1. Don't think you lost them; think they lost you
For anyone going through a breakup, the most challenging part is standing still and feeling the shattering. Crying, hurting, feeling lost because the love once devoted to someone is now rejected. Is it a good way to overcome the pain by regretting the loss? The answer is no. Instead of clinging, set the mindset that 'they lost you.' It means the loss is theirs, not yours, and distancing yourself is a big mistake. At this point, you will retain your value, maintain optimism, and confidently overcome the breakup as quickly as possible.
Đừng nghĩ là mình mất họ, mà hãy nghĩ là họ đã đánh mất mình
2. Tìm lại những sở thích và niềm đam mê
Trong thời gian yêu đương, bạn đã bỏ qua hết những niềm đam mê, sở thích của mình. Và đây chính là thời điểm không thể phù hợp hơn để bạn tìm lại chúng. Hãy gác lại mọi đau buồn, và làm những gì bạn thích. Gặp gỡ bạn bè, đi ăn uống, vui chơi, mua sắm… Hoặc bạn có thể tìm cho mình một niềm đam mê mới, bạn có thể học chơi một loại nhạc cụ nào đấy, hay học vẽ tranh, lấy cảm hứng từ những điều bình dị nhất xung quanh, hay vào bếp nấu những món ngon bạn thích… Hãy bắt tay vào làm đi, niềm đam mê sẽ khiến bạn không còn nhiều thời gian để đau buồn nữa.
Tìm lại những sở thích và niềm đam mê
3. Chấp nhận thực tế rằng bạn không thể kiểm soát mọi thứ
Với nhiều lý do, mâu thuẫn, trục trặc trong mối quan hệ tình cảm không thể tháo gỡ hay giải quyết, đừng nên tự dằn vặt bản thân và hãy chấp nhận thực tế rằng bạn không thể kiểm soát mọi thứ hoặc cải thiện tình hình. Nếu bạn cố ép mình vào những suy nghĩ “vì đâu”, “làm thế nào”, “tình hình ra sao”… thì bạn đang tự tìm đến nỗi sợ hãi và tuyệt vọng. Trong vài trường hợp xấu, bạn có thể rơi vào trạng thái trầm cảm, tự kỷ.
Chấp nhận thực tế rằng bạn không thể kiểm soát mọi thứ
4. Cho phép bản thân có một chút buồn, nhưng không được có chút hối tiếc
Bạn có biết, không chỉ có tiếng cười mới có tác dụng chữa lành nhiều nỗi đau mà tiếng khóc cũng có tác dụng tương tự như vậy. Có thể bạn cho rằng đó chỉ là một sự ngẫu nhiên khi bạn cảm thấy tốt hơn sau khi đã khóc thỏa thích. Không phải vậy, có nhiều lý do sinh lý gây nên kết quả này. Nhiều nhà tâm lý cũng đã chứng minh rằng những giọt nước mắt từ cảm xúc của bạn có tác dụng tẩy sạch các suy nghĩ tiêu cực. Chính vì thế, bạn có thể dành ra một khoảng thời gian để khóc cho thỏa nỗi đau của bạn. Bạn cần nhớ rằng, bạn cho mình một khoảng thời gian nhất định để khóc và đau buồn. Sau khoảng thời gian đó, bạn hãy quay trở về cuộc sống bình thường của bạn và thưởng thức cuộc sống đó.
Allow Yourself to Feel a Bit Sad, But No Regrets Allowed
Open your heart, regularly smile with everyone, and you'll forget why you ever cried. Join social activities, spend time having fun, invite friends to travel to places you've always wanted to go. Don't confine yourself at home; step out into the vast world to explore. Many interesting things are waiting for you ahead.
Smile, Let's Laugh!
6. Let Go and Set New Plans
During your time together, there were surely shared plans for the present and future. After the breakup, swiftly let go and abandon all of them. Instead, set new plans for your passions and interests. Take charge of a life where you don't let yourself be slowed down by unfinished business.
