Buzz
Turn their obsession into your advantage and leave them wanting more.
Although a narcissist may appear completely focused on themselves, it’s entirely possible to capture their interest and make them addicted to you. In this article, we’ll provide you with everything you need to know about making a narcissistic individual completely fixated on you. Remember, just because someone exhibits narcissistic traits, it doesn’t mean they have Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), which can only be diagnosed by a licensed therapist.
Steps
Let them approach you.
Make them earn the attention they crave. When they enter the room, resist the urge to immediately greet them—wait for them to come to you. If they text you, delay your response by a few hours. This little game will surely leave them restless, and they'll be compelled to seek your attention.
- Don’t ignore them entirely—just let them know that you won’t always be available for their attention immediately or constantly.
Exude confidence.
Your confidence will naturally attract them. When you enter a space, walk with purpose, keep your head up, and make eye contact with others. Approach people first and introduce yourself to take charge of the room. Even if you're not feeling fully confident, you can always fake it until you make it.
- People with high self-esteem naturally draw others to them—especially those who lean toward narcissism. Though narcissists may appear self-assured, they often hide profound insecurity beneath the surface.
- Be aware that they might try to diminish your worth to lift their own. Remember, it’s not about you, but about their lack of self-worth.
Spend time with your friends frequently.
Prioritizing others will make them crave your attention more. In relationships, self-centered people often expect to be the sole focus of your time. They may even want you to abandon your friends for them. Instead, make it a habit to hang out with others and share your experiences with them. This will likely spark feelings of jealousy and possessiveness, motivating them to work even harder for your attention.
- For an easy way to show off how much fun you’re having, take pictures with your friends and share them on social media.
Play a little hot and cold.
Keep them guessing by switching up your behavior each day. If they thrive on control, flipping the script will keep them off-balance: shower them with compliments and attention one day, then act a little aloof the next. This unpredictability will leave them both confused and fascinated by your actions.
- For example, you could have a lively conversation with them one day, then be unavailable for a chat the next.
- Or, you might reply to their texts promptly one day and leave them hanging the next.
Mytour Quiz: Am I in a Relationship with a Narcissist?
Only a qualified mental health professional can diagnose Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but there are plenty of warning signs you can look out for. Take this quiz to see where you stand.
1 of 12
How did they behave when you first started seeing each other?
Change your plans on a whim.
Keep them on their toes by being unpredictable. Narcissistic individuals love to maintain control, and they might even change plans at the last minute to hold onto that power. You can flip the script and take control yourself by changing the plans unexpectedly. Not only will this frustrate them, but it could also leave them a bit impressed.
- “I know we had dinner reservations at 7, but I called and canceled. Let’s hit the food trucks instead.”
- “Actually, I’m not in the mood for the beach today. Let’s just stay home and relax.”
Be theatrical.
If they thrive on drama, give them a taste of it! If they struggle with empathy, they might revel in drama as long as it's not directed at them. To get them hooked on you, play into their love for drama by sharing wild stories from your circle or recounting a crazy event at work. Even if they can’t directly engage, they’ll love hearing about it.
Pay attention to your appearance.
They might enjoy being with someone who enhances their image. You don't need to overhaul your entire look, but try to keep up with current fashion trends. If you wear makeup, apply it thoughtfully, make sure your hair is well-groomed, and maintain a confident posture. The more polished you look, the more they'll be drawn to you.
- People fixated on their appearance and how they’re perceived by others often want a partner who reflects their high standards.
Encourage them to evolve.
Point out their negative behavior to inspire positive changes. Gently bring up their actions that could be improved to motivate them to change. While this might trigger insecurity, it could also make them strive harder to win your approval.
- “I didn’t like how you yelled at me earlier; it really hurt my feelings.”
- “When you insult me, it makes me feel diminished.”
-
A licensed therapist is the only one who can diagnose clinical NPD.
-
Not everyone with NPD is manipulative or toxic. Some individuals with NPD can manage their symptoms through therapy and/or medication.
