Buzz
Got a big interview, first date, or important meeting coming up? It's normal to feel anxious or unsure about what to say. Prepare ahead by practicing calming techniques or imagining the meeting going well. When the time comes, boost your confidence with simple actions like dressing sharp and staying positive. Meeting someone new doesn’t have to be stressful—when you’re ready, you’ll feel more self-assured and at ease.
Helpful Steps
Managing Anxiety
Reframe your mindset. That jittery feeling in your stomach or chest tightness? It could just as easily be excitement. The body reacts to both emotions similarly, so trick your brain by saying, “I’m excited to meet this person!” instead of “I’m nervous.”
- It’s often easier to believe you're excited than to try forcing yourself to calm down, especially when your body already feels hyped up.
- Say you’ve got an upcoming bank meeting. Swap “I’m dreading this” with “I’m excited to talk about the loan!” It may sound silly, but even laughing at yourself helps relax your nerves.
- Try saying, “I’m looking forward to meeting my new boss tomorrow!” instead of worrying about it.
- Tell a friend, too. Sharing your excitement out loud helps reinforce the idea in your mind and turns it into a more positive experience.
Focus on Your Breathing. Clear your mind and turn your attention to your breath. Deep abdominal breathing is a powerful way to reduce stress and bring calm. Make sure you’re breathing into your belly, not your chest, to fully relax.
- Shallow chest breaths can heighten anxiety. To check your breath, place your hands on your belly button—your stomach should rise and fall, not your chest.
- If you can, lie down and feel the movement of your breath. Just focus on inhaling and exhaling for a few minutes. No time to lie down? Sit still with eyes closed, breathe deeply, and use a calming image or word to help center yourself.
PRO TIP
Dr. Niall Geoghegan, PsyD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Managing anxiety isn’t easy. Clinical psychologist Niall Geoghegan explains: “Anxiety is part of life. We’re all going to face it, but what’s important is knowing you can enter a stressful situation, allow the anxiety to rise, and let it pass through you. You’ll still be standing—it won’t destroy you.”
Release muscle tension. Loosening your muscles sends your brain the message that everything is okay. When we’re nervous, we often pace, fidget, clench our jaws, or wring our hands—actions that actually trigger more panic. Try progressive muscle relaxation by tightening and then relaxing each group of muscles.
- Do a full “body scan,” starting at your head and slowly working your way down, consciously relaxing each muscle as you go.
- Practice these techniques in the days leading up to your meeting, and again right before it. That way, you’ll enter the situation feeling physically relaxed and free of anxious habits.
Center your thoughts with meditation. Meditation can help you unwind, reduce stress, and sharpen your focus before a meeting. It can calm your nerves and lower your blood pressure. You don’t need to be an expert—just sit quietly, breathe deeply, and focus on your breath.
- If your meeting is a few days away, carve out time each day for meditation. It’ll build your skill and help you feel more grounded.
- Explore guided meditation videos online or try a meditation app to support your practice.
They’re human, just like you. Even if you’re meeting someone with a high-profile title like the Pope or the Prime Minister, remember—they’re still just people. Keep your mindset realistic and optimistic.
- For instance, if you're about to meet someone from a dating app, it’s easy to idealize them. Instead, reframe the moment as simply getting to know someone new rather than searching for 'the one.'
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Reader Poll: When we asked 1076 Mytour readers about their biggest fear in forming a new relationship, only 10% said it was revealing more about themselves.
- So don’t be afraid to open up a bit—they’re likely just as eager to learn more about you.
Be kind to yourself. Don’t let the fear of messing up ruin the moment. Everyone makes mistakes, and most people are forgiving. And if they’re not, it’s just a brief encounter—you’ll move on. Later, you might even laugh about it (your friends probably will).
- Sure, you might say the wrong thing, but don’t dwell on it. Own it, apologize, and carry on.
- If you mess up, like calling someone the wrong name, try a polite response like, “Oh my goodness, I’m so embarrassed! Please accept my apology!”
Picture a Positive Interaction
Visualize your interaction. If you’re feeling uneasy about what you’ll say or do, try walking through the scene in your imagination. Picture the moment in vivid detail. Visualization helps train your brain by mentally preparing for a successful outcome, which can boost your confidence when facing similar situations in real life.
- Map out every step—if you’re preparing for a job interview, imagine driving to the building, walking in, greeting the receptionist, and sitting across from your interviewer in your chosen outfit.
- Feel the emotions you hope to experience—confidence, enthusiasm, or calmness—as part of your mental rehearsal.
- Engage all your senses. If you’re visualizing a date at an Italian restaurant, breathe in the aroma of garlic, savor the taste of lasagna, and soak in the ambiance.
- Picture the best possible outcome: a great conversation, a productive meeting, or a meaningful connection.
- You can also reflect on a real-life experience that went well to remind yourself how capable you are of creating positive moments.
Make visualization a habit. Set aside time each day—either in the morning or before bed—to strengthen your visualization skills. Like building a muscle, consistent practice makes it more powerful and easier to use.
- Maintain an upright posture and close your eyes to stay focused during your practice sessions.
- Consider pairing visualization with meditation for a more grounding experience.
- End your session with a personal affirmation like “I am calm and ready,” or “I’ve got this!”
Put your vision into words. Writing down your ideal scenario helps clarify your visualization and gives you something to revisit anytime you need encouragement.
- Keep your written visualization in a private place like a journal or a digital note. Read it during quiet moments—maybe while commuting—to reinforce your intentions.
Showing Confidence
Keep a positive mindset. A good attitude not only helps you stay composed but also makes you more approachable. People respond better to those who seem upbeat and open to conversation.
- Give yourself a little pep talk with phrases like “I can do this” or “Let’s make it happen.”
- Remind yourself of your strengths and past successes—you’ve done great things before, and you’re capable of this too.
Dress to stand out (in the right way). Choose attire that suits the occasion while also making you feel confident and polished. If you’re heading into a job interview, opt for business wear like a tailored suit or a professional blouse and slacks. For a casual first date, a pair of jeans and a sharp sweater or your favorite dress can strike the right balance.
- In formal settings, it’s perfectly fine to show a bit of your personality—maybe through a vibrant shirt, bold tie, or unique jewelry—but don’t go overboard. When uncertain, lean toward a more classic, conservative style.
Show confidence through body language. How you carry yourself sends a strong message. Stand tall, keep eye contact, and smile warmly when greeting someone to instantly convey assurance and friendliness.
- When shaking hands, offer a firm grip and maintain eye contact to create a strong first impression.
Speak with clarity and warmth. Make sure your voice is loud and clear enough to be easily heard, and look the person in the eye—not at the floor—when saying hello. Clear, confident speech helps establish trust and shows you’re present.
- Avoid talking too quickly—nerves often make people speed up unconsciously.
- Welcome the person with a sincere greeting. Say their name to make the moment more personal: “Hi, Marisol, it’s a pleasure to meet you!”
Build a connection through conversation. Pay attention to your surroundings and use them to spark conversation. Finding shared interests or simply starting with light chat can ease nerves and lay the groundwork for a positive relationship.
- Pick up on visual clues—maybe it’s something they’re wearing, artwork on their wall, or even the weather. Any of these can serve as an easy entry point.
- If you’re in their office and spot a family photo, try saying, “That’s a lovely picture! How old are your kids?”
- If your date has a pin supporting a candidate you also like, comment with something like, “Great choice! I think she’d be an excellent mayor!”
- Use their name naturally during your conversation and again when saying thank you or goodbye. It helps create a more friendly and personal tone.
