Buzz
If you have friends with kids and you're dreading their invitations, just grab one or two of these toys for your next gift-giving occasion, and watch their reactions.
10. Beads
The first issue is clear—there are usually hundreds of them, and within minutes of opening the package, they're scattered all over the place. And if the kids actually use the beads as intended, they proudly show you a mismatched, incomplete, and poorly-made necklace or bracelet, which they expect you (the parent) to wear every single day without fail.
9. Electronic Noisemakers
Do we really need to explain this one? Just remember—they’ve put a screw on the battery compartment for a reason. It's not to stop kids from eating the batteries (if your child eats batteries, that’s a different issue). It's to make sure kids can’t replace the batteries, because let’s face it, no parent will ever bother to do it.
8. Slime
Slime + Furniture/Carpets/Curtains/Anything = Furious Parent + Child with a sore bottom.
7. Barbie Dolls
Researchers have determined that there’s just a 31-second window between when a Barbie Doll is removed from its box and when it’s discarded by the child, usually with matted or cut hair and completely undressed. And about that box! It's easier to fit a cat into a bathtub than to get that annoying doll out of the packaging. The sequence goes like this: Cut tape, open box, slide out the inner backing with doll and accessories, remove wire ties, cut more tape, take a break, have a drink, cut strings, cut plastic, repeat, repeat, repeat... (At this point, only half of the accessories have been liberated from their plastic trap).
6. Lite Brite
Ever had the delight of stepping on a Lite-Brite peg in the middle of the night? If that experience hasn't graced you yet, just let me know—I'll happily send you a few pegs so you can share in the joy.
5. Easy Bake Oven
Mmm, nothing screams culinary delight quite like old, runny batter cooked under the glow of a 60-watt lightbulb! Look at those delightful treats this little chef has made. Spoiler: That’s nothing like what your child will create. If you gift this toy, be ready to receive the aftermath as their thank-you gift.
4. Bubbles
How could something as simple as bubbles possibly make this list? After all, they’re just a mix of soap and water, right? Harmless, right? WRONG! Parents loathe bubbles with the same intensity that rednecks despise the government. They make every surface they touch sticky, leaving behind annoying water-soap rings on your furniture. As a result, you have no choice but to enforce the ‘outside-only’ rule, leading to an endless stream of requests: “Can we go outside to blow bubbles?”, “Can we go outside to blow bubbles?”, “Can we go outside to blow bubbles?” and so on, ad nauseam.
3. Play Clothes
You might as well dress your kids in brightly colored toilet paper instead of these so-called heavy-duty threads. They're crafted from the weakest materials known to man, stitched together with the thinnest thread, and usually fall apart the moment you open the package. Notice how cheerful the children seem in the photo above? They’re actually being paid to put on that smile. It’s a perfect storm of disappointment: Wasted cash, ruined costumes, and upset kids.
Contributor: BishopWhiteT
2. Pokemon
Gotta Catch ’em All! At $5-20 a pop, trying to catch every single one of these creatures is a perfect strategy if you’re looking to live in poverty. These toys are like child-friendly heroin; one fix, and you're hooked. Plus, a lot of them don’t even look like anything remotely interesting. Take Sudowoodo for instance; it seems like it was conceived during a meal heavy in corn and peas. And don’t even get me started on the show—go ahead, try to watch it, I dare you.
1. Silly String
See: Bubbles
