Top 25 Best Ways to Build a Lasting Marriage

Studies have shown: nearly half of men who have had affairs say they lacked satisfaction with their spouses.

When men feel disconnected and unappreciated by their wives, they become susceptible to being hurt and falling into the arms of women who know how to indulge them. And, of course, the reverse happens with women.

Seemingly inevitable in relationships. If you don't know how to spend time together, your relationship will gradually cool down, losing the warmth it had at the beginning. Many think they have an extremely busy life with work, children, household chores, social relationships, slowly losing time for their fiance.

However, 'spending time together' is simply enjoying an evening out, watching a movie together, sharing concerns about life. Go back to being yourself as in the dating days to rediscover each other.

Perhaps you always wish he knew how to neatly fold socks, or that he would comfortably converse with your friends without getting defensive. But do you sometimes forget that his somewhat messy and whimsical nature is what captivated you from the first meeting?

'One thing we notice with happy couples is that they understand the uniqueness of their spouse, and they don't try to change them' - Dr. Darren Wilk, Vancouver, British Columbia. Instead of trying to make them correct various flaws, they focus on their spouse's strengths.

It's no surprise that 'intimacy' is one of the most common factors leading to breakdowns in couples. Therefore, a happy marriage is always accompanied by a satisfying intimate life.

Hence, create intimate moments to get closer to your spouse, infusing your family life with added energy.

Admit it, sometimes all you want to do is lazily lounge on the couch alone, watch TV, and not worry about kids, chores, or your husband. We need to understand that everyone deserves some time alone to feel more relaxed.

So, don't overthink or nag every time your husband suddenly goes 'missing' somewhere. However, comfort doesn't mean doing whatever you want. You should have some ground rules, for example: not going out more than 2 times a week or not coming home later than 11 PM,...

If you're not familiar with your husband's close friends, or vice versa, he isn't acquainted with your girlfriends, organize group outings to get to know each other.

Make sure your husband will be very happy if his wife understands and empathizes with his 'battle buddies' instead of frequently hearing her say negative things like 'Your friends are not good at all' or 'Your friends are all weird.'

Every day, take a moment to reflect and jot down three wonderful things about your marriage. Doing so, each time there's a disagreement, look at it and ask yourself, 'Is what we're arguing about worth it?'.

Actively cherish the happy moments in your marriage every day, and the results will pleasantly surprise you.

After years of bearing the pain of childbirth, it's easy to let your appearance slide. Remember the first time you met your spouse. Did you go out with tight-fitting, greasy pants or forget to brush your teeth? It doesn't mean you have to look like a movie star every time you get close to your spouse.

But they always say, 'Men love with their eyes,' so why not take the time to care, pay a little attention to your own appearance? Just adopt a skincare routine, moisturize your lips, nourish your hair—nothing too elaborate, but highlight the value of yourself.

Your spouse will feel wonderful if you have a good relationship with their family and relatives. Many have pointed out that their marriage reached the brink because they didn't know how to care for their spouse's relatives. It's really simple: Be friendly with the extended family, ask how their lives are when you meet, and give them sincere compliments.

Your spouse's parents are also people who need care, so open your heart to them even more. Doing so, instead of scrutinizing your spouse's relatives, you'll find life much more enjoyable. However, when dealing with 'difficult' relatives whom you can't get close to, the best approach is to show a moderate level of concern, rather than being confrontational or engaging in a tit-for-tat situation.

Regular communication and open exchanges about life issues between you two will contribute to the lasting quality of your marital life.

Keep in mind that effective communication, even with imperfect information, is the key to preventing misunderstandings and conflicts. Therefore, your efficient communication will naturally lead to a strong and long-lasting marriage.

Money is often the root cause of many issues. Therefore, if possible, each person should strive for financial independence to avoid relying too much on their spouse.

Otherwise, you should have a clear budget plan and communicate it to your spouse. Be careful with financial matters because now you are not living alone; you are sharing your life with someone else and possibly with children.

Whether a man or a woman, after starting a family, you still need to focus on personal development. Being content with life and finding joy and happiness with your spouse is more achievable when you bring your best self into the relationship.

Having your own career and passions will also alleviate the burden and pressure on your spouse, as they won't have to worry about 'raising' you.

Marriage is a journey with its fair share of twists and turns. There will be times when you feel unsatisfied with your life companion. What's crucial during challenging times is for both partners to connect, respect each other, and never threaten divorce.

Both must be aware of the need to overcome difficult periods and find ways to bring the spouses back together. It's unrealistic to believe that you and your spouse will always understand each other and stay happy throughout life.

Tolerance is not just for those you feel compelled to overlook for the sake of social relationships; it's also crucial for a lasting marriage.

In marriage, lacking tolerance can turn trivial matters and life's small nuances into reasons for mutual disdain. Without tolerance, you might be ready to trample over the other half without understanding the real issues.

