14 Eerily Dark Wikipedia Entries, Alongside 14 Uplifting Ones to Refresh Your Mind

What is it? The tragic tale of a group of travelers who lost their way en route to California and ultimately turned to cannibalism to survive. The Donner Party is akin to a self-aware version of The Oregon Trail video game, where random deaths from dysentery or injuries weren't enough to convey the horror. 

Creepy Quote: "Their meals soon consisted of boiled oxhide, which turned into a repulsive, glue-like substance. Bones from oxen and horses were repeatedly boiled for soup, becoming so brittle they would crumble when chewed."

What is it? Thankfully, this is not a real attraction. However, this theoretical roller coaster is engineered so that any imaginary riders would not survive due to extreme g-forces causing "prolonged cerebral hypoxia, or a lack of oxygen to the brain." Even though I emphasized 'theoretical,' the concept still leaves me uneasy. 

Creepy Quote: "After a sharp right turn, the train would stop on a straight section, allowing for the removal of bodies and the boarding of new passengers."

What is it? Assuming toast always lands butter-side down and cats always land on their feet, what occurs when you strap a buttered piece of toast (butter side up) to a cat's back and drop it? Would it create a rift in the space-time continuum? Or would you simply end up with a spoiled breakfast and an annoyed feline? (Likely the latter.) 

Fun Quote: "Cats can flip themselves upright mid-fall if they start upside-down... Toast, being inanimate, has neither the ability nor the inclination to correct its position." 

What is it? This is what I turn to when I feel ready to confront the inevitability of eternity. Essentially, it's a collection of scientific estimates predicting when Chernobyl will return to normal radiation levels or when Mount Rushmore will erode, among other unsettling uncertainties. (For the curious, it’s 24,000 and 7.2 million years, respectively.) 

Creepy Quote: "2 million [years from now]: Estimated time for coral reef ecosystems to recover from human-induced ocean acidification; a similar recovery period followed the acidification event 65 million years ago."

What is it? Potoooooooo, the most illustrious racehorse in history, was also known as Pot-8-Os. The name is pronounced "potatoes." 

Fun Quote: "Bertie intended to name the colt 'Potato' and asked a stable boy to write it on a feed bin. The boy spelled it as 'Potoooooooo' (Pot followed by 8 'o's; a humorous phonetic error), which Bertie found so amusing that he kept the spelling."

What is it? A deadly radioactive sphere that was nearly used as the core for a third nuclear bomb intended for Japan. After Japan's surrender, it was used for experiments, resulting in fatal accidents that claimed the lives of scientists Harry Daghlian and Louis Slotin. This earned it the ominous nickname "demon core."

Creepy Quote: "Slotin, known for his boldness, became the go-to expert, conducting the test numerous times, often in his signature blue jeans and cowboy boots, in front of an audience. Enrico Fermi reportedly warned Slotin and others that continuing the tests in such a manner would lead to their deaths within a year."

What is it? A series of over 150 oversized structures scattered across Australia's landscape. Visitors can marvel at the Big Koala Family, the Big Apple (not the famous one), or one of two Big Chooks ("chook" means chicken). I’ve personally visited the Big Banana and can confirm it lives up to its name. 

Fun Quote: "Mortels Sheepskin Factory is home to The Big Ugg Boots, which are 13 times the size of a women's US size 8 ugg boot." 

What is it? A compilation of individuals who met the most ironic of fates. Being featured on a Wikipedia page with "Hoist with his own petard" in the "See Also" section is not a distinction anyone desires.

Creepy Quote: "Franz Reichelt (1879–1912), a tailor, died after falling from the first level of the Eiffel Tower while testing his invention, the coat parachute. It was his first trial with the parachute, and he had assured authorities he would initially test it using a dummy."

What is it? A collection of films that achieved the infamous trifecta of critical failure: dismal Rotten Tomatoes scores, multiple Golden Raspberry Awards, and scathing critiques from the legendary Roger Ebert or his peers. (While not every film on the list meets all these criteria, many do.)

Fun Quote: "Roger Ebert remarked, 'The Last Airbender is a painful ordeal in every conceivable aspect and some yet to be imagined. Probability dictates that something should have worked. Not in this case. It delivers the final blow to cheap 3D, but it will take far more than that to bury it.'" 

