Buzz
If you're reading this, Jamie has entrusted me with the helm of ListUniversal Studios for the day. It's been a hectic journey, as compiling these lists is far more demanding than it seems. I'm moving forward with the following projects, handpicked from my most beloved books, comics, TV series, theatrical works, art pieces, and musical compositions. The best part? ListUniversal Studios has boundless financial resources, ensuring any screen adaptation idea that clears the moderators will be approved.
10. The Beard of Avon Amy Freed
Even if Edward DeVere didn’t pen the plays and sonnets attributed to Shakespeare—which he most likely did—this Oxfordian considers him one of the most intriguing figures in English history. Before reaching twenty-five, he lost his inheritance to his stepfather, whom his mother married shortly after his father’s death, accidentally killed an innocent man during a sword fight, and was abducted by pirates, nearly meeting his end on the plank. Sound familiar? In Amy Freed’s portrayal, the Earl of Oxford is a cunning rogue who mentors William from Stratford, a poet desperate to escape his rural existence and, particularly, his shrewish wife. DeVere uses Shakespeare as a front to produce his subpar plays, an activity deemed unsuitable for someone of his rank. Surprisingly, the Stratfordian has a knack for dialogue, and their partnership becomes a roaring success. Soon, William is revising plays by all the renowned playwrights of the era, including Queen Elizabeth herself. Freed’s talent for emulating the Bard’s writing style makes this play a delight. Could she, perhaps, be a centuries-old poet writing under a pseudonym?
9. The Sandman Neil Gaiman
Discussions about the greatest graphic novel writer often narrow down to four names: Al Eisner, the pioneer of the medium, Frank Miller, Alan Moore, or Neil Gaiman. In my view, The Sandman stands as the finest series ever, or at least on par with WATCHMEN. Morpheus, the Lord of Dreams, is part of a unique family of siblings: Death, Desire, Destruction, Delirium, Despair, and Destiny, collectively known as the Endless. Neil Gaiman’s magnum opus kicks off with Preludes and Nocturnes, a gripping tale of revenge and horror, where Morpheus breaks free and seeks retribution against a cult that imprisoned him for seven decades. Graphic novels lend themselves well to screen adaptations because much of the groundwork—costume design, set design, cinematography, and lighting—is already laid out. The Sandman featured various artists throughout its run, with my favorite artwork appearing in Brief Lives, illustrated by Jill Thompson and inked by Vince Locke. Seasoned Sandman fans are welcome to share their insights for the producer’s consideration.
8. American Idiot Green Day
In the view of one modest listmaker, American Idiot stands as the greatest album of this young century. Its title alone captures the essence of 21st-century anxiety. Filming it in Berkeley, California, Green Day’s hometown, would be fitting.
“My name is Jimmy, and you better not wear it out, Suicide commando that your mom warned you about. King of the 40 thieves, here to represent The needle piercing the vein of the establishment I’m the patron saint of denial With an angelic face and a craving for suicide Cigarettes, ramen, and a tiny bag of dope I’m the son of a devil and Edgar Allan Poe Raised in the city beneath a halo of lights The offspring of war and fear, victims of our plight.”
7. Copperhead Road Steve Earle
Much like other iconic songs, Steve Earle’s Copperhead Road is a masterfully narrated story set to music. It follows John Lee Pettimore, named after his father and grandfather, both bootleggers who met their end in a fiery crash. Drafted into service, John Lee serves two tours in Vietnam. Upon returning to Johnson County, he devises a new scheme: planting seeds from Colombia and Mexico in the hollers of Copperhead Road. Having learned a trick or two from Charlie during the war, John Lee’s Tennessee Tea crop spells trouble for any DEA chopper that stumbles upon it.
6. Time on my Hands Peter Delacorte
The Coen Brothers might take on this project just to feature in Jamie’s follow-up to, “Movies That Outshine the Book.” Delacorte’s ingenious premise involves a travel writer in Paris who encounters a cryptic scientist with a time machine. He’s enlisted for a mission to 1938 Hollywood to thwart Ronald “Dutch” Reagan’s political ambitions before they take root. Taking a screenwriting job at Warner Brothers, he pre-writes classics like “Four O’Clock High.” However, the narrative strays, leaning too heavily on Phillip K. Dick and not enough on Elmore Leonard. The Coen Brothers could reimagine this as a screwball comedy, paying tribute to Preston Sturges. To show Delacorte how Hollywood truly operates, I’ve revamped the story: Gabriel Prince is a self-absorbed actor, and Lorna is a politically driven screenwriter. If they can make Reagan shine in their film, “Four O’Clock High,” they assume he’ll land the role of Rick in Casablanca and enjoy a lengthy acting career, bypassing politics. Oh, and the time machine? It’s all in Lorna’s head after a bump on the head.
5. V. Thomas Pynchon
Many claim that adapting Thomas Pynchon to film is a fool’s errand, and if attempted, “The Crying of Lot 49” is the more feasible option. Cronenberg is the ideal director to capture Pynchon’s bone-dry humor, reminiscent of a Prohibition-era drought. The screenplay should center on Ben Profane and his unique role in the alligator trade, Rachel Owlglass, and the rest of the Whole Sick Crew. Stencil could narrate flashbacks to unravel the enigma of V.
4. Deadwood David Milch
Fans were promised two Deadwood movies to conclude the saga, so let’s see at least one. Dubbed “Shakespeare in the Mud” by a prominent TV critic, it’s arguably the finest written serial drama in television history. However, the show won’t be enshrined among the greats until Milch fulfills his promise.
3. Preacher Garth Ennis
Inspired by Garth Ennis’ Vertigo series, this story boasts three compelling protagonists and a rich ensemble of supporting characters. After a disaster wipes out his entire congregation, a Texas preacher becomes the vessel for Genesis, a half-demon, half-angel entity. He embarks on a journey with Tulip O’Hare, his gun-toting ex-girlfriend, and Cassidy, an Irish vampire, to hunt down the cult behind the tragedy. Think “Left Behind” meets “Dracula” and “The Incredible Hulk,” with a dash of Lara Croft for good measure. UPDATE: Columbia is bringing this to life with Sam Mendes (The Beard of Avon) directing, slated for release in 2011!
2. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay Michael Chabon
Despite persistent rumors, the film adaptation of Michael Chabon’s Pulitzer Prize-winning novel remains in limbo. To bring this deserving project to fruition, I’ll need the support of another industry titan. Chabon’s tale begins in 1939 New York City, where Josef Kavalier, a refugee from Czechoslovakia, joins forces with his cousin, Sammy Klayman. Together, they create “The Escapist,” a comic book featuring a Houdini-esque superhero, which gains traction in the early days of the comic book industry.
1. The Scream Edvard Munch
If a single image can speak a thousand words, why aren’t more films inspired by paintings? There are multiple directions to take with this concept. One approach is crafting a screenplay about the iconic figure clutching his gaunt cheeks, his face twisted in an expression of sheer terror. This could be animated, embracing Munch’s bold colors and sweeping brushstrokes. Alternatively, a live-action film could delve into the artist’s tumultuous life—a troubled alcoholic in early 20th-century Paris who overcame his struggles to become a gentleman farmer, only to pass away during Germany’s occupation of Norway. Another angle could explore the thrilling heists targeting this legendary painting.
