Buzz
People have openly discussed the moments they realized it was time to end their marriage and the reasons behind their decision. But have you ever considered the experiences of those who deeply regret that choice?
In some old Reddit threads, individuals who regret their divorces shared their stories, and their insights may take you by surprise. Here are a few of the most thought-provoking replies:
1. "Not me, but a kind older man I knew had divorced his first wife when their daughter was only 8. He later remarried and had a son. He once confided in me that if he could redo his life, he would have never gotten that divorce. He cherishes his current wife and son, but he said, 'No matter what struggles we faced in my first marriage, losing them wasn't worth the pain and agony that the divorce caused my daughter.'"
—u/autumn_skies
2. "I betrayed his trust. I believed that was the end, and I needed to 'punish' myself for it. He was open to working things out, but I thought the damage had already been done and that I had to move on to find my own happiness. Eventually, I realized I had been dealing with depression for some time, and perhaps I had cheated as a desperate attempt to 'make something happen.' Nothing in my life have I regretted more than that."
"I fully understand that I brought this outcome upon myself, and it's something I’ll have to live with. The weight of this regret is the heaviest I have ever felt, and even though he has forgiven me, I will never forgive myself."
—u/CatsyKat
3. "I believed our relationship wasn't working and that my love for her had faded. But looking back now, I realize it was something else. We were so alike that we even struggled with similar mental health issues. After I went through psychiatric treatment and started improving, she began to deteriorate. After our divorce, she also sought treatment and became the person I had once fallen in love with. However, after several unsuccessful attempts to reunite, the relationship couldn't be salvaged, and we both knew it was over."
"I was in a deep depression for a year, but I’ve only recently started to feel better. We were an incredibly happy couple, deeply in love, with plans and projects. She supported me through my psychiatric treatment, but I wasn't there for her when she needed me. That sense of guilt haunted me for a long time. Today, I'm in a good place. We talk every month or two. We still care about each other, but we both agree that getting back together would risk damaging the fragile bond we now share. We wish each other the best, and that’s enough. I've learned so much from this and become a better person because of it, for which I am forever grateful to have had such a wonderful partner."
—Anonymous
4. "I was the one who initiated the divorce because I felt unhappy; he was changing into someone I no longer recognized, and I was too. We fought frequently, and I started spending more time away from home, feeling a sense of relief. It's been a year and a half since I left, and I miss him every day. I'm not sure if I regret my decision, but I do wish I had fought harder for us."
"He had a mix of good and bad traits, but I reached a point where I no longer wanted to spend half of my time feeling unhappy. Above all, I wanted him to be happier too."
—u/msmthrowaway101
5. "A friend's ex regretted the divorce. To sum it up, she pressured him to move in with her parents because they were 'financially struggling.' Once they moved in, they took over the rent payments for her parents' house, meaning he was paying full rent for just one bedroom. It turned out the parents weren't struggling at all — they started going on lavish vacations because they no longer had a mortgage to pay. Eventually, her parents became too involved in their relationship, and things fell apart. She began working extremely long hours and more or less disappeared for the last two years before finally serving him with divorce papers."
"About six months after the divorce was finalized, she began regretting her decision and started stalking him on social media. Since he wasn’t wasting 75% of his paycheck on someone else's mortgage, he had bought himself a new car, a new motorcycle, was living in a pretty cool house, and had found a new girlfriend. Needless to say, she became quite jealous and tried to win him back. He simply told her, 'I don’t play childish games. Move on.'"
—u/ViperThreat
6. "I’ve thought about it like this: Both of us wish things had turned out differently. We regret how things have gone. But I don’t think I’ll ever look back and see this as a mistake. We had an unhealthy relationship, and we couldn’t agree on what a healthy one looked like. What a miserable way to live — which is why we got divorced."
—u/cinnamonstyx
7. "Not me, but my cousin. He's a real self-righteous jerk, and nobody blamed her for wanting to leave him. He was always spouting nonsense about how the woman should serve the man. Well, after the divorce, she got a terrible deal. She hadn't worked because he convinced her it wasn’t a woman's role. She had a bad lawyer, while he hired a top-notch one. He ended up with the house, the cars, and partial custody of the kids. Meanwhile, she had no credit, no higher education, and hadn’t worked in the last 20 years."
"Naturally, once the divorce was finalized and reality hit her, she wanted to crawl back."
—u/cutesarcasticone
8. "My abusive, narcissistic father served my mother with divorce papers to 'teach her a lesson about how much she meant to [him] and to help her appreciate [him] more,' even though he didn’t actually want the divorce at all (his words). She went through with it. They’ve been divorced for 10 years now, and she’s incredibly happy. He remarried and is still hopelessly in love with and obsessed with my mother. It turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to her."