What is it? A flight carrying an Uruguayan rugby team and their loved ones that crashed in the Andes, leaving 33 survivors to endure unimaginable hardships. Facing starvation, the group made the heart-wrenching decision to eat the deceased to stay alive. After 72 grueling days, 16 survivors were rescued, thanks to the bravery of three men (Roberto Canessa, Nando Parrado, and Antonio Vizintin), who risked everything to seek help. 

Creepy Quote: "As the sun set, while sharing cognac found in the wreckage, Parrado mused, 'Roberto, can you picture how stunning this would be if we weren’t already dead men?'"

What is it? A beige hue identified by scientists Karl Glazebrook and Ivan Baldry as the "universal average color." Alternative names suggested were Cappuccino Cosmico, Skyvory, and Primordial Clam Chowder.

Fun Quote: "Various media outlets, such as NPR and BBC, showcased the color in their reports and mentioned Glazebrook's humorous plea for naming suggestions, emphasizing that any name was acceptable except 'beige.'"

What is it? An unusual Coca-Cola vending machine where, for 75 cents (or a dollar from 2018 onwards), you could press one of six buttons marked "? mystery ?" to receive a rare can of soda, either not typically available in the U.S. or out of circulation since the 1980s. This machine was a fixture in Seattle's Capitol Hill from the early 1990s until 2018. Its operator and the reason for its discontinuation remain unknown.

Creepy Quote: "In June 2018, the machine vanished without a trace, and a cryptic message appeared on its Facebook page: 'Going for a walk, need to find myself. Maybe take a shower even.'"

What is it? A detailed account of Colbert's performance in front of what might be the most challenging audience in comedy history: the Bush administration.

Fun Quote: "I support this man. I support this man because he represents ideals. Not just ideals, he stands on them. Things like aircraft carriers, debris, and recently flooded urban areas. This sends a clear message: No matter what challenges America faces, it will always recover — with the most meticulously orchestrated photo opportunities globally."

What is it? Homer and Langley Collyer, two brothers who amassed over 140 tons of "books, furniture, musical instruments, and countless other items" in their Harlem brownstone. Authorities suspect Langley died after accidentally setting off one of the many traps he had installed to safeguard their hoarded possessions.

Creepy Quote: "Among the items removed from the house were baby carriages, a doll carriage, rusted bicycles, old food, potato peelers, a gun collection, glass chandeliers, bowling balls, camera equipment, the folding top of a horse-drawn carriage, a sawhorse, three mannequins, painted portraits, early 1900s pin-up girl photos, plaster busts, Mrs. Collyer's hope chests, rusty bed springs, a kerosene stove, a child's chair (despite the brothers being lifelong bachelors), over 25,000 books (including thousands on medicine, engineering, and law), human organs preserved in jars, eight live cats, the chassis of an old Model T Ford, tapestries, hundreds of yards of unused fabrics, clocks, fourteen pianos, a clavichord, two organs, banjos, violins, bugles, accordions, a gramophone and records, and countless bundles of newspapers, magazines, bottles, tin cans, and garbage."

What is it? Precisely as the title suggests. Magicians and opera singers are disproportionately represented, with one such singer, Leonard Warren, dying during an aria that starts with the words, "Morir, tremenda cosa" ("to die, a momentous thing").

Creepy Quote: "Operatic bass Armand Castelmary collapsed onstage at New York's Metropolitan Opera House during a performance of Friedrich von Flotow’s Martha. The audience, mistaking his collapse for exceptional acting, gave him a thunderous applause as the curtain fell."

What is it? Voting is mandatory in Australia, but polling stations make it more appealing by organizing "sausage sizzles." Dedicated citizens can fulfill their civic responsibility and then enjoy a sausage in a slice of white bread. These events often serve as fundraisers for local groups.

Fun Quote: "The controversy escalated when Dowding accused state Liberal Party leader Barry MacKinnon of being photographed during the campaign wearing barbecue attire, thereby 'participating in the distribution of sausages.'"

What is it? A team of seasoned hikers was discovered dead under puzzling conditions following an expedition in the Ural Mountains. The condition of the victims' bodies raised numerous questions: Some had fled into the freezing night in just their underwear, while others suffered severe internal injuries with minimal external signs. One body was missing a tongue, and two others had no eyes. Theories range from an avalanche to a failed military experiment or even something supernatural.

