Buzz
Yes, these slicers can effortlessly cut almost anything into delicate, uniform slices. But unless you’ve been using one for a long time—and always with a guard or a cut-resistant glove—now is just not the right moment for it. You'll be enticed, calm, and pleased by its smooth, efficient design, and just when you think you've mastered it, you'll either forget the guard or lower your caution, and that’s when disaster strikes. It’s not a question of if you’ll hurt yourself, it’s a question of
I couldn’t find the recent video I was looking for—it seems to have been removed—but I did find a two-year-old clip where Andy prepares chili crisp as part of another dish. In it, he uses a mandoline without a guard but casually mentions that a knife could also be used. It’s a relaxed approach to handling The Sharp One, though he doesn’t *force* the mandoline on you.
I had a moment of realization last Saturday when my partner asked how I managed to slice the onions so thin for the waffled Spam rice bowls I made. (They were shallots, actually.) “I used a mandoline,” I replied. “Oh,” he said casually, “Maybe I’ll get one for my place.” “Absolutely not!,” I yelled, launching into a passionate warning about how he’d end up losing a finger, fainting, and burdening everyone around him with a totally preventable injury. He argued for a bit until I compromised by saying he could only buy one if he wore a cut-resistant glove. That was enough to lose his interest. I then swore off using the Sharp One myself until all of this is over—because who am I kidding? I've only had minor cuts from my mandoline, but it's tasted blood. It’s been waiting, biding its time, for the perfect moment to strike (which I suspect is now).
I could tell you to ‘use the guard’ or ‘wear a glove,’ but here’s the truth: you won’t. Sure, you might start off with safety measures, but soon enough, you’ll get overconfident, lazy, or distracted—and that’s when you’ll end up bleeding. A lot. Normally, this would be bad, but given the current state of things, especially at hospitals, it’s worse than usual. My advice? Stick with a knife for now and leave the mandoline for later.
