Top 20 Funniest Love Stories

Pre-Wedding Dialogue

Her: Hi there!!

Him: Oh, phew, finally....

Her: Do you want me to go?

Him: No, no, what's wrong with you? I can't imagine how terrible that would be....

Her: Do you love me?

Him: Of course I do!! All day and night.

Her: Have you ever lied to me?

Him: Never. Why would you ask that?

Her: Will you kiss me?

Him: Of course, whenever I can.

Her: Do you hit me?

Him: No, why would I? You always know what kind of person I am....

Her: Can I trust you?

Him: Yes!

Her: Oh love!! Post-Wedding Dialogue (read from bottom up)

Jim tells his mistress: - Whatever you want, I'll do it, but shaving my beard is never going to happen. At home, he tells his wife: - I keep the beard to prove my loyalty to you.

One day, Jim's mistress suspects that Jim is a married man. She says: - I won't love you anymore if you don't shave your beard.

Despite Jim's pleading, the girl still disagrees, and finally, Jim has to give in and shave off his beard. That night, when Jim returns home, he feels remorse for deceiving his loyal wife and fears having to confess the truth.

Jim gently climbs into bed next to his wife. She immediately turns to hug him and whispers: Darling, not tonight, your bearded husband will come home at any moment!!!

Two guys chatting, one asks:

- Hey! What's your biggest fear when going out with your girlfriend?

- I'm extremely afraid if it's raining while I'm out with my girlfriend!

The other guy asks in surprise:

- Scared, sure, but 'extremely afraid'?

- Yeah, but if you rush into taking shelter from the rain and end up in a restaurant or a fashion store!

- That's indeed terrifying.

Seeing his roommate looking down, Tý asked:

- What's wrong, Tèo? Heartbroken?

Tèo sighed and replied:

- Why are girls so hard to understand? Clearly, I tried my best to cater to her wishes, yet she's still upset.

- What happened? Tell me the whole story!

- You know I've been pursuing Tũn for a long time! Yesterday, she suddenly felt sad and wanted to go somewhere to cry loudly and freely. Asked me if I knew where to take her. - Tèo recounted.

Tý nodded:

- Good opportunity to win her over! So, where did you take her?

Tèo sighed and replied:

- After hearing that, I took her to a funeral. Somehow she blocked me on Facebook and my phone. Clearly said she wanted to go somewhere to cry loudly, what else does she expect?

- !!!

Dave sees his best friend sitting alone drinking beer in the corner of the bar. Curious, he asks:

- What's up, Thomas? You look down.

Thomas looks up at Dave with a sad expression and says:

- Do you remember the girl I've been dating online for half a year? She broke up with me yesterday!

- What happened? - Dave is surprised - Didn't you two plan to meet for the first time yesterday?

Thomas sighs:

- I don't know anymore. I clearly followed my mom's advice, but she reacted like that!

Dave feels puzzled:

- What did your mom advise?

Thomas replies:

- My mom advised that on the first date, it's best to buy ingredients and cook a romantic dinner at home to surprise her.

- That's a great idea! - Dave finds it confusing.

Thomas sighs:

- I thought so too. Yesterday, I intentionally went to the supermarket early to buy a lot of cooking ingredients. Yet, she refused to cook and insisted on leaving, which is very strange!

- !!!

In the evening, Tồ returns to the dormitory with a sad look, holding a gift box. His roommate asks curiously:

- What's wrong? You look miserable!

Tồ sighs and says:

- I got dumped by Tũn! Just gave her a birthday present and she turned away.

- How rude! - his friend exclaims - What did you give her that made her angry?

Tồ frustratedly explains:

- You know Tũn is a fire girl, and she always prefers to use items that match her element. The other day, I asked her what she'd like for her birthday. She said anything that matches the fire element would do. Today is her birthday, so I bought her a mini gas stove, but she unexpectedly demanded a breakup. The gift matches the fire element, what else does she want.

- !!!

A couple went to visit Perfume Pagoda together. Sitting on the boat, the girl asked:

- If I were the boat, what would you be?

- I would be the river for you to row through.

The girl asked again:

- If I were the mountain, then?

- I would be the green tree covering all four seasons.

Then she asked:

- If I were that bridge over there?

- I would be the clear water flowing beneath.

Encountering a monk walking out, the girl asked:

- If I were to become a nun, then?

- I would be the little monk by your side day and night.

Seeing a boy leading a cow, the girl asked:

- Are you that boy herding the cow?

- Then... I would be that cow for you to lead.

Someone else chimed in:

- But sir, that cow is a castrated one, not a bull!

At the bus stop, a couple flirted with each other in a cheesy way. The guy said:

- Darling, I love you!

The girl blushed:

- I love you too, but my love for you is twice as much as yours.

The guy chuckled:

- Is that so? Then I love you three times more than you love me!

A young man with glasses sitting next to them smirked:

- Let's denote the love of the man and the woman as x and y, respectively. We have the equations: y = 2x; x = 3y. Solving, we get: x = y = 0. It means there's no love here at all!

- !!!

>> Continue reading

- Her: Have you ever smoked?

- Him: Never.

- Her: So you don't drink alcohol either?

- Him: I've never had a drop of alcohol in my life.

- Her: What about gambling? You must have tried that.

- Him: Never, you know that.

- Her: So, besides me, do you pay attention to any other girl?

- Him: You have to trust me. I only have eyes for you!

- Her: But you must have some bad habit, right?

- Him: Well, occasionally I do tend to tell lies.

The groom inspected the wedding hall, remarking to his friend:

- The wedding decor seems quite intricate, almost like a maze of symbols.

- What do you mean by intricate? - the friend asked, puzzled.

- Well... there are many horizontal and vertical lines, but they all seem to lead to dead ends!

The friend chuckled knowingly:

- You're quite sensitive! After your honeymoon, you'll find that observation to be spot on.

Two guys arrived at the girl's house for a visit, but she was out. Both of them sat waiting, each wanting the other to leave first. One guy asked:

- What time is it?

- Half past nine. Are you in a rush?

- No. I'm just afraid you'll be late.

Hearing that, the other guy casually took out a thick novel from his bag and started reading. The first guy remained relaxed and said:

- When you're done reading, lend it to me, okay?

Two lonely elderly people living in a nursing home for a long time decided to go out for dinner and watch a movie together. Upon returning, noticing her friend looking down, the roommate asked:

- What's bothering you?

- I had to go out with this old fool, I had to slap him three times!

- That's terrible! At his age, he should feel ashamed when making advances towards you!

- He didn't make any advances. I had to slap him three times to see if he was asleep or already dead.

At the flower shop, a middle-aged man selects 3 roses and tells the saleswoman:

- These flowers are for my wife on our wedding anniversary. Please attach a beautiful silk ribbon with the inscription: 'Each flower marks a year of happiness in our marriage'.

The saleswoman shows emotion:

- You've only been married for 3 years, right?

- No, for 30 years.