Creepy Quote: "Andrey Kuryakov, deputy head of the regional prosecutor's office, stated: 'It was a valiant struggle. There was no panic. But under the circumstances, they stood no chance of survival.'"

What is it? Since 1991, the Ig Nobel Prizes have honored scientific discoveries and achievements that "first make people laugh, then make them think." Awarded concurrently with the Nobel Prizes, they recognize genuine, albeit unusual, accomplishments.

Fun Quote: Aviation, 2007: "Patricia V. Agostino, Santiago A. Plano, and Diego A. Golombek, for finding that hamsters recover from jetlag faster when given Viagra."

What is it? Ignaz Semmelweis, a 19th-century Hungarian doctor, proposed that handwashing by physicians could reduce maternal and infant mortality in hospitals. His idea provoked widespread outrage for reasons that remain unclear. Semmelweis was later institutionalized by his wife and colleagues, who thought he was mentally unstable; he passed away two weeks afterward. Today, he is celebrated as a "trailblazer of antiseptic practices" and the "savior of mothers."

Creepy Quote: "János Diescher took over Semmelweis's role at the Pest University maternity clinic. Mortality rates promptly surged sixfold to 6%, yet Budapest's medical community remained silent; there were no investigations or objections."

What is it? Craig Fugate, the former FEMA administrator, introduced this unique disaster impact measurement in 2011. Waffle House, it turns out, is a cornerstone of American resilience, and Fugate once noted, "If you arrive and the Waffle House is shut? That's a dire situation." The index features three levels: Green (no damage or power outage), Yellow (no power and a restricted menu), and Red (closed).

Fun Quote: "As Craig [Fugate] often remarks, the Waffle House test not only gauges a business's recovery speed but also reflects the broader community's condition."

What is it? A Transylvanian military leader who spearheaded an uprising against the aristocracy. His rebellion failed, and the nobility, not known for their mercy, sentenced him to a gruesome death. Dózsa was forced to sit on a scorching iron throne, wear a blazing iron crown, and hold a searing iron scepter. The torment escalated further from there.

Creepy Quote: "As he endured this agony, nine starved fellow rebels were brought before him. Leading the procession was Dózsa's younger brother, Gergely, who was dismembered into three parts despite Dózsa's pleas for his brother's life."

What is it? A miniature exhibit featuring six celebrated artists, potentially residing on the Moon. Forrest "Frosty" Myers conceived the idea to affix the tiny "ceramic wafer" to a spacecraft. When NASA remained noncommittal, Myers enlisted a German engineer to clandestinely attach it to the Apollo 12 lunar module. However, it's uncertain whether the Moon Museum ever reached outer space, as no one has verified its presence. The artists represented include Myers, Andy Warhol, Robert Rauschenberg, David Novros, John Chamberlain, and Claes Oldenburg.

Fun Quote: "In the top left corner is Andy Warhol's sketch of a penis. 'He was playing the mischievous rebel,' Forrest Myers remarked in an interview."

What is it? A whale that produces a call at a unique frequency unmatched by any other whale. This has earned it the nickname "the loneliest whale in the world" or, as I like to call it, "the Eeyore of the sea." The elusive creature has never been seen, only heard, adding to its mystique.

Creepy Quote: "The biological reason for its unusually high-pitched call doesn't appear to hinder its survival. Its longevity and apparent maturity suggest it is likely healthy. Yet, its singular call remains unmatched, with only one source detected each season. This uniqueness has led to its title as the loneliest whale in the world."

What is it? A flock of at least six ravens residing at the Tower of London. These birds are treated with great care due to the legend that if they ever leave, the Crown (and Great Britain) will collapse.

Fun Quote: "While Londoners generally adore the ravens, occasionally one falls out of favor for misbehavior. For instance, 'Raven George' was dismissed from royal service and relocated to Wales after attacking and damaging TV antennas."

What is it? The most tragic event in Air New Zealand's history. The airline once offered sightseeing flights to Antarctica, allowing passengers to view and photograph the icy terrain before returning the same day. However, in 1979, incorrect flight coordinates led to a plane crashing into Mount Erebus, killing all 257 people on board instantly.

Creepy Quote: "After nearly completing our mission, we were stranded by severe weather. At that point, NZPO2 and I decided to distribute the surviving liquor from the crash, and we held a somber gathering (macabre, but necessary to relieve tension)." —Jim Morgan, leader of the mortuary team.