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Learn about what it truly means to identify as a nonbinary lesbian.
Sexuality, attraction, and gender are all fluid, existing on a spectrum. This means there are no hard-and-fast "rules" when it comes to how one chooses to identify. As the LGBTQ+ community's language continues to evolve, the term 'lesbian,' historically tied to women, may leave some questioning its relevance when someone identifies as a nonbinary lesbian. In this article, we will explore what it means to be a nonbinary lesbian, examine the history of both 'lesbian' and 'nonbinary' labels, and offer guidance for those trying to find the label that fits them best.
Key Points to Understand
- Yes, you can identify as a nonbinary lesbian! Choose whichever label resonates with you.
- Even though the term "lesbian" is traditionally linked to women who love women, lesbian spaces have historically been open to those who don’t conform to gender norms.
- Today, sexual attraction and gender identity are seen as distinct from each other, so it's possible to be nonbinary or transgender while identifying as straight, bisexual, lesbian, or any other sexual identity.
How to Navigate Your Journey
Is it possible to identify as both nonbinary and a lesbian?
Absolutely, you can identify as both nonbinary and lesbian. Sexuality, attraction, and gender identity are separate aspects of human experience, and how one identifies is entirely a personal choice. While the term "lesbian" has traditionally referred to women attracted to other women, there are those who argue that the term is inherently nonbinary. Labels are fluid, and there is no definitive "right" or "wrong" way to define your identity.
- Language and labels are constantly evolving. Though "lesbian" is commonly used for women who love women, more inclusive movements allow nonbinary and transgender people to adopt the term. Additionally, many individuals assigned female at birth, regardless of their gender identity, feel a strong connection to lesbian or queer spaces.
- Identifying as a nonbinary lesbian does not mean you are straight. Sexuality and attraction are personal, and the concept of attraction is often undefined, especially outside of the male/female binary. There are many labels—bisexual, queer, pansexual, and beyond. The choice of label is yours and yours alone.
Understanding the Origins of the Term "Lesbian"
"Lesbian" traditionally refers to a woman attracted to other women, but some nonbinary and transgender people also embrace the term to describe their sexuality. Historically, gender and sexuality have often been intertwined, particularly for women. Many lesbians have adopted nontraditional gender expressions to access male-dominated or queer spaces.
- The term "lesbian" is derived from the ancient Greek poet Sappho, who hailed from the island of Lesbos and famously wrote about her love for women.
Gender fluidity has long been a part of lesbian culture. As far back as ancient Egypt, women who wanted access to male-dominated spaces or relationships with other women would dress in masculine clothing. In early 20th-century Paris, androgynous lesbians often adopted male clothing, and by the 1950s, women who dressed in more masculine ways frequently identified as butch lesbians.
- During the 1950s, lesbians began to challenge traditional gender roles—"femme" lesbians embraced more feminine clothing, while "butch" lesbians took on a more masculine appearance.
Transgender individuals became more visible as the modern gay and lesbian civil rights movement progressed. In the 1990s, tensions arose between transgender and lesbian activists, as some lesbians felt that including trans men in “women-born-women-only” spaces could jeopardize women's safety and independence from men. However, the focus on gay and lesbian rights also created a platform for trans and nonbinary people to share their stories.
- While there isn't a specific pride flag for nonbinary lesbians, the dark orange stripe on the 5-striped and more widely-recognized 7-striped lesbian flags symbolizes gender nonconformity, encompassing lesbians who identify as transgender, genderqueer, nonbinary, etc.
- Today, both gender and sexuality are diverse in their expressions and definitions. Lesbians may adopt labels like genderqueer, nonbinary, transmasculine, or gender-nonconforming to describe their gender identity.
Origins of the Term “Nonbinary”
“Nonbinary” refers to individuals who don’t exclusively identify as either a man or a woman. It is often considered an umbrella term that encompasses other gender identities, such as agender, bigender, genderqueer, or gender-fluid. Nonbinary people might identify as both a man and a woman, somewhere in between, or outside the binary entirely.
- Terms like “transgender” and “nonbinary” focus on gender identity and expression, which are distinct from sexual orientation and attraction. This is why someone who identifies as nonbinary or transgender can also identify as straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc.
- Both “transgender” and “nonbinary” pertain to gender identity and expression, separate from sexual orientation. Thus, a nonbinary or transgender person can also be straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc.
Nonbinary and gender-expansive identities have existed for centuries. Ancient civilizations, including Mesopotamia, Greece, and Rome, recorded instances of transgender individuals. Certain indigenous and South Asian communities recognize a third gender beyond the traditional male and female categories.
- The term “transgender” gained widespread use in the 1990s, but scholars trace its origins back to the 1960s, when it was first employed in medical contexts and by early trans activists like U.S. Army veteran Jorgensen and Transvestia magazine's Virginia Prince. Furthermore, trans and gender nonconforming individuals have existed across diverse cultures and eras, even before Western constructs of identity emerged.
Leslie Feinberg's work laid the foundation for terms like “nonbinary.” Leslie Feinberg (zie/zir or she/her), a writer and activist, identified as a “transgender lesbian” and was deeply involved in working-class butch lesbian circles. In the 1992 pamphlet, Transgender Liberation: A Movement Whose Time Has Come, Feinberg expanded the term “transgender” to include a broader political scope, embracing various forms of gender expression. Under the transgender umbrella, terms like “nonbinary” and “genderqueer” were coined to better describe diverse gender identities.
- Language continues to evolve to reflect the expanding gender spectrum. Today, gender identity and sexual orientation are seen as separate, meaning one can identify as nonbinary, genderqueer, or transgender, while also being gay, straight, bisexual, etc.
Exploring Identity Labels
Ultimately, you are the only one who can determine which labels fit you best. If you feel that “nonbinary lesbian” is a term that aligns with your identity, go ahead and try it out! It's completely normal to experiment with different identity labels to define your sexuality, attraction, or gender. It’s also okay to try various labels to see which one feels right for you.
- Always remember to honor the labels others choose for themselves. You don’t have to fully understand why someone identifies in a particular way, as long as it makes sense to them. If you're unsure about someone's name or pronouns, don't hesitate to ask respectfully and with curiosity.
- It’s also perfectly fine not to use any labels at all. While labels can provide comfort, they can also feel limiting for some. Follow what feels best for you!
Think of your labels as milestones, not final destinations. It’s easy to get caught up in the pressure of labels, but remember that how you identify doesn’t have to be fixed forever. Allow yourself the space to evolve and explore—understanding who you are and what feels right is a natural part of personal growth!
Curious Quiz: Am I a Lesbian?
Wondering if you’re into girls? Whether your TikTok “For You” page is suddenly filled with WLW (Women Loving Women) content or if you’re unsure but can’t stop thinking about the girl from the coffee shop… this quiz is made for you.
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