Buzz
[WARNING: potential spoilers] While this isn’t strictly a compilation of the absolute worst films ever created, many of these titles could easily earn a spot on such a list. Instead, this selection focuses on poorly crafted, mindless entertainment designed to appeal to the masses. If any of these films happen to be your favorites, it might be time to reevaluate your cinematic preferences.
Frequent appearances by directors like Jan de Bont, Roland Emmerich, and Michael Bay are no coincidence—their work often falls short of quality. Yet, despite their flaws, their movies remain oddly irresistible. For instance, while I consider *Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen* one of the most dreadful films I’ve watched, it didn’t stop me from watching *Transformers: Dark of the Moon*.
You might wonder, 'Why isn’t *Independence Day* on this list?' Honestly, I can’t provide a clear answer. Despite its flaws, I hold a nostalgic fondness for it, making it impossible for me to criticize it openly.
Now, prepare yourself as I put on my snobbish black beret, stroke my overly refined goatee, and proceed to critique some of the most regrettable films ever produced.
10. *The Day After Tomorrow* (2004)
In this film, Jake Gyllenhaal is literally pursued by freezing temperatures down a corridor. Yes, the cold itself becomes a relentless pursuer. Adding to the absurdity, characters debate burning books for warmth in a library filled with wooden furniture. This movie left me hoping global warming would just end our suffering sooner rather than later.
9. *Armageddon* (1998)
A hilarious internet movie critic explains the plot far better than I ever could, so let’s hand it over to this random, witty commentator:
“Billy Bob Thornton plays some high-ranking NASA official (LOL), and he declares, ‘We need to destroy this asteroid!’ Someone suggests nuking it, but Billy Bob dismisses the idea with a made-up excuse. Instead, they decide the only solution is to recruit Bruce Willis, the world’s greatest oil driller. Meanwhile, on his oil rig, Bruce is busy hitting golf balls at a Greenpeace boat because, you know, he’s a MAN. The absurdity continues as the military shows up, begging Bruce to save the world, and he casually fires Ben Affleck for dating his daughter, Liv Tyler. Apparently, running up a hill during an asteroid impact, as seen in *Deep Impact*, isn’t an option here.
NASA’s plan involves sending astronauts to land on the asteroid, drill into it, and plant a nuclear bomb. But Bruce Willis insists, ‘You’re all idiots—I’m going instead.’ And just when you think it can’t get more ridiculous, he demands to bring his own team. Yes, his team of oil drillers will go to space, land on an asteroid, and drill a hole for a nuke. Because why not? It’s not like things could get any more absurd.
Bruce assembles his quirky crew, including Ben Affleck, whom he had just fired. Wait, didn’t Ben already start his own oil company in less than a day? How? But who has time to question logic when an asteroid is hurtling toward Earth? This ragtag group, with only 12 days of training (including a 45-minute montage), is our only hope. They head to the International Space Station, meet a quirky Russian cosmonaut, and survive a series of near-death experiences involving fuel lines, space fires, and meteor crashes. Spoiler: some don’t make it.
-Courtesy of Gabe from videogum.com
8. *Waterworld* (1995)
This film swept the Razzies, winning Worst Picture, Worst Director, Worst Actor (Kevin Costner), and Worst Supporting Actor (Dennis Hopper). With a budget of around $200 million in the mid-90s—equivalent to roughly $45 billion today (if my math holds)—it was a colossal flop. Fresh off the success of *Dances With Wolves*, Kevin Costner convinced the studio to greenlight this bizarre concept, essentially *Mad Max* on jet skis.
7. *Battlefield Earth* (2000)
*Battlefield Earth* is often cited as one of the worst films ever made, if not the absolute worst. Based on a beloved science fiction novel, expectations were high, but the result was a disaster. It earned 8 Razzie nominations in 2000, winning 7, including Worst Picture, Director, Screenplay, Actor, and Actress. It even took home the award for Worst Screen Couple, humorously awarded to 'John Travolta and anyone sharing the screen with him.' To top it off, in 2010, it was crowned the Razzie's 'Worst Movie of the Decade.'
