Buzz
A challenging past is not an asset in the present life.
If you are stronger after difficulties, it's likely that strength exists despite challenges, not because of them. Major pains make you more prone to collapse. What doesn't kill us actually makes us weaker.
Friedrich Nietzsche, the German philosopher, had a famous quote: 'What does not kill me makes me stronger.' That perspective persists and continues to be propagated in American culture long after his demise.
One of the explanations for this is: suffering is an inevitable part of life. Thus, we develop various ways to alleviate suffering – one of them is attributing to it the power to positively transform individuals.
Simultaneously, due to the ingrained idea that where there is hope, anything is possible, while in reality, many things are hard to influence despite our efforts. And when we hold a certain belief, we tend to frequently see, remember, and refer to cases and events that support it. This is called Confirmation Bias.
From an evolutionary perspective, those who survive disasters are the strongest. However, they were strong already, which is why they survived, not because disasters made them strong. However, our minds do not distinguish this difference clearly.
Our brains are a machine that makes everything meaningful, designed to organize a vast amount of information into coherent, ordered perceptions in the form of narratives. That is, this happened, leading to that, then resulting in something else. When two things happen at the same time, we assume they are linked and hastily conclude a cause-and-effect relationship.
Similar to caged pigeons, even though receiving random food is unrelated to behavior, they will repeat any action done just before the food appears. Pigeons, in a sense, become superstitious beings.
We are no different. In humans, many common beliefs are based on this fallacy. Some beliefs are not worth bothering about, like a fan believing that wearing their lucky shirt will help their team win, thus making one's ability dependent on an inanimate object.
Our eagerness to soothe suffering by rationalizing it, along with the tendency to seek supporting information for pre-existing beliefs and witnessing cause-and-effect relationships happening together, all contribute to explaining how we arrive at our beliefs when faced with significant pain.
But most psychological studies on this topic suggest that, as a rule, if you are stronger after difficulties, it's likely that strength exists despite challenges, not because of them. Major pains make you more prone to collapse. What doesn't kill us actually makes us weaker.
Research on developmental processes has compellingly indicated that psychologically traumatized children are more likely to be retraumatized rather than less. Children growing up in a challenging neighborhood are prone to becoming weaker, not stronger. They are likely to face more difficulties in life.
The impact on adults, in general, follows a similar pattern. For instance, in a recent study, healthy adults were shown fearful and calm faces while undergoing functional magnetic resonance imaging to measure amygdala activity, the part of the brain responsible for forming and storing emotional memories.
Half of the participants were within approximately 2.5 km radius from the World Trade Center on September 11th, and the other half lived at least 300 km away from the site.
Participants who had been close to the World Trade Center on September 11th showed significantly higher amygdala activity when looking at fearful faces compared to those living more than 300 km away.
Dr. Barbara Ganzel, research team lead, stated:
“Our findings indicate that long-term neurobiological correlations may exist due to encountering trauma, even in individuals who outwardly appear resilient,” “We have long known that experiencing trauma can lead to susceptibility to mental health disorders many years after the trauma. This study provides clues to the biology behind that state of trauma.”
At the K9 canine unit, when asked where to find their formidable attack dogs, the unit commander revealed that most believe street dogs would be the best anti-terrorism dogs, as they have survived in the harsh world of dangerous, chaotic streets.
But the truth is entirely the opposite. Street dogs cannot perform this job – or any other – because they are unpredictable and untrainable. Dogs that are cared for, loved, and well-protected throughout their lives – those are the best candidates for effective anti-terrorism dogs.
And this holds true for humans too:
Chaos and disorder don't make you tougher or ready to face the world's horrors. It is love and care that make you tougher because they nurture and strengthen your learning and adaptability – including learning to fight and adapt to future challenges.
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Posted by: Pham Nghia
Keywords: What doesn't kill you makes you weaker