Let Go and Redefine Plans
Returning to the single status might make you feel lonely and empty. What you need to do now is to redirect yourself. Meet up with your close group of friends, schedule dinners with colleagues, go shopping, travel... Don't let a single moment be occupied by sad thoughts. Find joy in the things around you.
Rediscover Yourself
8. Don't Be Ashamed, Be Proud
You may feel pitiful, like a loser in the game of love... Dismiss those thoughts and assume in your mind that you're just unlucky this time. You might have stumbled this time, but that doesn't mean you won't have another chance. Life holds many surprises ahead, and be proud that you are ready to embrace countless new possibilities, maybe even someone else who appreciates your worth. It's the best way to move past the pain, finding confidence in the future.
Don't Be Ashamed, Be Proud
9. Avoid Comparing Yourself to Others
In love, never compare one person to another. Your ex may have flaws, may not measure up to someone else, but don't impose an idealized image on your future relationships. After a breakup, comparing yourself to others, especially seemingly happy couples, can lead to more emotional distress. Be strong, be yourself, and don't waste time measuring up to anyone else.
Avoid Comparing Yourself to Others
10. Don't Add New Friends
Right after a breakup is the perfect time to reconnect with old friends you may have neglected while immersed in your relationship. They understand you, know your interests, and will avoid triggering your sadness. Hanging out with them can help you release a lot of built-up sorrow. Of course, choose your company wisely to avoid unnecessary drama.
Don't rush into dating someone new when your emotional wounds are still fresh. It might distract you temporarily but could lead to emotional distress for both you and the new person. Only open yourself up to new relationships when you're truly ready and have accepted that the past is behind you.
Avoid Adding New Friends
11. Open Up to Family and Friends
When your long-term relationship shatters, resist the urge to share the story with everyone. Doing so might lead others to view you with pity. Pour your heart out to your closest friends, cry as much as you need with them, but avoid displaying your sorrow in front of strangers. Your family and true friends are the ones who genuinely care and listen to your thoughts and feelings. Just be open to yourself, express your discomfort, and share how painful the breakup has been. If you feel like crying, go ahead and cry; it's a cathartic release, and the sadness will eventually fade away.
Share with Family and Friends
12. Express Your Emotions in Writing
If you prefer not to share with anyone, jot down the intricate, messy emotions in a journal or personal blog. Write about unrelated things, your dreams, observations about friends, colleagues, or even the neighbor's cat. It will help release the inner sadness. Surely, when you read it later, you might even laugh at how vulnerable and silly you were at that moment.
Pour Your Emotions on Paper
13. Embrace the Busy Life
While going through a breakup, one of the best things you can do for yourself is to keep busy. Clean your room, stay longer at the office, and plan a project you've been wanting to do for a while. Actively find joy in work and strive for recognition or a raise. If you let yourself have too much free time, you'll likely dwell on the past, making the healing process longer and much more challenging.
Embrace a Busy Lifestyle
After a breakup, why not let your body relax by traveling somewhere for a few days? The natural scenery and new people will help you feel more relaxed. You can go to places you've wanted to visit for a long time but haven't had the chance to explore sooner.
Travel and Explore
15. Disconnect from the Online World
A helpful post-breakup tip is to distance yourself from the internet. If you and your ex shared a long-lasting love, there must have been many messages and emails with loving words exchanged. Don't try to open those old chat windows or emails to reread and drown in the sorrow. Also, avoid seeking articles about love or looking at photos of couples deeply in love on Facebook. They will only make you sadder and compare yourself to others - something to avoid at this time.
Take a Break
16. Avoid Drowning Sorrows in Alcohol or Rushing into New Relationships
Thinking that a new relationship or indulging in alcohol will help you forget the past? Well, you're mistaken. Seeking solace in these will only intensify your pain. The best approach after a breakup is to simplify everything, avoiding excessive bitterness or destructive habits like alcohol. Don't rush into another relationship to forget someone, as it will only cause more harm. Take a step back, focus on yourself, and let time heal the wounds.
Avoid Diving into Alcohol or New Relationships