scold children, two things can happen: either they freeze and do nothing, ignoring their parents' words, or they react by yelling and throwing tantrums. And neither of these ways is a good way to control negative emotions.

But realizing the ineffectiveness of scolding often doesn't solve the problem. Because rarely do parents use scolding as an educational method. Most of the time, we scold our children not to teach them, but to relieve our anger, it's our reaction to things not going as planned. Therefore, instead of scolding and telling your child to stop crying, you should try to find out where the problem lies.

Scolding children when they cry or get angry is not good because negative emotions need to be relieved. This is the foundation of mental health. The ability to express negative emotions is necessary for adults. Children will need this in the future. So, let them develop in the right direction from an early age.