Buzz
A breakup often brings a wave of sadness, not just for the couple but also for other family members who may feel the impact. If you’ve grown close to your son’s ex-girlfriend, it might feel like losing a loved one when the two of you no longer stay in touch. If you wish to talk to her to express your feelings, that’s completely normal, but handle the situation with care. This article can help you consider both your son’s and his ex-girlfriend’s perspectives. Think about speaking with your son first, then write her a heartfelt and concise letter to share your emotions while maintaining a neutral stance.
Steps
Talk to Your Son First
Let him know you care about his ex-girlfriend and want to speak with her. Give your son time to think about your request and respect his decision (even if he might not want you to contact her). It’s possible they parted amicably, and your son is fine, but don’t forget that both are still healing. Your son might not want you to reach out to her, and that’s completely understandable.
- Avoid pressuring your son to agree to your conversation with his ex. You might not know all the details of their breakup, and your interaction could make her uncomfortable.
- Even if your son doesn’t want you to talk to her now, he might change his mind later. Wait at least a few months and gently ask again once he’s had time to heal. Many people need a period of no contact (with anyone in the family) to recover after a breakup.
Send a Card
A card with a heartfelt message is an excellent choice. Write a kind, encouraging note, keeping it simple and sincere. A card allows you to convey your message while giving her the opportunity to respond at her convenience.
- To avoid awkwardness, consider mailing the card instead of delivering it in person.
Make a Phone Call
This is a good option if you prefer a more personal conversation. Choose a time when neither of you is busy with work or school, and call her to express your feelings. While it might not be easy, try to stay composed. Avoid calling to suggest they get back together or to discuss details of their relationship. Instead, simply wish her well and share how happy you are to have known her.
- If you call multiple times and she doesn’t answer, she might not be ready to talk. Everyone handles breakups differently, and your son’s ex may need some space.
Express Your Happiness for Knowing Her
She’ll appreciate knowing she made a positive impression on you. This is a great way to express your feelings in a constructive manner. Your son’s ex-girlfriend might find it difficult to discuss their relationship, especially if the breakup is recent. Stay cheerful and thank her for everything she brought to your family.
- To show your gratitude, you could say something like, “I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed getting to know you. Our family outings were always so much fun because of you. Thank you for being a part of our lives these past few years!”
- Acknowledge any gifts she gave you. For example, you might say, “Thank you for the beautiful scarf you gave me on my birthday. I get so many compliments whenever I wear it.”
Offer Kind and Encouraging Words
Let her know you wish her well and hope for her happiness. No matter how she feels about the breakup, your son’s ex-girlfriend will value your kindness. However, be cautious when mentioning the breakup. You can wish her happiness without delving into specifics.
- Send a warm message like, “I hope you’re doing well. Wishing you all the best in everything!”
- While you might feel tempted to tell her your son made a mistake by breaking up, this could reopen wounds or complicate the situation further.
Express That You’ll Miss Her
You might have formed a close bond with your son’s ex-girlfriend. It’s natural to feel sad about not seeing her anymore, and you can share that with her. Keep it brief, though, as you don’t want her to feel guilty. She’s likely going through a tough time herself.
- Try saying something like, “You know, we’re really going to miss your laughter and humor at our family dinners!”
Keep Your Message Brief
It’s best to avoid reaching out multiple times. Staying in touch with your son’s ex-girlfriend might make both of them uncomfortable. It could also make you seem overly involved. No matter how much you miss her, keep your message short, kind, and supportive.
- Even if you hope your son and his ex get back together, staying in contact with her won’t help achieve that. Ultimately, they need space to figure out what they truly want.
Don’t Be Upset If She Doesn’t Respond
Your son’s ex-girlfriend might be going through a tough time. Breakups are challenging for many people, and they often need space and quiet time to heal. If you send a letter and don’t get a reply or call and she doesn’t answer, respect her wishes and refrain from further contact.
- After some time has passed, she might respond and send her best wishes your way!