—u/martinhth
9. "I'm not divorced yet. I was unhappy and left after being married for over a decade. There were both good and bad years. After I moved out, she immediately started seeing other guys. I waited and eventually met someone I truly care about. Meanwhile, she kept delaying the divorce proceedings. Now, she wants me back, offering to change and agreeing to some important ground rules. I'm torn. I really like my girlfriend, but sometimes I wonder if things with my ex could be fixed and if not giving her a second chance is a mistake. It's a tough situation."
"On one hand, I love my girlfriend. On the other, I miss my family. I keep wondering if, with enough effort, I could have the same happiness with my ex as I do with my girlfriend. The problem is, every time I see my ex, I feel uneasy. I’m not sure if it’s because we’re no longer together, because of personal shame, or because I feel bad about keeping my girlfriend from her."
—u/wtf7778
10. "I do regret it. I haven’t spoken to my ex, so I’m not sure how he feels. I think it's partly fear of being rejected and partly the belief that if it didn’t work before, it won’t work now. We were young and changing, and I felt like I couldn’t be myself when we were together. Now, I wonder if he would have accepted me as I evolved."
—u/lil_ginge
11. "I never wanted the divorce. He left me for someone else, only to keep bouncing back and forth between us until I finally said, 'Enough.' That’s when I realized I could never truly get past the things that had happened between us. I wish I could have, and I know he's had many regrets over the years. Despite all my efforts to forgive him (this wasn’t the first time), I still wonder if I should have tried again — for the sake of the kids, if for nothing else. But at what point do I say 'Enough'? After more than 10 years of him seeking attention from other women, when is it time to draw the line?"
"As painful as it was to go through with, I just didn’t think I could maintain any self-respect if I didn’t."
—u/whoa_do_that_again
12. "I was extremely unhappy and pointed the finger at him for everything, even though it was only partly his fault. I should have stayed and fought harder to make it work. After dating a couple of people since, I now realize just how well I clicked with my ex and how rare that is."
—u/unrliable_narrator
13. "It seems like my ex-husband is beginning to feel some regret. I never wanted the divorce in the first place, so of course I regret it — but there’s too much baggage between us to fix things. Still, I do wish we could."
—u/butterytabasco
14. "I despise it. I never wanted this outcome, but I ended up being the one who had to initiate the divorce. He was having an affair with a younger colleague, and I still wanted to salvage our relationship. However, when he started making some financial decisions, I had no choice but to file to ensure I would get my fair share of our assets. I hate saying I'm divorced, but honestly, I loathe him more. If there's a word stronger than hate, that’s how I feel about him and the woman he left me for. They mentally destroyed me. I wish I didn’t have to be divorced — so, yeah, a part of me regrets it."
—u/heartbroken1997
15. "There are times I regret it. We were married for 25 years, together almost 30, and three-quarters of it was wonderful. We had amazing kids and built a life together. The financial hit I’ve taken is hard to recover from, especially at my age and income. He hadn’t worked for the last eight years of our marriage, which was part of the issue, but he was also extremely tight with money. The guy I’m seeing now makes a lot of money but spends recklessly, which was exciting at first — all the nice dates and gifts — but now I’m starting to understand why he has so little to show for his earnings."
"Considering both my ex and I wanted to provide an inheritance for our kids, and divorce essentially eliminates that possibility, it’s something that really makes you think twice."
—Anonymous
16. "I regret how quickly I filed for divorce after she left. I wish I had just broken my phone in frustration and taken off for a while to clear my mind. Instead, both sides kept escalating things, and now we’ve crossed the point of no return — right into the black hole of divorce."
"I still hope we could reconcile, but I’m in the process of getting divorced. I want my best friend back and our family to be whole again, but I estimate the chances at less than 10%."
—u/Travb1999
And finally, we're at the end...
"Regret isn’t the right word because, frankly, I didn’t have any control. I was devastated by the thought of a divorce. I had a happy life, loved my wife deeply, and had two beautiful children. But she slowly pulled away and wanted out. I wasn’t about to keep her trapped in a marriage she no longer wanted to be in. Even now, years later, it still stings. It’s been six years, and it’s gotten better, but that hurt will always be there to some extent. I’ve come to terms with that. Divorce is heartbreaking, especially when you still love your partner after 15 years and you’d do anything for your children. But sometimes, she just wants to go."
"We’re on decent terms now. She’s with someone else (it didn’t take long for her to find someone else, and I had a feeling something had been going on while we were still together, but I couldn’t save the marriage). Every time I see her with him, whether it’s on family trips with the kids or when I’m picking them up, I feel a pain in my chest. I’ve gotten better at hiding my tears, but it still hurts deep inside. This wasn’t the life I imagined for myself. It’s crazy how everything has changed over the last eight years. It feels like I’m living a completely different life, one that doesn’t even seem like mine anymore. In the end, I regret that I had no choice but to get a divorce. That’s something I’ll carry with me until the end of my days."
—u/barnabyjones00
