Buzz
How do you get back at someone who’s wronged you without facing consequences (or breaking the law)?
Whether it’s been a day, a week, or even a month, the anger never seems to fade. The thought of that person continues to stir up frustration inside you. But how can you take your revenge without involving yourself directly in the mess? If you're set on getting even, we’ve put together a list of sneaky ways to get under their skin. Just remember, revenge is often petty and brings you down to the same level as the one who wronged you. If you’re starting to have second thoughts and are seeking closure, we’ve also included some alternative strategies and ways to handle the situation.
Disclaimer: Never engage in any violent or illegal acts, and avoid creating unnecessary harm to others while seeking revenge.
Things to Consider
- One way to get back at someone is by signing them up for endless spam emails or sending them a bizarre anonymous gift, such as animal waste.
- Take some time to reflect on whether revenge is what you truly want. Many people find that it doesn’t give them the satisfaction they expected, or that it leaves them feeling worse.
- Consider other methods of dealing with the person that don’t involve revenge, like having a direct conversation or simply ignoring them.
Action Steps
Creative Revenge Ideas
Sign them up for spammy mailing lists to overwhelm their inbox. If you can access your enemy’s email or home address, register them for as many advertising services as you can find. Before long, they’ll be flooded with annoying junk mail every time they check their inbox or head to the mailbox.
- For extra spite, target subscriptions that promote awkward products like hair loss treatments.
- Note: This prank can fall into murky legal waters, so be cautious as it may violate certain laws depending on your location.
Hire a service to deliver an unpleasant surprise gift. Believe it or not, there are companies that specialize in sending stinky, rude, or otherwise offensive mystery packages to someone on your behalf. Depending on how much you're willing to spend, you could send your enemy any of the following:
- Glitter ($10 and up, from Ship Your Enemies Glitter)
- Animal droppings (cow, elephant, or gorilla poop, $18 and up, from PoopSenders)
- Mayonnaise-filled envelope ($45, from Mayobymail)
Give them a fright in the bathroom. A tried and true prank—purchase a pack of bang snaps (aka pop-its or devil bangers) from a novelty store and tape a few underneath your enemy’s toilet seat. When they sit down, the small explosions will take them by surprise and surely startle them.
- This prank requires access to your enemy's home or being one step ahead if you’re targeting them at school or work.
Offer them a gross mayonnaise-filled pastry. Carefully slice open a donut and replace its filling with mayonnaise. Put it back together and leave it for your unsuspecting enemy to find. Make sure to lock eyes with them as they take that fateful bite to let them know you got them.
- This sneaky trick can be done with other cream-filled treats like éclairs, cannolis, strudels, or macarons.
Interrupt their sleep with an online wake-up call service. If you have their phone number, you’re just one step away from giving them a jarring wake-up. Simply enter their number into a wake-up call service like Snoozester or WakeUpDialer, set a time (the earlier, the better), and imagine their frustration when an automated call disrupts their peaceful slumber at the crack of dawn.
- Eventually, they might block the unknown number once they catch on, and many phones have “Do Not Disturb” features that could prevent these calls.
- Warning: Like signing someone up for spam, enrolling someone in unwanted wake-up calls can have legal implications depending on your location.
Hire a professional to exact revenge for you. The revenge industry is thriving. For a price, services like Get Revenge On Your Ex will handle the entire process, planning and executing the perfect revenge while you sit back and enjoy the show. No mess, no stress—just pure satisfaction from watching your enemy suffer.
- Some of the tricks these services offer include sending anonymous messages, letters, and even voodoo dolls.
- While some of these companies claim to stay within the boundaries of the law, always exercise caution before outsourcing your vendetta.
Hire a skywriter to deliver a humiliating message. Reach out to a local skywriting service and watch your message of choice take to the skies. Whether it’s a public humiliation or a personal secret, a plume of smoke or a custom banner can make a lasting impression.
- Keep your message brief and to the point: something like “Allison Smith is afraid of squirrels” or “Bobby McGee still wets the bed” will ensure your message lands with maximum impact.
- Choose a day with clear weather, ideally in an area where people who know your enemy will be, such as downtown or at an outdoor event.
- Skywriting is a spectacular method of revenge, but it’s not cheap. Prices range from $1,000 to $3,000 for a smoke trail, and custom banners cost up to $500 an hour or $2 per square foot.
- Warning: Embarrassing or defamatory messages may qualify as defamation and could harm the person’s reputation, so proceed with caution.