In the realm of married life, individuals harbor different thoughts and emotions, making each couple a unique love story with its own shades of depth. At times, a notion may unconsciously creep into our minds – the act of comparison when in love, a seemingly unconstructive perspective in a relationship. Some adhere to the belief that “the grass is always greener on the other side.”

Oftentimes, the seemingly perfect images of couples on social media can instill admiration and unintentionally impose those standards of happiness onto your significant other. Each person has their unique way of expressing love; it doesn't always have to conform to idealized portrayals.

During arguments, anger can easily lead you to utter harsh words, even mentioning divorce. While you may later calm down and attempt to rectify the mistake, not every hurt caused by spoken words can be salvaged.

Remind yourself to 'pause' whenever you feel the urge to offend the other person. If you sense you cannot control yourself, temporarily halt the argument and change the atmosphere to regain composure. This will help both of you avoid regrettable consequences caused by anger.

Don't expect your partner to read your emotions or envision a future where they bring breakfast to your bed or automatically do the dishes. If that can never happen, it's best not to dream about it.

Men can express their love in many ways for their partners, and they don't necessarily have to step into the kitchen to fully demonstrate their affection.

Romance isn't about a luxurious trip, an expensive meal, or a lavish gift. Instead, it thrives in the simple things, helping couples bond amidst the routine of everyday life. Each time you show appreciation for your partner, you keep the essence of romance alive amid the whirlwind of daily life.

The emotional connection between partners will endure no matter how challenging married life becomes.

For instance, you dedicate an hour of your scarce time to care for your partner when they are feeling down or facing work-related shocks. Or when your partner wants to share a nightmare, and you respond with, 'I'm in a hurry right now, but go ahead and tell me briefly; tonight, we can discuss it in detail.' Both examples demonstrate choosing to turn towards each other instead of turning away.

Sometimes, a sudden compliment about a new hairstyle, a bouquet given for no special reason, or a suggestion for a weekend dinner at a restaurant can be great ideas to ignite the romance between you two. Even after years of marriage or amidst the chaos of children, gestures and loving words for your better half are never too much.

Happy couples always admire each other and maintain a positive view of each other. If lacking either of these factors, a marriage is on the brink and saving it becomes challenging, with divorce becoming inevitable. Admiration and positive regard act as antidotes to contempt. They help you feel respected by your partner. In times of disagreement and heated arguments, you won't feel overwhelmed by hatred.

In families, women often bring up issues and wish their husbands would actively seek solutions with them. However, husbands tend to avoid this, making wives furious, leading to the assumption that husbands are irresponsible. Understanding the biological makeup is the key to explaining the difference between the genders. Men tend to get overloaded more easily because their bodies are more sensitive to stress than their wives. Therefore, avoiding confrontation is understandable for them.

The secret to resolving issues lies in the wife's approach when expressing concerns. Usually, wives speak harshly, full of criticism, and are very unpleasant. To speak gently, follow these rules:

• Complain without blame
• When speaking, talk about yourself rather than your partner.
• Describe what happened, no evaluation, no judgment
• Speak clearly and politely
• Show appreciation
• Don't suppress emotions

Happy couples always consider and weigh each other's opinions and emotions before deciding anything. They make decisions together and always find common ground.

Allowing your partner to influence you doesn't mean you are submissive and have to blindly follow their words; it's about mutual respect.

Marriage is not just about raising children, dividing household chores, and sexual relationships. It encompasses a more profound meaning—building a shared spiritual life. It's about creating a culture rich in meaning and appreciation for roles and goals that connect both of you, helping you understand the significance of your roles in the family.

Wanting children while he's not ready, or desiring more visits to the temple while he thinks it's superstitious—these are just two examples of the many cases where couples face deadlocks in marriage. It might seem trivial, but it becomes a significant barrier making it challenging for both to live harmoniously.

The key is to overcome deadlocks. The goal of efforts to overcome deadlocks is not just to resolve but to transform deadlocks into dialogues. Once you can sit down with each other and talk about deadlocks without causing harm, the risk of marriage breakdown is minimal.

To avoid falling into deadlocks, understand their root causes. Deadlocks may be related to the dreams of the other person. Listen and understand these dreams instead of arguing without reaching a resolution.

A marriage, though free of conflicts and arguments, should not unfold monotonously from day to day. It leads to tedium and dissatisfaction. That's why newer relationships are more appealing and draw men away from their families.

Try to introduce new things like dining at an unfamiliar restaurant or embarking on a trip to a new destination together. The discoveries and experiences shared by both will bring about a closer and more intimate connection.

There is a blend of rights and responsibilities between husband and wife, but what you receive may not always be proportionate to what you give.

Indeed, there will always be one who sacrifices more, but in marriage, there is no one owing another, and there's no distinction between high and low. Sacrifice is one of the fundamental requirements for a married couple.