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Whether made intentionally or subconsciously, many of your decisions influence your sense of inner peace. For some, this means having a stable, engaging job with a high income. For others, it might involve emotional security, such as building trust in a relationship or feeling safe within oneself. By learning to make deliberate choices, you can create a more positive and secure life for yourself, both personally and professionally.
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Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness involves observing your thoughts and feelings to cultivate a positive awareness of yourself and your surroundings in the present moment. Research shows that practicing mindfulness can help you feel more secure about yourself and your relationships, gradually leading to a sense of fulfillment.
- Try mindful breathing exercises. Slowly inhale while counting to five, hold your breath for five seconds, then exhale slowly for five seconds.
- Focus on the present moment.
- Whenever your mind starts to wander, bring your attention back to the sensations in your body and the sensory information around you.
- Cultivating mindfulness requires patience and consistent practice. Make an effort to practice daily, and over time, you will feel happier, more secure, and at peace.
Try connecting with others. Emotional support from loved ones and trusted individuals can provide a profound sense of security. Reconcile with a friend you’ve had disagreements with and rekindle that bond in your life. Seek support or advice from those closest to you to renew a sense of community.
- Reaching out to old friends and reigniting past friendships can remind you that there are people in your life who care deeply for you.
- Heartfelt conversations with loved ones can strengthen your relationship with them. Remember to show love and support to your friends, partner, or family, and ask for the same in return.
Address your emotional needs. Everyone has emotional needs that we strive to fulfill through love, friendship, and family bonds. Each type of connection offers different feelings of comfort, security, and acceptance. If you’re feeling emotionally insecure, it might be because one or more of your primary relationships are not meeting your needs.
- Reflect honestly on the relationships in your life. Have you ever felt unloved or uncared for in these relationships? Do you feel secure with those around you, or is there always a lingering sense of unease?
- If you find that a relationship in your life is causing insecurity, try talking to a friend, partner, or family member about how you feel. Identify what they could do differently, and have an honest yet loving conversation about your needs and how they can be met.
Learn to trust. Many people feel emotionally insecure due to a lack of trust. This might stem from a past romantic or friendship disappointment or simply from a deep-seated fear of abandonment. Whatever the cause of your skepticism, know that you cannot go through life without trusting others. Not every relationship or friendship will end badly just because one (or even several) did.
- Ask yourself if your skepticism stems from a lack of self-trust. Many people unconsciously project their fears and negative emotions onto others. Could it be that you distrust others because you doubt yourself?
- Sometimes, distrust in others comes from a lack of confidence in your ability to make sound decisions. If you want to build a romantic or friendly relationship with someone, determine if you’re willing to risk being hurt. Trust yourself and believe that you can handle whatever comes your way.
Find a sense of self-security
Stop comparing yourself to others. One of the most damaging things you can do to your self-esteem is compare yourself to others. This is true whether you’re comparing physical attributes, like your body, to actors and models in the media, or intellectual, creative, and professional achievements to those of others.
- Discover your unique style and recognize your own beauty. You are a unique and wonderful individual; comparing your life, body, or career to others only harms you.
- Remember that you are ultimately responsible for your own happiness, including your self-satisfaction and self-love. Treat yourself kindly and respect who you are in the present moment, not the future version of yourself you aspire to become.
Recognize and adjust your negative beliefs. Everyone has a core belief system that shapes how they see themselves in the broader context of the world. Many beliefs form during childhood, but some develop or can be adjusted later in life. Negative core beliefs are built on negative life experiences, unrealistic expectations, biases, and self-critical judgments.
- Ask yourself if your life experiences have led you to believe something is “wrong” with you, and then question what your idea of “normal” is based on.
- Can you link a specific person, place, or event to any negative belief you hold? If so, why do you think that belief is entirely true when it’s based on one person’s opinion or a single negative event?
- Ask yourself honestly, “Would I say to others what I think about my body, career, or lifestyle?” If you wouldn’t say hurtful things to others, why say them to yourself?
