Buzz
I’ve built a rather impressive and neatly organized collection of fast food sauce packets and tubs, with some being quite rare. I keep them for sauce emergencies—like when Taco Bell overlooks my request for 10 Fire Sauce packets, or when McDonald's hands me BBQ sauce instead of Sweet ‘n Sour. (I also collect McDonald’s straws, as they’re essential for Diet Coke consumption.) Recently, I’ve expanded my collection to the fridge, where I store bottles of branded fast food sauces, and honestly, you should too.
If you haven’t realized, we’re currently in the golden age of sauce availability. Chains like Chick-fil-A, Taco Bell, Arby’s, and even mid-tier spots like Olive Garden and P.F. Changs now bottle their signature sauces, allowing us to take them home and pour them on our own homemade chicken, tacos, roast beef sandwiches, and endless salads. (One unfortunate omission is McDonald’s Sweet ‘n Sour, which isn’t available in bottles, though they’ll let you buy as many tubs as you want for just 25 cents each. Oh well, what can you do?)
At first, I dismissed these bottled sauces as a frivolous indulgence. If I’m craving fast food, I’ll just grab the real deal! But then I came across a bag of frozen chicken nuggets on sale for five bucks, and suddenly that bottle of Chick-fil-A sauce was looking pretty irresistible. That’s when it hit me: I was depriving myself of sauce for no reason at all. Chick-fil-A’s nuggets are fantastic, but I can make chicken nuggets that taste very similar (or pick up a knockoff at Walmart). What I can’t do, though, is recreate their mass-produced dipping sauce. I simply don’t have the ingredients or the tools to make it.
Here’s a random assortment of sauces that go great with chicken nuggets:
Chick-fil-A sauce
Taco Bell Avocado Ranch Sauce
The complete range of Taco Bell’s hot sauces
Olive Garden Italian Dressing (complete with croutons!)
Arby’s Sauce and Horsey Sauce
Whataburger Creamy Pepper Sauce
Panda Express Orange Sauce
P.F. Changs Creamy Ginger Dressing
If we assume each chicken nugget is an ounce, a $11 bag of nuggets and a $4 bottle of sauce gives me 24 nuggets and 16 ounces of sauce for $15. Meanwhile, two 12-piece boxes of Chick-fil-A nuggets will cost around $20, depending on your location. That’s a significant saving, which would be even more if you grab some cheaper (or discounted) chicken nuggets. Either way, it satisfies my fast food cravings without the guilt of giving $15 to Chick-fil-A. (I know the homophobe isn’t directly involved with the company anymore, but he still profits from it. Either way, $4 feels less guilty than $15.)
Apart from saving money, buying bottled sauces means I can enjoy some Taco Bell menu items, even the ones they retire and reintroduce. While making a Crunchwrap (breakfast, regular, or Thanksgiving-flavored) at home is easy, recreating an Avocado Ranch Crispy Chicken Taco is trickier unless you’ve got the sauce. Walmart and Amazon sell it (though it’s a bit pricier than Chick-fil-A’s sauce, probably due to Taco Bell’s on-again, off-again product releases). Drizzle some on a chicken tender wrapped in a tortilla with shredded cheese and the usual Taco Bell veggies, and you’ve got something that’s nearly identical to a “limited-time” Taco Bell item.
Basically, don’t deny yourself a small indulgence. When you’re eating fast food, the sauce is often the key to a truly satisfying meal. A well-chosen, mass-produced condiment can turn inexpensive frozen food into something that tastes like higher-end fast food, saving you both money and a trip to the drive-thru.
