Buzz
A comprehensive guide to making new connections after relocating to a different town or city.
Starting fresh in a new place is exciting, but without knowing anyone, it can feel isolating. So, how do you break the ice and form friendships? Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered. Read on for tips on stepping out of your comfort zone and meeting new faces, with expert insights from Kevin Wang of Amiccio, a social events organization based in New York.
Top Methods for Meeting People in a New City
- Reach out to acquaintances of your existing friends.
- Strike up conversations with neighbors and become a familiar face at a local cafe or bar.
- Take time to build relationships with your coworkers.
- Participate in a club, sports activity, or volunteer for a cause you're passionate about.
- Explore social apps like BumbleBFF or MeetUp to connect with like-minded people.
- Join local Facebook groups or explore your city’s subreddit for ways to engage with the community.
- Consider moving in with someone, especially if they’re familiar with the area.
Steps
Making Friends in a New City
Reach out to friends of friends. Check if any of your friends, family, or acquaintances know someone in your new city who might be able to introduce you. Even if the connection doesn’t lead to your best friend forever, this person can help you get familiar with your new surroundings and make you feel less isolated.
- They could invite you out and introduce you to their social circle, which opens up a variety of opportunities! Or they might guide you to the best cafes, bars, clubs, and other hotspots in your new area.
- At the very least, it’s comforting to know someone in your new city, even if they’re not your ideal match.
Get acquainted with your neighbors. When you first meet your neighbors, introduce yourself quickly—and then make it a habit to greet them whenever you cross paths. Getting to know the people around you will help you feel more rooted in your new community.
- You might introduce yourself with something like, “Hey, I’m Dave, I just moved into the apartment next door.”
- Building relationships with your neighbors also means exploring your neighborhood. Take walks, ride your bike around town, visit local shops and the library, and learn about the local events and community issues that matter.
Strike up conversations with your coworkers. If you’re starting a new job in a new city, the workplace can be an excellent environment to meet people. Even if your relationships with coworkers don’t extend beyond the office, it’s still important to be friendly, and socializing at work can help with feelings of loneliness as you build your social circle outside of work.
- Try asking your coworkers for advice or recommendations, or give a compliment:
- “Hey, Marwa, have you tried that cafe on the first floor? Is it any good?”
- “Dana, I love your style! Where do you find such great clothes?”
Frequent local hangouts. “In many large cities, there are certain places people go to be social,” says Wang. “These might be bars, parks, or concerts.” Find a cafe, bookstore, bar, park, or another public space, and make it your go-to. Over time, you’ll get familiar with the staff and regular visitors, helping you build connections.
- Consider introducing yourself to the barista or bartender when you first visit: “I just moved to the area, and this is my first time here. What do you recommend?”
- Returning to the same spot regularly will help you feel more at home in your new neighborhood and give you a sense of routine, which can be grounding.
Practice striking up conversations with strangers. If you were the shy type back home, now’s the perfect chance to step out of your shell and become more social. It just takes a little effort! Talking to strangers might lead to a new friendship—but even if it doesn’t, it will improve your social skills and help you meet people in the future.
- Next time you're at a cafe, store, concert, or public place, consider approaching someone and starting a quick chat.
- Offering a compliment or asking an open-ended question that requires more than just a yes/no answer is a great way to get a conversation going.
- For example, if you spot someone wearing a band T-shirt that you adore, you might tell them how great their taste is and see where it leads. It could be nothing—or it could turn into a new friendship.
- Wang advises, “If you're shy, that's okay. The key is for the conversation to feel balanced—one person shouldn't dominate or stay silent.”
Find a roommate. Consider getting a roommate (or multiple roommates) during your first year to help you adjust to your new city. If you share a place with someone who’s lived there for a while, they may offer valuable advice about your new home.
- If you share a place with another newcomer, you’ll have someone to explore the area with and be buddies while settling in.
- Even if you don’t form a close friendship, it’s still nice to have someone you see every day as you get used to your new life.
Get (or borrow) a dog. Nothing draws people in like a cute dog. If you own one, taking them with you everywhere is a great way to have strangers approach you to compliment your dog, which could spark a conversation. Plus, if they also have pets, it’s a natural bonding topic.
- “This is Vera, my puppy. We’re both new here and would love to meet fellow dog lovers!”
- “You have a dog, too? Can I ask which vet you go to? We’re new in town and I’d love to get your recommendations!”