Healthy Alternatives to Revenge
Choose to be the bigger person when someone wrongs you. Revenge might feel satisfying at first, but research shows that those who seek revenge often don’t feel better afterward. In fact, many people feel worse after carrying out their vengeful plans. To protect your mental health, it’s usually best to let go of negativity and move forward.
- Opting not to seek revenge is an empowering choice. It shows that you are in control of your actions and reactions.
- As the old Spanish proverb goes: “No revenge is more honorable than the one not taken.”
Try to understand both yourself and the other person. No matter what led to this person becoming your enemy, they too have their own struggles. Instead of focusing on them, turn your attention inward to recognize your own strengths, positive qualities, and unique perspective on life. The more energy you direct towards your own growth, the less you’ll have left to focus on your enemy.
Focus on the positive outcomes instead of the negative ones. The temptation of revenge might give you a momentary thrill, but it can also cast a long, dark shadow over your life. Resist the urge to dwell on the past and maintain a positive mindset by appreciating the good things you have. If you find yourself stuck in old grievances, try writing in a journal to keep track of your positive experiences.
- Consider looking at your enemy’s actions as hidden blessings. Perhaps a friend’s betrayal has taught you to be more selective about who you trust.
- Don’t be too upset that you’re the target of their anger—if they’re going out of their way to hurt you, it likely means they see you as significant in some way.
Turn your enemy's hostility into fuel for your own success. While hurtful words and actions can sting, they can also serve as a source of motivation. Channel the energy you’d normally spend holding onto resentment into something productive like exercise, learning, or pursuing a new passion. As Joyce Carol Oates wisely said, “the best revenge is living well without you.”
- Heading to the gym or taking a walk outside is a great way to release built-up tension. Meditating, doing yoga, or venting to a close friend or family member are other great options for finding peace.
Take a moment to reflect before making any decisions about revenge. The urge for retaliation tends to be strongest right after the hurtful event, but it’s also when your emotions are at their most intense and your judgment may be clouded. Give yourself time to cool off before taking action. Once the anger fades, you may find that your desire for revenge evaporates altogether.
- Even if you don’t feel better after some time has passed, you’ll have a clearer perspective, which will help you figure out the best course of action.
Other Ways to Handle the Situation
Address the person directly about their actions. Before planning any elaborate ways to make your enemy regret their actions, take a step back and attempt to resolve things calmly. Let them know exactly what behavior you find unacceptable and how it makes you feel. As the bigger person, you have a responsibility to attempt resolution before things escalate.
- For example, confronting a bully might be all it takes to get them to back off. Stand tall, look them in the eye, and firmly say, “That’s enough. I’m done with your nonsense.” Alternatively, you could approach them more diplomatically by asking, “What’s your issue with me? I’ve never done anything to you.”
- If the person giving you trouble is a colleague, choose your words carefully to avoid escalating the situation and damaging your professional rapport. In such cases, it may be helpful to discreetly involve a supervisor.
Respond to your tormentor with a sharp, witty comeback. Sometimes, the perfect retort is all it takes to put someone in their place. When your enemy starts provoking you, think on your feet and come up with a clever reply that flips the script on what they’ve said or done. If you can land a blow to their ego, they’ll hesitate before bothering you again.
- If your enemy insults you by asking, “Do you still wear diapers?” you could respond with, “Why, do you want to borrow one?”
- One of the best examples of a cutting comeback comes from Dorothy Parker. When confronted by a drunk critic who said, “I can’t stand fools,” she calmly replied, “Apparently your mother could.”
- Tip: The best comebacks tend to be spontaneous, so they’re not easy to rehearse. For inspiration, try watching classic Marx Brothers films or stand-up comedy routines where comedians deal with hecklers.
Ignore the person and refuse to give them any attention. Rather than engaging with your enemy or stressing over how to outdo them, simply remove them from your focus altogether. The ultimate way to take back your power is to stop allowing them to waste your time, energy, or mental space. If they want to sneer at you, let them do it behind your back as you walk away.
- To truly distance yourself from your enemy, take steps like blocking them on social media, avoiding places where they frequent, and refusing to engage when they try to speak with you.
- Remember: if you let their actions or words bother you when they’re not around, you’re allowing them to control you. They’ve already won.
Warnings
- Never respond to illegal actions with more illegal actions. For instance, if a neighbor damages your property, don’t retaliate by damaging theirs. Instead, report the incident to the authorities and allow the police to take care of the situation.