- Examine the evidence supporting your negative beliefs. What are they truly based on, and is there anything remotely positive that could come from them?
- Create opportunities for new, safe, healthy, and positive experiences you’ve never had before. Approach situations you’ve previously avoided (as long as they’re safe) and face challenges head-on instead of giving up on your aspirations.
- Do kind things for yourself—things that are safe, enjoyable, and make you feel good about who you are.
- Try being more assertive with the people in your life. Don’t be domineering, but speak up about your thoughts and opinions.
Acknowledge and celebrate your strengths. In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it’s easy to forget how talented, strong, and interesting you are. This is especially true if your self-esteem is low. Take a few minutes each day to reflect on your strengths and consider keeping a journal to track how your self-esteem improves as you spend more time praising yourself.
- List your strengths. Then make another list of your achievements. A third list should include qualities or traits you admire in others and see in yourself to some degree. Regularly review these lists and update them every few weeks. Keep the old lists and compare them to the new ones after a few months to see if anything has changed.
- Ask a close friend, family member, or partner to list your best qualities. Have them write down why they care about you, what makes you special, and what you do better than anyone else. Keep this list with you and read it carefully whenever you feel dissatisfied with yourself.
Take good care of yourself. If you’re feeling insecure, you may not have been spending much time lately tending to your needs. Everyone has physical and emotional needs, and when they’re unmet, we often feel distressed. Take care of yourself daily, and you’ll likely feel much more comfortable and confident in your own skin.
- Set aside time each day for personal hygiene. Remember to brush and floss daily, shower or bathe, style your hair, shave, and trim your nails.
- Follow a balanced diet. Ensure you’re getting enough vitamins and nutrients, and avoid unhealthy foods.
- Exercise more. Find ways to work out daily, like walking or biking for errands instead of driving. In addition to daily walks or bike rides, aim for vigorous cardio workouts three times a week.
- Wear clothes that make you feel good about yourself. Whether you’re comfortable in fitted outfits or looser clothing, think about what style makes you feel most confident and wear it daily.
- Make sure you get enough sleep. Depending on your age, most adults need 7-9 hours of sleep each night.
Developing SMART Goals. A great way to feel secure and more confident is by accomplishing goals. Many people feel anxious when they don't achieve their goals, but instead of blaming yourself, consider whether your goals are feasible or even measurable. Experts agree that developing SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Results-focused, and Time-bound) can help you set meaningful goals, while giving you a sense of purpose and success.
- Specific – clear and simple in defining exactly what you want to do.
- Measurable – set goals that you can measure. The only way to know you're truly progressing towards your goal is to have a measure of that progress.
- Achievable – your goals should be somewhat challenging, but ultimately realistic so you can actually achieve them.
- Results-focused – the measure of your progress towards your goal should be the results you achieve, not just the actions. Don't measure your progress just by the effort to reach the goal. Measure by the volume of achievements you make on the way to the final destination. Collect small victories along your journey.
- Time-bound – give yourself a realistic timeframe. Don't expect results immediately, but don't be too lenient with years of circling around with little effort. Determine a reasonable and realistic completion time and promise yourself to finish before that deadline.
Forgiving Yourself and Others. Living in this world, you may have hurt others and been hurt by someone. These sad events may have been intentional or accidental, but many people find it hard to erase them from their memory. However, no matter how much you dwell on these regrets, you cannot erase what has happened. It will only torment you and make you feel worse about yourself and others.
- Remember that mistakes give you the opportunity to grow. You may have hurt someone or been hurt by someone, but the important thing is that you learn from your mistakes, and the person who hurt you also learns from their mistakes.
- Instead of constantly dwelling on what you wish you had done differently, be aware that you want to do differently right now. The present is the only time you can change, because the past cannot be changed, and the future does not exist at this moment.
- At this moment, focus on how to become the best 'version' of yourself and find ways to make it a reality.
Finding Things You Feel Grateful For. Take time each day to reflect on the people and circumstances that have brought you to where you are today. Of course, not everyone and everything is always good, but surely you have experienced wonderful moments in life and perhaps met lovely and inspiring people. Don't forget that you might not be where you are today if others hadn't given you love, and if you hadn't been born into the circumstances you were.