- Of course, don’t get a pet solely to meet people—but if you’ve been thinking about adopting or already have one, meeting new friends is a nice bonus.
Join a group. Finding a group of like-minded people to regularly engage with in a shared activity is one of the best ways to meet new friends. “Getting involved in social activities or hobbies will expose you to new people,” says Wang. “By bonding over common interests, you can form meaningful friendships.”
- Whether it’s a political group, a religious organization, a book club, or any other collective, joining a group will expand your social circle.
- If you were part of a group in your old town, see if they have a branch in your new city or ask for recommendations for similar ones.
Pick up a sport. Sports aren’t just a great way to stay active and have fun; they also offer excellent opportunities to meet new people and build connections.
- Wang notes that it's “easier to engage with others when you’re already participating in an activity together, like yoga classes, dance groups, running clubs, or pickup soccer.”
Join local Facebook groups or subreddits. Joining Facebook groups or subreddits related to your new city (e.g., “r/pittsburgh” or “r/astoria”) can be an excellent way to connect with others in your neighborhood without leaving your home just yet. You’ll get the inside scoop on local events, popular spots, and activities, plus people might be open to meeting up for real-life hangouts!
Use an app to meet people. Mobile apps aren’t just for dating—although you can certainly use them for that as well in a new city! There are numerous apps designed to help you connect with people and form lasting friendships with locals.
- While these apps are great for finding potential friends, remember that the ultimate goal is to meet people in real life and move the conversations beyond the app.
- Try BumbleBFF to find others who are looking for friends in your area. Many may be newcomers too!
- Use Meetup to discover groups based on shared interests, whether it’s a hobby, profession, or local community.
- If you're also interested in dating, apps like Bumble, Tinder, and Hinge can help you meet singles while exploring your new city.
Volunteer for a cause close to your heart. Volunteering for an organization that resonates with your values is a fantastic way to meet others who share your beliefs and interests. Whether it's a homeless shelter, a prison reform group, or a food bank, you’ll not only give back to your new city but also create meaningful connections with like-minded people. And you might make a few friends along the way!
Don’t hesitate to make the first move. As a kid, friendships often formed organically, but as an adult, building new connections usually requires taking initiative. “The most important thing... is to put yourself out there,” says Wang. “No matter how outgoing you are, if you're just sitting at home on the couch watching Netflix, nothing is going to change.”
- Taking the first step can sometimes lead to rejection—and that’s okay! It’s natural, and it probably isn’t personal, even if it feels like it.
Say “yes” to most things. Grab every opportunity to socialize, meet new people, or simply try something new (within reason, of course). Skipping out on happy hour with coworkers in favor of staying home is tempting, and auditioning for a play might push you far outside your comfort zone. However, saying “yes” opens the door to new friendships and experiences in your new city.
- Plus, the more you say “yes,” the more invitations you’ll receive!
- Of course, don’t say “yes” to everything—trust your instincts. If you’re not feeling a connection with someone or you're not up for an event, it’s okay to decline politely.
Be patient. Making new connections takes time, so try not to get discouraged if you don’t immediately click with others. While it’s possible to meet a lifelong friend right away, more often than not, you’ll need to engage with several people before finding those with whom you truly connect. It may also take a few interactions to deepen your bond with someone.
- Even if, after months or even a year, you haven’t found your core group, remember that every conversation and interaction—no matter how minor—helps you establish a foundation and a sense of belonging in your new home.
- If you’ve met up once already, Wang suggests, “take the lead and suggest doing something together again. If the other person is interested, it’ll be easy to make plans. However, some may verbally express interest but fail to follow through—this is where actions speak louder than words.”
EXPERT ADVICE
Amiccio
Social Events Host
Social Events Host
There are plenty of ways to make friends as an adult. Although you might not have the built-in social circles from school or a new job, you still have a wealth of life experience and existing connections to draw from. Through friends, acquaintances, activities, and shared hobbies, you can easily meet new people and form lasting bonds.
Is it common to feel lonely after relocating?
Absolutely, it’s perfectly normal to experience loneliness after relocating. Even if you’re eager for the move, the process of uprooting your life can trigger complex emotions like grief, unease, uncertainty, or sadness—particularly if you’re unfamiliar with your new surroundings. So if you’re feeling lonely after relocating, remember that you’re not the only one.
- It might take anywhere from several months to a few years (or longer) to feel truly “settled” in a new place, so don’t be concerned if you don’t feel a sense of belonging immediately. It will take time to forge connections and truly feel like you’re a part of your new community.
