Understanding the Significance of Engagement Ceremony: Differences between Engagement, Wedding, and Marriage in Vietnamese Bridal Customs

In life, few moments are as important as the wedding day. In Vietnamese traditions, the engagement ceremony, or 'lễ vu quy,' plays an indispensable role. Today, engagement ceremonies often coincide with the formal proposal, leading to confusion for many couples trying to distinguish between these rituals.

Despite the overlap, each ceremony brings its unique colors and activities. Join Mytour Blog in exploring the profound meaning of the engagement ceremony - a solemn ritual distinct from others in weddings. Let's delve into the deeper significance, unique differences, and essential considerations for this momentous day.

What is the Engagement Ceremony? The Meaning of 'Lễ Vu Quy' in the Bride Receiving Ritual

The Engagement Ceremony, known as 'Lễ Vu Quy,' is a solemn ritual in Vietnamese weddings held at the bride's family home. The term 'vu quy' in Chinese signifies 'the daughter going to her husband's home.' During this ceremony, the groom's family visits the bride's home, where they engage in various traditional activities together.

A crucial activity during the engagement ceremony is the lighting of incense on the ancestral altar. The bride and groom express gratitude to the bride's parents by bowing in respect, acknowledging the parents' contributions to raising a happy daughter like the bride today.

With its special significance, the term 'engagement ceremony' is exclusively used in the context of the bride's family and is prominently featured in wedding decorations. From wedding invitations, banners, and photo backdrops to floral arches, the engagement ceremony is a vital element for creating traditional and elegant wedding atmospheres.

Significance of Various Traditional Ceremonies in Vietnamese Weddings

Apart from the engagement ceremony, orchestrating a grand wedding involves numerous diverse rituals. Below are some essential ceremonies for a traditional wedding:

Engagement Ceremony – An Emotionally Charged Moment

The engagement ceremony, also known as betrothal or pre-wedding ceremony in the Southern region, is a significant event in wedding preparations. It is a pivotal moment in the wedding journey, where love and commitment are expressed wholeheartedly. The ceremony serves as an occasion for both families to meet, build relationships, and affirm harmony, ready to embrace a fulfilling future.

In an atmosphere brimming with emotions, the groom's family presents the engagement offerings, symbolizing respect and acceptance from the bride's family. It signifies a firm commitment and the harmonious blend of two families, creating an everlasting connection.

The engagement ceremony typically takes place at the bride's residence, where miracles and beliefs intertwine. This is a pivotal moment, setting the stage for the next phases of the journey – the betrothal and the wedding ceremony. The anticipation and excitement fill the air, marking the preparation and readiness for a lifelong happiness as two families unite to build a bright and joyful future together.

Wedding Ceremony – A New Chapter in the Love Journey

The wedding ceremony marks the official entry of the bride into her husband's home, organized after the grand betrothal. The bride returns to her husband's home to announce and welcome the presence of a new daughter-in-law. It is a significant ceremony taking place at the groom's family residence.

In an atmosphere of joy and jubilation, the groom's family eagerly awaits the arrival of the bride, a woman carrying love and sacrifice within her. The wedding ceremony is not just an announcement but also a ritual, an occasion for the groom's parents, relatives, and the entire family to welcome the new bride with open hearts and sincere love.

The wedding ceremony is not only a family event but also a symbol of cultural harmony and fusion. It represents a deep connection between two families, a blending of values, spirits, and traditions. In an elegant and emotional setting, the wedding ceremony creates a strong bond and opens the door to a future filled with happiness and promise.

Wedding Solemnization – Doubling the Joy

After returning to the husband's home, the wedding solemnization is simpler than the betrothal at the bride's house. Rituals include lighting the ancestral altar and the bride serving tea to the in-laws, expressing respect and gratitude.

Today, many couples choose to host the wedding solemnization at a wedding banquet venue. The rituals at the venue are also simpler and more friendly. The couple will have the opportunity to speak about their journey of love, receive blessings from parents, both families, and friends.

Essential Wedding Rituals: Escorting the Bride Home

Culture and rituals are something we should not overlook as they reflect respect and reverence for the beautiful traditions passed down by our ancestors. Therefore, pay attention to these wedding rituals.

Bride's Request Ceremony

In the bridal procession, the bride's request ceremony is a crucial step to establish a connection and honor the bride's family. The groom selects a suitable day to visit the bride's home and conduct the proposal ceremony. Meticulous preparation is indispensable in this introduction ceremony.

