Let go of an ex or an unrequited love, once and for all
Are you still stuck on an ex or someone who turned you down? You're not alone. Romantic rejection can be incredibly painful, and it’s perfectly normal to struggle with moving on. Thankfully, there are multiple steps you can take to heal and stop thinking about this person. We’ll walk you through them. Keep reading for helpful guidance, and remember, you will get through this.
Techniques to Stop Caring About Someone
- Give yourself permission to truly experience your emotions, rather than suppressing or avoiding them.
- Cut ties with this person on social media, and refrain from contacting them through phone calls or messages.
- Devote time to yourself, exploring your personal interests, hobbies, and long-term goals.
- Spend quality time with friends and family, reminding yourself of the love and support you have in your life.
- Reflect on why you and this person aren’t the right match for each other.
- Consider what qualities you’re seeking in a future partner or relationship.
- Work through your emotions with the help of a professional therapist or counselor.
Steps to Take

Face the reality of the situation. Whether you're experiencing rejection from a crush or going through a breakup, it’s crucial to accept that the other person doesn’t want to continue the relationship. As painful as it is, this acknowledgment is the first step toward emotional recovery and moving forward. It may take time, but healing is possible!
- You may feel the urge to try and change their mind, but try to resist. Once a decision has been made, it's important to honor it.
- When thoughts about them arise, redirect your focus inward. This is an opportunity to invest in yourself and grow as an individual.

Allow yourself to experience your emotions. It’s perfectly natural to feel sadness or grief after romantic rejection. Suppressing these feelings will only cause them to resurface later. Instead, let yourself fully experience your emotions, process them, and eventually release them. Here are a few suggestions:
- Let yourself cry. Crying is not only cathartic, but it’s scientifically proven to help you feel better. Tears release oxytocin and flush away stress hormones.
- Listen to sad breakup songs. It may seem odd, but music can provide comfort after heartbreak. It helps you feel less isolated and can even inspire compassion and hope.
- Write in a journal. Don’t worry about grammar—just express yourself freely. Journaling can help you process your emotions, which is key to moving on.
- Reader Poll: We asked 283 Mytour readers how they cope after losing someone, and 55% said they express their emotions and cry. [Take Poll]

Give yourself some time apart from them. While it’s possible to remain friends with an ex or someone who rejected you, taking a break is essential. If you're still in constant contact or meeting up, it’ll be tough to truly get over them. A period of separation provides the emotional distance necessary to heal and, if you wish, potentially form a healthy friendship in the future.
- During this time, avoid seeing them in person or communicating through calls or messages. It’s challenging, but try to remain strong!

Unfollow them on social media. Seeing posts from your crush or ex can be a painful reminder of what could have been. Staying connected online may also keep alive the hope of reconciling, which makes it harder to let go.
- If you're ready to sever ties, consider unfriending or unfollowing them on Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, and TikTok.
- If it’s difficult to completely disconnect—perhaps due to shared work or social circles—try muting them on Instagram, Snapchat, or Facebook.
- This allows you to keep the “connection” without seeing their posts.

Put away sentimental items. If you have gifts or pictures that remind you of your connection, store them away for a while. These items, much like social media posts, can serve as reminders of your bond, which can make it harder to move on.
- You don’t need to throw them away—they hold sentimental value and are a part of your personal history.
- Simply store them in a box or keep them somewhere out of sight for a while, like in a closet or under your bed.
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Embrace mindfulness. Mindfulness helps you stay rooted in the present, freeing you from the burden of past emotions and future anxieties. By practicing mindfulness, you can take steps towards healing. Here are some ways to integrate mindfulness into your routine:
- Practice mindful meditation. This method has been shown to enhance sleep, lower blood pressure, and alleviate stress, anxiety, and depression.
- Engage in yoga. Yoga is an excellent way to stay physically active while also helping you relax, reduce stress, and improve your overall mood.

Build self-confidence. Experiencing romantic rejection can take a hit on your self-esteem. However, it's essential to remember that this rejection does not define your worth or how special you are. Try reciting affirmations or listing all the things you appreciate about yourself. Strengthening your self-confidence in this way can help you stop caring about what the other person thinks of you.
- Affirmations like, “I deserve love and respect,” “I am a beacon of warmth and positivity,” and “I embrace who I am” can be powerful reminders of your inherent value.

