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Revenge can be therapeutic. A captivating revenge tale is something that many find intriguing—we sympathize with the individual wronged, who then takes control and exacts their retribution.
In all honesty, most revenge stories are just about a drunken fight followed by a restraining order. Yet, there have been a few notable instances that stand out and are worth recounting.
10. Michael Crichton Implements The Small Penis Rule
Writers have long enjoyed incorporating subtle or overt digs at individuals they don't like. Frequently, this manifests as an abhorrent character—a murderer, a coward, a rapist—who is clearly inspired by a real person. This can lead to a legal issue if the writer is accused of libel, especially if the accuser can demonstrate a clear link in the readers' minds between the character and the person.
Thus, the 'small penis rule' came into play. It’s a clever strategy for writers to indirectly poke fun at someone while shielding themselves from potential libel lawsuits. By making it abundantly clear that a character has an extremely small penis, the writer can avoid legal trouble. Men generally don't want to be publicly linked to such a character.
This tactic has been successfully utilized by authors. In 2004, Michael Crichton released State of Fear, which received a harsh review from critic Michael Crowley. Crichton then introduced a character named Mick Crowley in his next novel, Next, who was a child rapist with a very small penis. Beyond the obvious name similarity, both the character and the critic were Yale alumni and political journalists based in Washington.
9. Judd Apatow Turns Freaks And Geeks Cast into A-List Celebrities
Judd Apatow has been behind some of the most popular comedies of the past decade, such as Anchorman, Knocked Up, Superbad, The 40-Year-Old Virgin, and many others. But before achieving this success, he was working on a little-known show called Freaks and Geeks. Although the show has since gained a cult following, it didn’t perform well in terms of ratings, leading NBC to cancel it after just 12 episodes.
What bothered Apatow the most was the criticism he received about his casting choices. He was determined to prove the NBC executives wrong. So, when he found success in Hollywood with guaranteed hits, he made sure to continue working with the same group from Freaks and Geeks.
Apatow has consistently collaborated with the same actors, writers, and directors throughout his career, aiming to turn them into household names. Judging by the success of several of those involved with Freaks and Geeks, it seems he achieved just that: Seth Rogen, Jason Segel, Paul Feig, James Franco, and Jason Schwartzman.
8. Lord Byron Brings a Bear to College
Lord Byron stands as one of the most celebrated poets of all time. He amassed a fortune from his literary works and was unafraid to indulge in a lavish lifestyle, soon earning a reputation for excess and a stubborn refusal to accept 'No' for an answer.
Byron had a profound love for animals, and throughout his life, he kept an assortment of exotic pets, including monkeys, foxes, peacocks, crocodiles, badgers, geese, goats, and numerous dogs and horses. His most cherished pet was a Newfoundland dog named Boatswain, who now has an enormous marble monument at Newstead Abbey beside Byron’s grave. The monument features 'Epitaph to a Dog,' one of Byron’s most beloved works (though he didn’t actually pen it).
When Byron attended Cambridge’s Trinity College, he naturally wanted to bring a dog along for companionship. However, the college’s rules clearly prohibited dogs. The regulations, however, did not mention other animals, so Byron decided to bring a bear with him instead.
Clearly, the university wasn’t thrilled about keeping the bear, but there was no legal way to remove it. The bear was permitted to remain on campus for the entire length of Byron’s stay.
7. Peter James Creates Vengeful Characters
Crime novelist Peter James has made a habit of crafting characters based on individuals who’ve rubbed him the wrong way. And he ensures they meet grim fates. After one critic panned his work, James featured her character in his next book, where, as he himself admitted, he 'took great pleasure in her dissection.'
On another occasion, James drew inspiration from a reader who blurred the line between devoted fan and obsessive stalker. She attended all of his events and emailed him personally when she couldn’t make it. Eventually, at a book signing, James forgot her name, which led to her storming out in anger and sending him a 10,000-word tirade. This incident was so unsettling that he had to involve the authorities. She became the inspiration for a character—a deranged fan who stalks and murders a famous actress.
6. Jonathan Swift Creates an Alter Ego to Prank an Astrologer
At the dawn of the 18th century, John Partridge was one of the most prominent astrologers, famous for his almanacs. However, he unknowingly made an enemy out of writer Jonathan Swift, who despised Partridge for his criticisms of the church. Swift, a well-known prankster, devised a revenge scheme in February 1708, which would unfold over the course of several months.
Swift created a false identity for Isaac Bickerstaff, another astrologer who suddenly began publishing his own almanac. The almanac included a range of typical predictions, but one stood out: on March 29, at around 11:00 PM, John Partridge would die from a fever. Partridge, dismissing Bickerstaff as an amateur and fraud, responded in disbelief.
The rivalry between Swift and Partridge captivated the public. People eagerly awaited March 29, wondering who would be proven right. Swift was ready for this and, on that day, released a pamphlet declaring that Partridge had passed away. Many believed it, prompting Partridge to publish a letter to reassure everyone that he was, in fact, still alive. A few decades later, Benjamin Franklin would pull the very same prank on a rival writer.
Eventually, Swift ended the hoax by publishing another work titled A Vindication of Isaac Bickerstaff. Despite this, the fame of the prank lingered, leaving Partridge with a legacy of ridicule for the rest of his life.
5. Mark Twain's Petrified Man
Before he became the iconic Mark Twain, Samuel Clemens was a young reporter at the Territorial Enterprise newspaper. Already known for his knack for pranks and settling scores with those who irked him, he set his sights on the new justice of the peace for Humboldt County, Judge Sowell, whom Clemens considered an arrogant fool.