The trays are tightly sealed and covered with red cloth, symbolizing the grandeur and significance of the ritual. A representative from the groom's family carries trays of wine and betel leaves, only entering the house with approval from the bride's family. The groom's family presents betel and areca nuts to the bride's family, expressing sincerity and respect.

Once the ritual is complete, the groom's family leads the way, and girls from the bride's family follow, supporting and joining the procession. This beautiful scene symbolizes unity and support within the families, creating a space filled with love and the growth of both families.

Introduction Ceremony for Both Families

After the betel and areca nut ritual, it's time for greetings and declarations from both families, creating solemn and meaningful moments in the bride's procession. A representative from the groom's family will be chosen to introduce the family members and guests attending the bride's welcoming ceremony, conveying the reasons and sincere feelings of the family in welcoming the bride to her new home.

The speech from the groom's side is not only a formal announcement but also an expression of emotion and the desire of the groom's family in welcoming the bride. This is an opportunity to show respect and the joy of the groom's family towards the bride's integration into the family.

Next, the bride's family will have the opportunity to respond to the wishes and greetings from the groom's family. Responding to the groom's words aims to demonstrate respect and agreement with the family in welcoming the bride.

The bride's family receives gifts from the groom's family and presents them on the ancestral altar

The ritual of placing offerings on the ancestral altar is a crucial step in the bride's procession. The betel and areca nut tray, the first opened ritual object, will be placed at the center of the altar. Correct placement of the betel and areca nut tray is vital to maintain the solemnity of the ceremony. Avoiding mistakes in this ritual is essential to ensure the seriousness and significance of the betrothal ceremony are fully expressed.

The bride introduces herself to both families

In the betrothal ceremony, the bride waits in the room, preparing for the bride's procession. Before welcoming the bride home, the bride and groom will together light incense on the ancestral altar to perform the ancestral worship ceremony. The groom will be the first to light incense, followed by the bride offering incense on the altar.

Finally, the tradition of lighting the dragon and phoenix lamps takes place. This pair of lamps will be prepared by the groom's family, while the bride's family will prepare two lamp stands. After both sides' parents have finished lighting incense, the bride and groom will proceed with the ancestral worship ceremony. Nowadays, this ritual has been simplified compared to traditional practices.

Ritual of offering wine and betel nuts

In the wedding ceremony, the bride and groom express gratitude and respect to both families by offering wine and betel nuts. The sequence of offering betel nuts usually starts from the master of ceremonies, followed by parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and other family members.

Performing the exchange of wedding rings

The ritual of exchanging wedding rings is one of the most anticipated moments in a wedding. In the presence of the wedding officiants, the couple will exchange rings, symbolizing the connection and love between them.

The wedding rings are usually prepared by the groom's side and will be presented to the bride. When the groom gives the ring to the bride, this ritual takes place with the witness of everyone, creating a meaningful turning point in the wedding ceremony.

Receiving wedding gifts and blessings from loved ones

The bride and groom will receive gifts from both families, expressing blessings and love. The mother-in-law and the bride's mother often give gifts to the bride, such as earrings, necklaces, and bracelets. These gifts not only symbolize beauty but also signify acceptance and sincerity from the groom's family.

Subsequently, both families will exchange meaningful gifts, including blessings and advice for the young couple. These gifts may be traditional items, such as ao dai (traditional Vietnamese dress) and wedding accessories, or financial gifts like gold and cash. The crucial aspect is that these gifts represent family unity and convey heartfelt wishes for the couple's married life.

Returning the Offering Ritual

The Returning the Offering Ritual, also known as 'lai qua' in Vietnamese, refers to the act of returning a part of the ceremonial tray to the groom's family. While arranging the tray for the return ritual, the groom's family needs to invert the lid if the tray is covered, or flip ½ of the red cloth if the tray is wrapped.

Wedding Procession

Finally, we come to the grand ceremony in weddings – the wedding procession. In this ceremony, the mother-in-law takes the lead in escorting the bride to the wedding car, accompanied by the groom by her side. This is a memorable moment, symbolizing the transition and the bride's entry into the new family.

As the bride steps into the wedding car, a crucial rule is to refrain from looking back. This ritual originates from the belief that looking back brings bad luck and is unfavorable for the marriage. It is widely believed that adhering to this rule will bring luck and happiness to the couple.

The Mytour article provided information about traditional rituals in the bride's reception ceremony. However, these rituals have now been adjusted and adapted to modern lifestyles, aiming to integrate seamlessly and align with the realities of today's life. Wishing you a happy married life!