6. *Pearl Harbor* (2002)
The trailer for this film was incredibly misleading, creating one of the most jarring contrasts between preview and actual movie in history. Nominated for 8 Razzies, including Worst Picture, Worst Actor, and Worst Director (Michael Bay), it turned a national tragedy into a slow-motion action spectacle. As *Team America: World Police* perfectly put it:
I miss you more than Michael Bay missed the mark, When he made *Pearl Harbor*. I miss you more than that movie missed the point, And that’s an awful lot. And now, now you’ve gone away, And all I’m trying to say, Is *Pearl Harbor* sucked and I miss you.
I need you like Ben Affleck needs acting school, He was terrible in that film. I need you like Cuba Gooding needed a bigger part, He’s way better than Ben Affleck. And now all I can think about is your smile, And that shitty movie too, *Pearl Harbor* sucked and I miss you.
(Interlude)
Why does Michael Bay continue to direct films? I suppose *Pearl Harbor* was just slightly worse Than how much I miss you.
5. *Wild Wild West* (1999)
This film is the epitome of a pointless Hollywood remake. Despite starring talented actors like Kevin Kline and Will Smith, it somehow strips them of all charm and skill for its entire runtime. Their lack of enthusiasm is palpable. Nominated for 9 Razzies in 1999, it won 5, including the hilariously deserved Worst Song award. The photo of Will Smith perfectly captures his apparent thought: ‘What on earth am I doing in this film?’
4. *Twister* (1996)
What lessons did *Twister* teach us?
1) Clinging to a water pipe ensures a tornado can pass right over you without causing any harm.
2) Standing mere feet from a tornado won’t stop you from delivering dramatic lines or hearing others clearly, no matter how strong the wind.
3) Rain is almost nonexistent in the vicinity of tornadoes.
4) Simply mentioning an F-5 tornado will instantly silence a room and cause drinks to spill.
5) Bill Paxton can accurately forecast tornado paths by grabbing a handful of dirt and letting it sift through his fingers.
6) Jan de Bont’s directing skills leave much to be desired.
3. *Batman and Robin* (1997)
This film was nominated for a staggering 11 Razzies and is so bad that watching it in one sitting might give you a headache. Voted the worst movie of all time by *Empire Magazine*, it received three times as many votes as the runner-up, *Battlefield Earth*. Words can’t fully capture its awfulness, so I recommend watching the hilarious 3-minute clip above instead.
This list is courtesy of Chris Rau.
2. *Speed 2: Cruise Control* (1997)
Jan de Bont delivers another disaster with this film. The premise of the original *Speed* is bizarrely applied to the slowest mode of transportation possible—a cruise ship. It feels like an extended *SNL* skit or the infamous steamroller scene from *Austin Powers*. The 10-minute crash into a cardboard village at the end is a highlight. Nominated for 8 Razzies, it only won one: Worst Sequel. However, it faced tough competition from other terrible blockbusters like *The Postman*, *Anaconda*, and the #1 worst blockbuster of all time…
1. *2012* (2009)
David Sheega from CultureLab.com perfectly captures the absurdity of this film:
“…A car races through a city ravaged by earthquakes, performing one impossible stunt after another, including driving straight through a collapsing office building without a scratch. This sets the tone for the entire movie. Characters face no real danger—if they board a plane, it miraculously takes off just as the runway disintegrates. The relentless stream of implausible events numbs viewers to later scientific inaccuracies, like a tsunami capsizing a ship in open ocean (real tsunamis are small until they hit land) or tropical animals surviving freezing temperatures while dangling from helicopters over snow-covered mountains.”
This film is so absurd it becomes unintentionally hilarious. The scene where mountains conveniently shift to the perfect spot for a crash landing is one of the most ludicrous moments in cinematic history. It’s better enjoyed as a comedy than a disaster movie.
