10 topics to discuss with your partner's parents

Almost everyone feels nervous when meeting their partner's parents for the first time. You probably want to make a great impression, but you might be uncertain about what to talk about, right? Whether you have a week to prepare or are frantically searching for conversation starters on the way there, we’re here to help. If you're feeling anxious about the meeting, check out these suggestions for conversation topics that can help you leave a positive impression on your partner's family.

Discussing your partner's strengths subtly implies that his parents have raised him well. Show that you're proud of his achievements and happy that he's kind to you. When they see you appreciate their son, they'll appreciate you even more!

• Share a moment when he did something you admired: “I feel lucky to know Kiên. He’s such a thoughtful and caring person. Just yesterday, I saw him helping a little girl fix her bike.”
• Talk about your boyfriend’s success: “I’m so happy for Tùng that he got promoted. He’s really skilled and hardworking.”

Ask about your boyfriend when he was little. This topic is both easy and fun, especially when you're unsure what to talk about. Parents love discussing their children, and they might even share some funny memories with you.

• “I bet Trung was the class clown back in high school, right? What did the teachers say about him?”
• “What was Hùng like when he was little?”

Read the stories behind the photos. You can learn a lot about your partner's family history or childhood by asking about the pictures. Just remember to keep your comments light and cheerful, and understand that each photo might represent a special memory of a person or a beloved place.

• Point out similarities: “This is Khánh’s grandfather, right? He has the same eyes as Khánh.”
• Ask about the location of the photo: “Where was this photo taken? The scenery is beautiful.”

Keep the conversation light and fun by asking about past, present, and future travel experiences. If his family hasn’t traveled to any special places, you can ask where they would like to go for their vacations. You can even ask about family traditions or local trips if his parents haven’t traveled far.

• Ask about family traditions: “Dương told me that your family goes on picnics every Sunday, right? Where do you usually go?”
• Ask about old trips: “How did you used to travel back in the day?”
• Explore future travel plans: “If you get the chance to travel later, where would you like to go?”

Start with a simple question to learn about their hometown. After that, you can ask more questions, such as what they enjoyed doing there, why they moved, or why they decided to stay if they've always lived in one place. Everyone loves talking about themselves, and you'll get to know more about the family that raised the person you're dating. If possible, try to learn a bit beforehand and ask them about some specific aspects of their hometown.

• If you're unfamiliar with the area, ask: “What was your favorite thing to do there as a child?”
• If you know something about the place, ask more detailed questions like: “Oh, I heard there's a big soccer field there. Have you ever been to a match there?”

Discover their interests to see if you share any common ground. Talking about pop culture is a great way to break the ice if you're not familiar with his family yet. When his parents share their hobbies with you, ask follow-up questions to show you value their opinions and to keep the conversation going. You could even share a book, movie, or band that’s similar to what they're talking about.

• “Have you read any good books lately?”
• “Do you enjoy watching movies?”
• “What kind of music do you like the most?”

Ask your partner about the interests of their parents. These might include hobbies, skills, knowledge, etc. If you share any common ground, prepare a few deep questions related to that topic. Remember, be yourself—don’t pretend to like something just to keep the conversation going. They want to understand the real you.

• “Did Minh say your dad enjoys gardening? I’m thinking of starting a herb garden. Do you have any advice for me?”
• “I also dream of becoming a doctor. What do you love most about the profession?”

Show your boyfriend’s parents that you're interested in learning more about his family. Even if you haven’t met his siblings, you can ask about them or how they’re doing. If they have pets, you could ask about where they adopted it from, the meaning behind its name, or even share a few cute photos.

• “Isn’t your sister, Huy, studying nursing? Does she like the school she’s attending?”
• “I’ve never met Long’s older brother. What’s he like?”
• “Mimi is so smart! Do you have pictures of when she was a puppy?”

If you're unsure of what to say, try this approach. Choose something nice about the family’s house, a unique decoration, or a delicious dish and offer a sincere compliment or thank you. This will win the family’s favor with your thoughtfulness and can serve as a conversation starter. After complimenting, ask an open-ended question related to it.

• Compliment the decor: “This living room is so bright and comfortable. Where did you buy this sofa set?”
• Compliment the meal: “The meal was delicious. Thank you so much. Where did you learn to cook this dish?”

Avoid discussing family issues, religion, or politics. If someone brings up a controversial topic you disagree with, consider whether it’s worth responding. If it’s something you’re deeply passionate about, you can express your opinion respectfully and clearly. If you’re uncomfortable disagreeing, it’s best to hold off on sharing your opinion until you’ve built a stronger relationship with the family.

• Express disagreement politely with phrases like “I see it a bit differently,” which is gentler than saying “I disagree.”
• You could also smile and change the subject, or say “I’m not sure!”

Whether asked about movies or work, always maintain a positive attitude. If someone asks about something you don’t enjoy, try to steer the conversation in a different direction. It’s okay to express mild dislike or some disagreement, but do so tactfully and keep it moderate to avoid seeming rude.

• Change the topic by asking about someone else’s life, like “That subject isn’t my favorite, but I learned a lot. When you were in college, which subject did you find most challenging?”
• If you really want to voice an opinion, try to minimize the criticism: “I wasn’t too fond of that movie, but the soundtrack was amazing.”