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Inviting someone to spend time together can seem like a significant move when building a new friendship. Whether it's a peer from school, a colleague at work, or someone you encountered at a social event, the idea might initially feel intimidating. However, extending an invitation to hang out doesn’t have to be nerve-wracking. Express your interest in spending time together in the future, or propose a specific activity. Be confident and suggest a spontaneous plan to make the invitation feel natural.
Steps to Follow
Extending a Casual Invitation for Later
Approach them in a relaxed manner. If you’ve been thinking about inviting them for some time, avoid being overly intense. Stay composed so your request to hang out feels natural and not overly eager. Take a moment to breathe and speak in your usual tone.
- Phrases like, “You’re amazing, and I really want to hang out more,” might come off as too enthusiastic.
- Keep it light with a classmate by saying, “Every time we chat, it’s always so noisy here. We should meet up outside of class sometime.”
- If you enjoyed someone’s company at a party, try, “It was great meeting you—let’s hang out again soon!”
Leverage shared interests to suggest hanging out. Inviting someone to spend time together can feel easier when you have a specific activity in mind. If you know you share a common interest with the person, use that as a foundation for your invitation. Propose doing the activity together to make the idea more appealing.
- For instance, if you and a coworker often discuss The Walking Dead, invite them to watch an episode at your place. Since you both know the schedule, it provides a clear timeframe for the hangout.
- If you frequently see someone at the gym, suggest working out together. Say, “Having a spotter could help us both push harder during our workouts.”
- You could also say, “I’ve noticed we’re often painting in the studio at the same time. How about we plan a session to paint together?”
Approach the invitation with confidence. Doubting whether the person will accept your invitation can make the interaction awkward. Instead, believe in your own likability and assume they’ll say yes. A confident and straightforward ask is more likely to be well-received than a hesitant one.
- Avoid phrases like, “You’re probably too busy or have other friends, but maybe we could hang out if you’re free. No worries if not.”
- For example, if you want to hang out with a coworker, casually mention in the break room, “We should plan something fun outside of work sometime.” This shows interest without being overbearing.
- If you’re part of a weekly club with someone, say, “We see each other here every week—let’s grab a bite after the next meeting.” This direct approach assumes their interest.
Proposing a Specific Time to Meet
Offer specific times that suit your schedule. When inviting someone to hang out, have a few dates in mind when you’re available. Identify three potential times within the next two weeks and suggest them to the person. This increases the likelihood of finding a mutually convenient time.
- Vague invitations for “sometime in the future” are less likely to materialize. Providing specific dates makes it easier for the other person to commit.
- For example, if you’re usually free on Tuesday nights, mention, “I’m free next Tuesday—would that work for you?”
- You could also say, “I’m planning to explore downtown shops and grab lunch over the next couple of Saturdays. Would you like to join me?”
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Invite them to an upcoming event. If you’re aware of a party or gathering, even if you’re not the host, extend an invitation to the person. Since the event has a fixed time, their inability to attend reflects on the event, not on you. This approach also feels less intense than a solo hangout.
- For example, if you’re hosting a Super Bowl party, ask them to join. It’s a popular event with a set schedule and plenty of people to mingle with.
- If you don’t have any events planned, organize a group outing with friends specifically to include the person you’d like to know better.
- Public events work too. Suggest attending a local festival together. They might already plan to go, and it’s a relaxed, open setting.
Plan for the upcoming weekend. While weekdays are often packed with routines, weekends tend to be more flexible. If you usually interact with people during the week, suggest a weekend activity. This opens up opportunities for morning, afternoon, or evening plans.
- Weekends are ideal as people are more likely to stay out late on Fridays and Saturdays, and they often have more free time during the day on weekends.
- Weekends also feature a variety of events such as local theater performances, farmer’s markets, festivals, concerts, and social gatherings.
- You could say, “This week has been exhausting. I really need to unwind this weekend. How about we hit the shooting range after work on Friday?”
Embracing Spontaneity
Suggest grabbing a meal together. If you’re at work or finishing a class around lunchtime, ask the person if they’d like to join you for lunch. If you both brought your own meals, you can simply sit and eat together. Alternatively, propose going out for a bite. This is an easy, low-pressure way to spend time together since everyone needs to eat.
- It doesn’t have to be an immediate plan. You could suggest meeting for dinner after work or in a few hours once you’ve wrapped up your tasks.
- If you’re leaving a late-night event, ask if they’d like to grab a late-night snack at a nearby diner.
Transition from a meeting or class to hanging out. If you’re with someone at work, a club meeting, or in class, ask if they’d like to do something afterward. You can bring it up during the event or right as it ends.
- While some people may have back-to-back commitments, many are free after scheduled events. Use this window to suggest a casual hangout.
- For example, say, “I’ve got a couple of free hours after class. Want to take a walk around the quad?” This is a simple, low-pressure way to spend time together.
- As you’re leaving work or a meeting, you could say, “I’m heading to Poor Richard’s for a drink. Want to join me?” This kind of invitation feels natural and is commonly accepted.
Invite someone to join you wherever you’re headed. Whenever you’re about to do something and spot someone you’d like to spend time with, ask them to come along. Since you’re going anyway, it’s no big deal if they decline. If it’s someone you see regularly, you’ll have plenty of chances to invite them to different activities.
- This works well if you’re leaving your dorm to catch a movie, heading out for a hike, or leaving the office for a game of ultimate frisbee.
- Make it a habit to invite people to join you. Over time, they’ll get comfortable with your invitations and may eventually say yes.
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