- No one has a perfect life. In fact, many people struggle all their lives. No matter how difficult your life is, try to remember that there are lives out there that are harder, and those people might be admiring your life.
- Be grateful to those who have given you love and taught you to love. Think about how sad and lonely life would be without the love that others have given you, at least at some points in your life.
- Try to appreciate the little things in life. Watch the sunrise and sunset every day, collect the events you have experienced to see a new day – knowing that many people cannot know that similar things are happening right now.
Feeling Secure About Finances
Identifying What You Hope to Achieve. What does financial security mean to you? If you think it's just about being rich, you might not have a realistic dream. But if you think it's about paying off debts, having savings for your child's college education or retirement, then you have a realistic goal that you can strive towards.
- Having a clear idea of the purpose and reason for saving will help you stay motivated and on track.
- Once you have identified your goal, you can consult a financial advisor to find investment or savings methods.
Assess your current financial situation. To achieve financial security, start by evaluating your current financial status to identify necessary changes. Begin by reviewing your savings and expenses.
- Document your income and savings, if any.
- Track daily, weekly, and monthly expenditures. Carry a small notebook to record every expense, including purchases, bill payments, and the timing of these transactions. Note your emotional state during each purchase.
- Analyze your spending habits. Do you shop when stressed or sad? Identify impulsive buys or opportunities to purchase items at lower prices.
- Avoid spending more than you earn to prevent debt accumulation, which can hinder financial recovery.
- Find ways to reduce spending without eliminating all pleasures. Set limits to avoid impulsive and unnecessary purchases.
Reduce expenses. Essential costs like rent, utilities, and groceries are unavoidable, but you can minimize these by shopping wisely and avoiding unnecessary expenses.
- Always bring a shopping list when buying groceries.
- Take advantage of discounts, generic brands, or bulk purchases to save money while acquiring necessities.
- Purchase used items when possible.
- Compare prices before buying. Look for deals online or in newspapers to find lower prices.
- Cook at home. Bringing lunch and coffee to work can significantly cut costs, allowing you to save or spend on other priorities.
- Seek free or low-cost entertainment options, such as online movies or library rentals.
- Adjust your thermostat when away or asleep, using heating or cooling only when necessary. Consider pets' comfort if applicable.
- Avoid shopping with borrowed money or credit cards. Save until you can afford purchases outright to avoid debt.
Increase your income. If you're working part-time, consider finding an additional job or transitioning to full-time employment. Even full-time workers can explore side gigs for extra income, which can be saved.
- Check job listings in newspapers or online for opportunities.
- Look for flexible jobs that fit your schedule, such as dog walking, babysitting, or freelance tasks.
Open a savings account. Saving money takes time, but the effort is worthwhile. Many people work hard to save, achieving financial security as a reward. Start small, perhaps saving 400,000 VND monthly, and watch your savings grow.
- Many financial institutions allow automatic transfers from your paycheck to savings.
- Some banks offer programs that round up transactions to the nearest dollar, depositing the difference into savings.
- Avoid using savings unless absolutely necessary. Delay purchases until your next paycheck to preserve your savings.
Advice
- Never let anyone discourage you.
- If you ever feel overwhelmed by life's pressures, don't keep it bottled up—write it down on paper, talk to a friend, or consult a professional counselor.
- Ensure you get enough sleep, eat healthily, and exercise regularly. Taking care of yourself is the first step to feeling happier and more secure in life.
- Seek out positive role models and try to emulate them. However, stay true to yourself—find ways to integrate the positive traits you admire into your own personality.
- Remember that tough times are temporary and will pass. Find comfort in the people around you who care about you, and know that things will get better.
Warning
- If you're overwhelmed by insecurity and feel unable to cope, seek help. Talk to a therapist about strategies to manage stress and work towards a healthier, more confident sense of self.
- Holding onto a negative self-image is harmful to your well-being.