At the same time, Twain grew increasingly irritated with the constant stream of petrification stories in every newspaper—stories about perfectly preserved human remains. He decided to take a jab at both the tales and Judge Sowell by writing his own story, which featured the discovery of a petrified man in the mountains near Gravelly Ford. Twain provided a detailed description of the find, making sure to point out that Judge Sowell was the one overseeing the body.
Twain viewed his creation as a piece of satire, but others didn't share that perspective. The story quickly spread, reappearing in newspapers across the country and even finding its way into a London publication. Twain didn't try to conceal his mischief and, in fact, he found great pleasure in the results. He sent every newspaper mentioning the petrified man to Sowell, just to get under his skin. The judge received about half a bushel of newspapers daily, which he eventually buried in his backyard.
4. General Meigs Turns Robert E. Lee’s Home Into A Cemetery
Montgomery Cunningham Meigs may not be the first name that comes to mind when you think of the American Civil War, but he served as Quartermaster General of the US Army during the conflict. More than just a military figure, Meigs was an unwavering patriot who saw anyone supporting the Confederacy as a traitor. In his eyes, no one deserved that label more than Robert E. Lee, the Commander of the Confederate Army. Meigs had once served under Lee, but now he believed only a death sentence would be fitting for Lee and Confederate President Jefferson Davis.
While that sentence never came to pass, Meigs found another way to exact revenge on his former superior. With the rising death toll from the war, a new military cemetery was needed. Meigs had his men search for a location, and they chose Lee's former home, which actually belonged to Lee's wife, a descendant of Martha Washington. The estate was called Arlington House.
Without delay, Meigs transformed Lee’s cherished home into a military cemetery, fully intending to make it uninhabitable if the Lees ever reclaimed it. This property would eventually become Arlington National Cemetery, a famous 624-acre burial ground for military personnel and their families. Meigs himself was buried there, alongside his father, wife, and son.
3. Peter I Makes His Dead Lover Queen
This is a tale of forbidden love that far surpasses Romeo and Juliet in its passion and tragedy. Set in 14th-century Portugal, it tells the story of Prince Peter I and the stunning aristocrat Ines de Castro. Despite being married to Constanza, the daughter of a powerful ally, Peter could not resist his torrid affair with Ines.
The relationship was tolerated until Constanza’s death in 1345. Fearing political fallout, King Afonso IV forbade Peter from seeing Ines, but Peter defied him. The king, with no other choice, ordered Ines's assassination. Three men captured her at the Santa Clara-a-Velha monastery and carried out the grim order.
Peter rebelled against his father but was overpowered and defeated within a year. He then shifted his strategy, feigning forgiveness, all while secretly biding his time. A year later, King Afonso died, and Peter ascended to the throne of Portugal.
Seeking revenge on the men who killed Ines, Peter had one of them escape, but the other two met a grisly fate—he had their hearts ripped out of their chests.
Peter then declared that he had secretly married Ines and posthumously crowned her Queen Consort of Portugal. Her body was moved to a lavish mausoleum at the palace, where she was honored as royalty.
An unverified addition to the tale suggests that Peter arranged for her body to be placed on the throne, and instructed every member of the court to kiss her hand.
2. Dante Alighieri Exiles the Pope to Hell
Pope Boniface VIII wasn't exactly a favorite on anyone's list of top popes. His rise to power came during a turbulent time when two factions, the Guelphs and the Ghibellines, clashed over allegiance to either the pope or the Holy Roman Emperor. Within the Guelphs, there were further divisions between the Black and White factions, which supported different ideologies. The Black Guelphs, staunch in their loyalty to the pope, eventually emerged victorious, and Boniface VIII took the opportunity to exact vengeance on the White Guelphs.
One notable White Guelph was Dante Alighieri, who was eventually exiled from his beloved Florence. His hatred for the pope was profound, but the exile provided him ample time to craft what would become the most celebrated Italian literary masterpiece—The Divine Comedy. This grand epic chronicles Dante's journey through purgatory and heaven, though it's particularly remembered for Inferno, its vivid depiction of the nine circles of hell.
Dante sought revenge on Boniface by consigning him to hell. More specifically, he placed him in the eighth circle, where those guilty of simony—selling church offices—are condemned. Although Boniface was still alive when Dante wrote The Divine Comedy, the poet cleverly circumvented this by simply foreseeing Boniface’s eventual fall into damnation.
The act of vengeance ended up being more potent than Dante could have ever imagined. Today, Boniface is likely remembered more for his portrayal in the poem than for his actions during his papacy.
1. The Cartoon Masterpieces of Friz Freleng and Chuck Jones
You might not be familiar with Friz Freleng or Chuck Jones by name, but their creations are undoubtedly known to you. These animators worked for Warner Brothers, bringing to life iconic characters like Bugs Bunny, Porky Pig, Daffy Duck, and others. They also played a pivotal role in producing some of the studio's most successful cartoons, many of which were made in defiance of one particular producer.
That producer was Eddie Selzer, who ran Warner Brothers Cartoons from 1944 to 1957. The first significant clash between Selzer and the animators occurred in 1947. Freleng wanted to pair Sylvester the Cat with the new character, Tweety, but Selzer insisted that Sylvester should team up with a woodpecker—because woodpeckers, according to him, were funnier. Freleng had to threaten to quit before Selzer gave in. The result was one of the studio’s most beloved pairings and Tweetie Pie, a cartoon that won Warner Brothers its first Oscar for Best Animated Short Film.
Eventually, the animators began to do the exact opposite of what Selzer instructed. As Chuck Jones humorously put it, Selzer’s decisions were “impeccable. He’s never been right yet.” One of his more memorable judgments was that a French-speaking skunk wouldn’t be funny. The outcome? The creation of Pepe Le Pew in the 1950 cartoon For Scent-imental Reasons, which earned a second Oscar. Selzer proudly accepted both Oscars on stage, of course.