Dive into your hobbies and passions. Engaging in a fun activity can be a great way to shift your focus and take your mind off your ex. It can also provide a welcome burst of joy and excitement. Reconnect with an old hobby you haven’t had time for, or explore something entirely fresh. Here are a few ideas to inspire you:
- Creative hobbies include crochet, drawing, painting, playing musical instruments, singing, and dancing.
- Intellectual pursuits involve reading, writing, enrolling in a course, or diving deep into a subject that interests you.
- Physical activities like hiking, running, biking, swimming, boxing, basketball, tennis, soccer, and yoga are great for staying fit while having fun.

Pursue a thrilling new goal. After a setback in your romantic life, throwing yourself into a fresh goal can be an incredibly healing experience. Focusing on self-improvement not only distracts you but can also bring a huge boost in confidence when you achieve your goal. Here are some possibilities:
- Earn a new certification that opens up new career opportunities.
- Start that creative project you've always dreamed of, whether it’s writing a novel or learning an instrument like the guitar.
- Set a fitness target, such as working out regularly, completing a half marathon, or joining a local sports team.

Lean on your network of support. While it's perfectly okay to take some time alone to heal after a breakup, try not to isolate yourself too much. Solitude can lead to deeper feelings of sadness and loneliness, hindering your recovery. Spend quality time with close friends and family who care about you, reminding yourself of all the love and support you have.

Reflect on why the relationship ended. After a breakup, your mind might only highlight the good moments, pushing away the negative experiences, making it harder to move on. If you find yourself idealizing the past, gently bring yourself back to reality by considering the tough questions about the relationship. For instance:
- Did you have disagreements on significant issues? What kind of conflicts did you often encounter?
- Were there differences that could have made a long-term relationship challenging?
- Were they always respectful and kind, or did they sometimes treat you poorly?
- Were there red flags that you ignored because of your strong feelings for them?

Consider your desires for future relationships. Take this opportunity to deeply reflect on what you truly want in a future partner. What are your non-negotiables in a relationship? What values and life goals would you want your partner to share? What does your ideal, loving relationship look like?
- Reflecting on these questions helps you gain a better understanding of yourself, preparing you for when the right person enters your life.
- It's also a great way to redirect your focus toward the future, rather than dwelling on your past relationship with your ex.

Seek professional help. If you're finding it difficult to heal on your own, consider reaching out to a licensed therapist or counselor. A professional can help you process your emotions and address any underlying feelings of anxiety or depression. Remember, you're not alone in this journey!
- If you're unsure where to start, ask a trusted friend or family member for recommendations, or browse online directories to find a therapist that suits your needs.

Be patient—healing is a process. If it feels like you’re taking longer than you expected to move on, don't worry. There’s no set timeline for overcoming rejection or a breakup, and it can look different for everyone. Be gentle with yourself, and allow time for your healing. You're doing your best, and that's perfectly okay!
Why It's Essential to Stop Caring

It’s beneficial for your mental health. Fixating on someone who doesn’t share your feelings can seriously impact your emotional well-being. While feelings of sadness are normal and to be expected, they should be temporary. By refusing to let go, you're only prolonging negative emotions, which isn't healthy for you in the long run.

It creates space for new thoughts. Constantly dwelling on someone takes up a huge chunk of mental space, leaving little room for your passions, hobbies, and personal goals. Letting go will free up that space, allowing you to focus on your own growth and happiness.

It enhances your self-awareness. When you work through the emotions of a romantic rejection, you gain deeper insight into who you are. You’ll uncover your relationship patterns and understand more about what you truly desire in a future partner. You’ll also discover your inner strength, as enduring heartbreak and emerging stronger is a true testament to your resilience. This journey of self-discovery can be incredibly empowering!

It opens your heart to new possibilities. When you're consumed by thoughts of your ex or someone who turned you down, you unintentionally shut yourself off from other potential connections. The ideal person might be right in front of you, but you could miss them if you’re still holding onto someone else. That’s why letting go is essential—so you’re ready when the right person enters your life!
Typical Reasons for Break-Ups

It can be challenging to move on without understanding why the relationship ended. If you’re left feeling hurt or confused, it can be hard to move forward. While it’s not always possible to pinpoint the exact reasons for a breakup, there are common causes that might have played a role—and they often have nothing to do with you or your worth. For example:
- They might have been overwhelmed with work or school commitments, leading them to break up in order to focus on their responsibilities.
- They might be dealing with personal struggles, such as mental health issues or family problems, which left them with little energy to invest in a relationship.
- They may not have been ready for a relationship. If they knew they couldn’t give you the attention or commitment you deserve, they may have ended things to prevent further hurt down the line.
