Buzz
When I say something is, “that’s fucked up,” it’s actually a compliment. It speaks to the decadence, the edge of ‘this might be too much,’ and just a bit of indulgence, but it also means the dish is delicious. Port wine cheese mashed potatoes—or ‘cheeseball potatoes’—are absolutely fucked up in the best way possible.
I’m hesitant to call this a ‘recipe,’ because apart from seasonings and toppings (which you can customize), it only truly requires two ingredients: Yukon Gold potatoes and port wine cheese spread.
If you're not acquainted with port wine cheese, it's a processed cheese spread made with cheddar, a few types of whey, cream, and of course, a touch of port wine (plus food coloring). The wine itself doesn’t stand out, but there’s a subtle sweetness alongside a sharp, tangy cheese flavor. If you've ever had a port wine cheese ball, you'll know exactly what I mean.
I wish I could say this recipe took a lot of trial and error, but it didn’t. My initial concern that the cheese spread would be too stiff to mix with the potatoes was quickly put to rest; it blended effortlessly. I boiled two pounds of potatoes, passed them through a ricer, then stirred in a tub of port wine cheese. I seasoned with some salt and white pepper. Finally, I topped the potatoes with crispy fried garlic and scallions, although bacon would be a great addition too. (If it belongs on a cheeseball, it’ll work in these potatoes.)
Port Wine Cheeseball Mashed Potatoes
Ingredients Needed:
2 pounds of mashed potatoes
6 1/2 ounces (1 tub) of port wine cheese spread
Salt and white pepper (or regular pepper if preferred)
For garnish: Whatever you’d typically use for a cheese ball; scallions, chives, fried garlic, bacon bits, or even toasted nuts would be perfect.
Fill a large pot with heavily salted water and bring it to a boil. Cut your potatoes into 1 1/2-inch pieces. Boil them until they’re easily mashed with a fork, roughly 15-25 minutes. Drain the potatoes in a colander and rinse them under warm water to wash away extra starch (this helps keep them from becoming gloopy when you mix in the port wine).
Pass the potatoes through a ricer or food mill, then mix in the port wine cheese with a large wooden spoon until the potatoes turn a uniform orange. Taste and add white pepper if necessary. Transfer the potatoes to a bowl, then top with your favorite cheese ball toppings. Serve right away.
