Buzz
Before we were of legal drinking age, my best friend and I spent a lot of time with her older boyfriend and his friends, mostly because they’d let us drink their (pretty awful) alcohol. I was still new to cocktails, and we didn’t have much room to be picky, so we drank a lot of Captain Morgan and Diet Coke, Mike’s Hard Lemonade, and Smirnoff Ices—all of which were honestly pretty terrible.
I’m not sure why guys in their late 20s were choosing those specific drinks back then. They were so sweet that it was tough to have more than a couple, which is frustrating when your main aim is to get drunk. Hard seltzer hadn’t really become a thing yet, at least not in the mainstream way it is today, but I’m pretty sure those men would’ve loved it—and I would’ve happily helped myself to theirs.
Of course, making your own hard seltzer has always been an option. All you need to do is mix alcohol with seltzer, though I prefer to enhance mine with a little simple syrup and bitters. Ranch water is one particular variation of DIY hard seltzer.
Ranch water, in its most basic form, consists of just three ingredients: blanco tequila, lime juice, and Topo Chico. While it's often served in a highball glass, many prefer to make space in the Topo Chico bottle by pouring out (or drinking) a little of the seltzer before assembling the drink right inside the bottle.
It’s like a bubbly, lighter margarita, and it’s the effervescence—and the fairly high ratio of seltzer to alcohol—that gives it its refreshing quality. After all, it's ranch water, so it should be diluted and, well, a bit watery.
Feel free to get creative! Like many seltzer-based cocktails, ranch water is open to adjustments. A splash of hot honey syrup or simple syrup can help balance the sharpness of the alcohol, and some people like to add liqueurs, a pinch of salt, oleo saccharum, or even a slice of pickled jalapeño.
However, the Topo Chico is an essential component. As noted by Garden & Gun, 'the lively effervescence of Topo Chico—the Mexican mineral water introduced in 1895 that has a more pronounced fizz than most—provides the drink with a bubble structure similar to that of Champagne.'
DIY Ranch Water
Ingredients:
1 bottle (12 ounces) of Topo Chico
1 1/2 ounces blanco tequila
1/4 ounce fresh lime juice
A dash of simple syrup (optional)
Open the Topo Chico bottle and pour out or drink about two ounces of the seltzer. Gently—since it will fizz—add the tequila, lime juice, and simple syrup (if desired). Stir lightly with a straw or chopstick, then garnish with a lime wedge.
